Cow Corner

  • Wonder-Paul

    It's been almost four years since England won THAT Ashes series against Australia and set about drinking their combined bodyweight on a drinking tour of London.

    It was the summer that made heroes of Andrew Flintoff and Kevin Pietersen, earning the pair world-beating reputations that have seen them command $1 million apiece to appear in this year's IPL.

    But as we head towards the 2009 edition of the biggest grudge match in cricket, neither Flintoff nor Pietersen are looking particularly comfortable in their superhero costumes.

    KP has been a pale imitation of his 2005 vintage in recent months,

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  • Hard lines for Symonds

    Ricky Ponting may be good pals with Andrew Symonds, but
    the Australia
    captain made his next pint with the big man a bit tricky after an
    astonishing backtrack over his omission from the Ashes squad.

    It was, apparently, a straight fight
    between Symonds and Shane Watson, with the blond, beach-bum allrounder getting
    the nod.

    Watson has spent the majority of his
    fledgling career exchanging treatment-table texts with Simon Jones, and even
    now is promising Cricket Australia, with all the sincerity of a Herschelle Gibbs public apology,
    that his latest back injury 'will not be a problem'.

    Watson does

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  • Memories of 1998

    When England walk out at Sabina Park on Wednesday they will be hoping for a better pitch than met the tourists ten years ago.

    As Mike Atherton and Alec Stewart strode out in Kingston, Jamaica on Thursday January 29 1998 they soon realised they faced what a club cricketer of a certain mediocrity sees every Saturday.

    We all know the first XI and the seconds - you know the guys with that annoying mix of youth, keenness and talent - get to play on manicured strips prepared by some old boy from the club who has been cutting the pitch since before the War (often Boer).

    But if you ply your weekend

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  • Bowling a maiden over

    You know that cricket is the new rock 'n' roll when an England player describes sex as "on tap", a term previously applied only to John Smith's and - on special occasions - Chicken Tikka Masala.

    Skunk-haired Lothario Kevin Pietersen, who is married to one-time pop queen Jessica Taylor, claims that scoring a century is better than sex on the basis that:

    "Centuries don't come around very often, whereas sex is on tap, isn't it?"

    But is it really true that carnal encounters occur more frequently than scoring a ton?

    Well, maybe for the likes of KP and Cow Corner (although in the latter's case it is

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  • England’s Salford saunter

    Eng 127-1 (17.3 overs) - Bell pulls Flynn through mid-wicket to finish 60 not out and that's it. England coast to a nine-wicket victory. Join us on Sunday morning for the first one-day international from the Riverside.

    BALL-BY-BALL SCORECARD  

    Eng 108-1 (15 overs) - Pietersen sweeps Scott Styris to the pickets at fine leg and Vettori through mid-wicket. Bell brings up his 50 off 39 balls and you can put a fork in this one - it's nearly done.

     Eng 85-1 (12 overs) - A sixer for Bell over long-on off Vettori and he's booked his place for the 'Yacht buying bowl' in Antigua this autumn. England on

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  • A Prince amongst kings

    South Africa 322-4 (105 overs): CLOSE OF PLAY: The light is offered, and the South African batsmen accept it. The end of play. South Africa's day.

    South Africa 322-4 (104 overs): I say "it may be a tricky spell for South Africa..." It obviously won't be, because the ball isn't doing anything, and Prince and de Villiers have got their feet under the table. 

    South Africa 315-4 (102 overs): 11 overs left to play. It's a bit gloomy and overcast, but there's no reason why we shouldn't fit them in. Might be a tricky little spell for South Africa. 

    6.22 - The players are out, and play is about to get

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  • Gone in 62 minutes

    12.02pm - NZ 232 (72.3 overs) - WICKET! Oram smashes Anderson for a massive six but he gives Martin the strike and he edges his second ball to Collingwood at slip. Jimmy takes the wicket and he leads England off after finishing with nine in the match. IT'S ALL OVER - ENGLAND WIN BY AN INNINGS AND NINE RUNS.

    pietervanrijn - you were spot on and you have won a lanyard. E-mail cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk with your postal details. See you tomorrow for all the fallout from the Test.

    FINAL SCORECARD | MATCH GALLERY   

    Noon - NZ 225-9 (72 overs) - WICKETS! Time to enjoy a nice Sunday roast before the

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  • Pietersen – the right man??

    Kevin Pietersen has been appointed as England's cricket captain. Here's what the experts are saying, have your say below.

    Mike Atherton, The Times: "It will be an enormous gamble. Not only does Pietersen have next to no experience of captaincy, he is England's best player, and along with Flintoff their greatest match-winner. In the past, flamboyant characters such as Botham and Flintoff, have found their competitive edge and brilliance dulled rather than sharpened by the extra responsibility. It may be the making of him; if not it will be the breaking of Hugh Morris, the man ultimately

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  • Strauss leads England charge

    21:10: England 301-3 (90 overs) STUMPS! No more alarms before the close and Pietersen will return unbeaten on 32 and Collingwood 11 not out. West Indies will be left to rue dropping Strauss and Pietersen not to forget a couple of half chances Cook offered. See you tomorrow and apologies again for the gremlins that wiped out the opening session.

    MATCH
    SCORECARD

    MATCH
    GALLERY

    21:00: England 295-3 (88 overs) IT IS ALL HAPPENING! Collingwood pulls Taylor square for four and then KP guides Edwards off the back foot behind point for a boundary. Two balls later he plays an impulsive hook which is

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  • Rain frustrates England and Scotland

    17.45: BAD NEWS: THAT'S IT FOR THE DAY! The umpires have been out and met the groundsmen, and decided that there is no way England could face 20 overs in their innings, and so the match has been abandoned. Frustrating news for both sides, but it has been a good day all round. England will have benefitted from the workout in the field, and for Scotland they have shown plenty of spirit in recovering from that poor start. And for the 6,000 crowd, they have enjoyed the day thoroughly, despite the weather. Make sure you stick around for all the latest cricket news; but that's it for Cowers for the

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