Cow Corner

  • Sorry pair should both resign

    Cow Corner has returned from pasture to madness in the England ranks. According to conflicting reports, Peter Moores has either resigned as England coach or not resigned. Kevin Pietersen has either resigned as England captain, or not resigned.

    The truth will out, but Cow hopes both do the decent thing and the humiliated ECB accept their resignations with glee. If either man stays England's hopes of winning the 2009 Ashes are dead in the water.

    While Pietersen's credentials as a driven winner are not in question, his capacity to negotiate the choppy waters of cricketing diplomacy has been

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  • England go five down in Cuttack

    INDIA WIN BY SIX WICKETS! Another comprehensive win for India and they now lead the series 5-0. Half-centuries from Tendulkar (50), Sehwag (91), Raina (53*) and Dhoni (50) got them there and ultimately it was comfortable. England will take heart from a decent batting performance, but their bowling attack simply could not contain this India team. 

    SCORECARD
    GALLERY

    IND 250-4 (41 overs) WICKET! Dhoni waltzes down the wicket to
    heave one into the stadium, but this time it's not to be. The ball
    strikes his pad and Swann appeals successfully for an LBW call. If
    England can just get six more wickets

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  • England ridiculed in Rajkot

    ENG 229 (37.4 overs) - WICKETS! Broad holes out to long-on off Sehwag before a friendly full toss is swiped over mid-wicket for a six by Bopara. The captain executioner then slog sweeps the 20th maximum of the day before another run out. Bopara tickles one off his legs, it's Harmison call but he's well short even with his size 19s. 

    Bopara sweeps Harbhajan for six before cutting for a boundary and then planting Pathan into the next postcode to move to his fifty off 37 balls with five sixes. Anderson is then trapped plumb lbw by Pathan and it's all over!!

    India win by 158 runs and England have

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  • Superb Smith sends England crashing

    SA 283-5 (80 overs) - ALL OVER - SMITH SMASHES SOUTH AFRICA TO VICTORY. A final four, in the event off the final ball of Pietersen after he swiped unsuccessfully at a few Panesar deliveries, completes the job. He ends with 154no as the tourists celebrate their first series win in England since 1965. Well-deserved.

    Scorecard Match Gallery      

    SA 277-5 (78 overs) - Smith reaches his 150 with a single off Pietersen; Boucher reduces the runs required to five with a slash at a wide delivery. Perhaps England will be dumped out of this series in Panesar's over.

    SA 268-5 (76 overs) - SMITH

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  • Fred in seventh heaven

    New Zealand arrived at Heathrow yesterday afternoon for their tour of England and would have opened their morning papers to read the words of Marcus Trescothick.

    "He's ready to go. That's as good as he'll bowl - I don't think he'll get into a Test match against New Zealand in a couple of weeks time and bowl any differently. Bowling-wise, he's ready," said Trescothick of Andrew Flintoff.

    As the former England opener was nowhere near an airport at the time, we can only assume he was of sound mind and judgement.

    Freddie has not got through 42 overs without further damage his ankle so when we

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  • Sarwan refuses to let Harper spoil his day

    21:30 — WI 398/5 (109 overs) — Broad attempts a leg-cutter and is smeared to the pickets by Ramdin as another rapid half century partnership arrives before Sarwan dispatches a Pietersen full toss and cuts him late to the fence to move to 184. That's STUMPS and a draw must be the heavy favourite now. Join us at 2pm to see if Sarwan gets his 200.

    MATCH SCORECARD
    MATCH GALLERY

    21:15 — WI 380/5 (106 overs) — A tired Broad is thrashed to the boundary by Ramdin and West Indies could even reach the follow-on mark tonight. 15 minutes left.

    21:00 — WI 369/5 (103 overs) — Sarwan edges Broad just

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  • Going Live!

    Cow Corner is giddy as an eight-year-old on Christmas Eve.

    No, it's not because it has scored tickets to the Sex and the City movie, but because England start their international summer tomorrow in the first Test against New Zealand.

    What it means for Cow Corner is that it can abandon its present "scan the papers frantically for something interesting to write about" set-up, and take on a dynamic live format instead.

    Cowers will be strapping on its several-sizes-too-big pads, slipping a 'youth' box into its borrowed jockstrap, shunning a helmet for its Richie Richardson-style floppy hat and

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  • Chin music

    16:50: There's more chance of Cow Corner winning Britain's Got Talent with its ventriloquist act than there is of play resuming. We'll call that a day, barring any miracles.

    Which brings us to: COMPETITION RESULT!

    New Zealand's run rate today was a brisk 3.74 an over, which means the winner is... terrysmith2014!

    Well done sir, your 3.75 was almost exactly right. No wonder you are a top executive. Send your details to cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk and the coveted notepad will be in the post by, ooh, let's say Tuesday.

    Cow Corner is back tomorrow from 10am or thereabouts. See you then.

    Day one

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  • Roiling, rolling, rolling – Theme from Moor hide

    Peter Moores was about 2½ tons away from appearing on the back of a broadsheet with a turnip on his head.

    On the same night Avram Grant was sacked for coming second in everything, England looked to be down the Khyber without a Grey Nicholls against New Zealand.

    But due to that heavy roller which turned a bunsen of an Old Trafford pitch into the M3 after Monty Panesar's heroics, things are looking rosy again.

    Moores, shortly after asking Monty to pull his finger as shown in the picture, is certainly talking a good game: "The team has changed a lot and is developing and it's finding itself. To

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