Cow Corner

  • Patience is a virtue

    South Africa 242-1: STUMPS The new ball is gradually losing its shine - and with it goes interest in today's action. Nothing more to tell you about as the day's play comes to a close with South Africa on 242-1, a grand total of 104 runs behind England. It certainly makes for an interesting day tomorrow. Or not, as the case may be. See you then.

    South Africa 233-1: McKenzie reaches 100! Well played! That might not have been the most scintillating innings ever, but it has been patient and calm - just what South Africa needed this morning. The job is still only half done though and his muted

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  • The return of Mini Hitler

    Darrell Bruce Hair, the man once dubbed a mini Hitler by Imran Khan, will make his return to top-level international umpiring in the second Test between England and New Zealand at Old Trafford on May 23.

    Umpiring is a simple job - all you have to do is stand in the middle for 30 hours and not get a single decision wrong.

    Umpires should either be lovable eccentrics like Billy Bowden, seemingly rehearsing for the Brazilian Mime Theatre during every match, or David Shepherd who even in a post-retirement arthritic condition is happy to start hopping every time he sees the 111 bus go past his

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  • It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces

    Two incidents over the weekend in two different Test matches are a reminder that sport hurts.

    Young New Zealand batsman Daniel Flynn woke up on Saturday morning looking like Ricky Hatton's sparring partner after having his front tooth knocked out by a James Anderson bouncer.

    And the blow, which also cracked one of his lower teeth, contributed to England's victory as the pugnacious left-hander took no further part in the match.

    Flynn, like many of those in fancy dress in the cheap seats at Old Trafford on Friday, suffered a groggy and sleepness night of nausea and vomiting.

    Cowers once

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  • Moores: Doesn’t know what he’s doing

    Lots and lots and lots of hoo-ha over the last 48 hours about Michael Vaughan and Paul Collingwood resigning the England captaincy, and Kevin Pietersen taking over the roles.

    Cowers has tried to get his head around the fussin' and a faffin'; tried to reason out a legitimate and rational response to it all.

    The conclusion? That rather than Vaughan and Collingwood, it should have been coach Peter Moores handing back his ECB shellsuit, polo-shirt and cap. By rights, it should have been Moores weeping in front of the cameras like a nine-year-old girl begging for the return of her dog-napped

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  • England waste chance to build

    South Africa 37-1 (9 overs) CLOSE OF PLAY: England will be delighted to have got the wicket of Smith before the close, but they will be disappointed not to have made more of their promising position with the bat earlier in the day. 

    South Africa 13-1 (5 overs):  McKenzie and Amla are doing a good job of seeing their side through this tricky spell; Harmison is roaring in from the other end, but just hasn't got his line yet.

    South Africa 4-1 (2 overs): EDGED! THROUGH THE GAP AT SLIP! McKenzie edges through the gap between third slip and gully. Nervous times for South Africa.

    South Africa 0-1 (1

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  • IPL Fever

    The most exciting thing to happen in cricket since the retirement of Chris Tavare is upon us - yes, the all-singing, all-dancing Indian Premier League gets underway this afternoon.

    When the idea was first floated, surely no-one could have predicted the staggering interest that the player auction generated in Mumbai.

    And in the two months since, the IPL has been getting as many search engine hits as Jenna Jameson.

    So first the basics:

    Eight city-based franchises, owned by a host of businessmen and celebrity consortiums
    59 Twenty20 fixtures between today and June 1 culminating in

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  • Rain frustrates England and Scotland

    17.45: BAD NEWS: THAT'S IT FOR THE DAY! The umpires have been out and met the groundsmen, and decided that there is no way England could face 20 overs in their innings, and so the match has been abandoned. Frustrating news for both sides, but it has been a good day all round. England will have benefitted from the workout in the field, and for Scotland they have shown plenty of spirit in recovering from that poor start. And for the 6,000 crowd, they have enjoyed the day thoroughly, despite the weather. Make sure you stick around for all the latest cricket news; but that's it for Cowers for the

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  • What they say and what they mean…

    "It is a lot of fun and I am doing something for a place that I love to be in." Allen Stanford, the Antigua-based billionaire who is bankrolling the Twenty20 revolution in the West Indies.

    What he meant: "I've got more money than I know what to do with. I sleep on a matress stuffed with $50 notes, wear shirts with gold sovereigns as buttons and use diamond rings as washers in my toilet cistern. All this - and yet I was happier when I was poor. Help me, please. I'm going out of my mind with boredom."

    "A week ago Grant was playing club cricket and it just shows what a quality player he is in

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  • Gone in 62 minutes

    12.02pm - NZ 232 (72.3 overs) - WICKET! Oram smashes Anderson for a massive six but he gives Martin the strike and he edges his second ball to Collingwood at slip. Jimmy takes the wicket and he leads England off after finishing with nine in the match. IT'S ALL OVER - ENGLAND WIN BY AN INNINGS AND NINE RUNS.

    pietervanrijn - you were spot on and you have won a lanyard. E-mail with your postal details. See you tomorrow for all the fallout from the Test.


    Noon - NZ 225-9 (72 overs) - WICKETS! Time to enjoy a nice Sunday roast before the

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  • Blow selecta!

    Summer Sunday mornings were once an exciting time as you put Ceefax on at around 11am waiting for the latest England Test XI to be announced.

    In the days before Performance Squads, continuity and logic, virtually anyone who had made a 50 or taken a five-for in the previous two weeks in a Championship game was a maybe for the England team.

    This peaked in the great Ceefax summer of 1989 when in a six-match series against Australia, England picked 29 players!

    The likes of John Stephenson and Alan Igglesden made their one and only Test match appearances whilst Chris Tavare, Tim Robinson and 

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