Cow Corner

  • Welcome a new star: ‘Stevie D’

    After the rain had subsided and the 'wet break' board games had been confined to Luke Wright's kit bag, England welcomed a new star to their ranks.

    England captain Andrew Strauss left coin toss adjudicator Mike Atherton scouring in bemused fashion at his teamsheet after announcing that replacing Craig 'ladies love it' Kieswetter was one "Stevie D".

    Athers, realising he was being made to look like a confused geriatric, promptly nodded and moved on to other matters, such as the less-than-efficient super-sopper, the sodden outfield, and the surprisingly high-spirited crowd.

    It was Stevie Davies's

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  • Danger Strauss saves the day

    England delivered a Pakistan-esque performance in the field as the tourists posted a "well, we could be in for a match here" score and Andrew 'Danger' Strauss was left to smash a destructive and decisive century.

    If the murmurings around the ex-pros' area of the ground (or the bar, as it is better known) were to be believed, Strauss's place in the England side for the 2011 World Cup was about as certain as Samit Patel's prospects of dropping a stone over the off season.

    But the England captain stamped his authority on the match in clinical, unerring fashion as he plundered 10 fours and one six

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  • Strauss carries England amid collapse

    England captain Andrew Strauss looked imperious in reaching his 18th Test century, but a middle-order collapse left him fiddling helplessly with his choker as Australia hit back.

    The morning session was notable for some good batting from Strauss and opening partner Alastair Cook - and also for Australia's bowlers delivering such absolute filth that it's a wonder it could be broadcast on pre-watershed television.

    That left England to seize the ascendency for several glorious hours, until their middle order fell like a cardboard Npower girl from 196-1 to 333-6.

    Ricky Ponting came into the Ashes

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  • Who is your favourite Pietersen now?

    6.30PM - England 309-3 (90 overs) - Bell flicks Ntini down to fine leg and that's stumps. He finishes unbeaten on 75 while Pietersen will resume on 104 after an unbroken 192-run stand.

    The book goes to the_kop2003 who will need to send his address (again) to . Join us at 10.30am tomorrow for more of the same but less spam.


    6.15PM - England 294-3 (86 overs) - Three figures for Pietersen!!!! His 13th Test hundred as he stands up tall and punches Morkel through the covers. Just 124 balls and 180 minutes of batting with 13 boundaries and a

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  • The unstoppable Burnley Bronco

    5.45pm: The super hover is on and that is it for the day which is good news for mkip1234 who will become his region's leading orator on cycling with all those mags. E-mail your details to See you at 10.30am.


    5.10pm: Bad light I'm afraid. Jimmy can put his feet up and get handshakes. We are off to get milkshakes. It's dark but stay tuned, we will keep you informed. 

    5pm: New Zealand 96-6 (33 overs) - WICKET! Jim Laker, Anil Kumble, Jimmy Anderson?? The ten-wicket haul is on as he goes around the wicket and gets one to leave Oram

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  • Saturday Night Fever

    19.29 - New Zealand 177-5 (60 overs): Oram clubs two fours off the final over from Sidebottom and that, at last, is stumps. An impressive fightback from the Kiwis but England remain massive favourites, particularly following those two late wickets.

    Cowers will be back in the morning, and today's non-event of a competition goes the way of spudaz86 who correctly predicted a New Zealand follow-on.


    19.20 - New Zealand 169-5 (58 overs): WICKET!! Flynn goes for 49. He flings his bat at a wide one from Sidebottom, it's a rash shot and Ambrose moves to his left to

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  • Washout spares whitewash

    18:56 - MATCH ABANDONED! BOO! HISS! Particularly annoying for the English minority of Proteas ghetto Southfields, as they will not be able to jibe their South African chums about a series whitewash. Oh well, 4-0 it is, a quite superb ODI introduction for new captain KP. Thanks for joining us though, shame mother nature decided not to play ball today.

    18:39 - Rain update... Having missed the 17:45 deadline, they have to decide whether to play by 19:00 at the latest, and take to the field no later than 19:55. If not, the match is a wash-out and England fail to get the 5-0. Boo!

    17.28 - Play was 

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  • Damp squib in dank Cardiff

    If 'dreary' and 'uninspiring' were not the terms on the tip of your
    tongue after watching England pummel Pakistan in Cardiff then
    perhaps your evening was better spent reading Ian Botham's books on fishing.

    The tourists' attitude appeared to suggest they were keen to show the
    world that worse was still to come from them as they were skittled out for just

    It is fair to say that England are thoroughly enjoying the summer, and
    Graeme Swann et al treated the match as a testimonial at times, laughing,
    joking and patting Timmy Bresnan's paunch at every opportunity.

    It was an attendance which a

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  • England shine for Pietersen

    England 49-1 (17 overs): CLOSE: FINE DAY FOR ENGLAND. The home side lose Strauss early on, but Cook and Bell combine to see them through to the close with an unbroken 42-run stand. 

    England 42-1 (15 overs): Good progress from England this evening, eight overs remaining. Bell and Cook haven't given the South Africans a sniff since Strauss' wicket.

    England 34-1 (12 overs): Ntini is still slanting the ball across Cook, who is doing well to maintain his discipline. The light is fine at the moment; a beautiful summer's evening. 

    England 29-1 (9 overs): Good stuff from the England boys at the

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  • Shambolic Pakistan shamed at Lord’s

    It was a mournful, sombre atmosphere at cricket's HQ as a humiliated Pakistan completed their hapless capitulation in the fourth Test, overstepping the mark of irresponsible batting in the process.

    The tourists recorded their heaviest ever defeat in a Test match as England's number nine Stuart Broad ended up scoring more runs in his one knock than the entire Pakistan side could muster in either of their two innings.

    While England were busy swiping a staggeringly spineless Pakistan batting line-up aside, there was an unavoidable elephant in the Lord's Long Room - the shocking allegations of

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