Cow Corner

  • Well batted Skip

    7pm: NZ 40-0 (15 overs) -  Ambrose is having a stinker of a day and puts down a tough-ish catch down the leg-side as Redmond tickles Broad off his pads. England's misery is compounded as Vaughan goes down in instalments at mid-on and allows a How shot to go for four.

    That's stumps and with NZ trailing by just two runs, we have in effect a one-day club match. terrysmith2104 please e-mail cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk with your postal details as you are a lip salve champion. We're back at 10am tomorrow and I think I have a signed book to giveaway.

    DAY FOUR SCORECARD + LORD'S GALLERY     

    6.45pm: NZ

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  • Back to the draw board

    The ICC will announce later today that the result of the controversial Oval Test between England and Pakistan in 2006 will be changed from an English victory to a draw.

    There was nothing at stake in the series, with England already leading 2-0, so it's a token gesture.

    But having re-instated "Instigator in Chief" Darrell Hair as an International Cricket Council elite panel umpire, Cowers can't wait to hear the basis of this decision.

    In an era of spin - that's the Alastair Campbell rather than the Monty Panesar variety - how exactly will the ICC say 'we've changed the result because we want

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  • Why do you hate me?

    Why does English Cricket hate the general public? Haven't the general public always been good to English Cricket?

    Now, Cowers hates the general public, but does so for good reason. Cowers hates the general public with just cause: because they walk slowly; drive badly; buy novelty ring-tones for their mobiles; they talk about celebrities on first name terms to fill the cavernous gaps in their own lives; they knock over your motorcycle whilst attempting to reverse park and then claim they didn't, even though you watched them out of your window...

    ...they wear gaudy clothes that are too tight for

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  • Krunch, zlonk, biff: Twenty20 is back

    It's mid-summer in England.

    All over our green and lovely land, mysterious funfairs with exotic names slowly begin to spring up on parks and village greens. Pickpockets rub their dirty hands with glee; hospitals and lawyers brace themselves for a flood of whiplash victims; grumpy local residents prepare for a sleepless month.

    Thankfully, mid-summer in England also brings another type of carnival - one that Burberry-clad chavs will never get their hands on.

    Wednesday sees the start of Twenty20 season: six weeks of Bish, Bash, Bosh entertainment, ridiculed on its inception in 2003, now the most

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  • England’s Salford saunter

    Eng 127-1 (17.3 overs) - Bell pulls Flynn through mid-wicket to finish 60 not out and that's it. England coast to a nine-wicket victory. Join us on Sunday morning for the first one-day international from the Riverside.

    BALL-BY-BALL SCORECARD  

    Eng 108-1 (15 overs) - Pietersen sweeps Scott Styris to the pickets at fine leg and Vettori through mid-wicket. Bell brings up his 50 off 39 balls and you can put a fork in this one - it's nearly done.

     Eng 85-1 (12 overs) - A sixer for Bell over long-on off Vettori and he's booked his place for the 'Yacht buying bowl' in Antigua this autumn. England on

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  • Strauss leads from the front

    21:50: Eng 301-3 (92 overs) WICKET! : WOW - where did that come from!! The first ball with the new pill is banged in by Edwards and strikes Kevin Pietersen in the bicep. Very much in the mode of Arsene Wenger he tells Strauss "I did not see it." And then the banged in bouncer ends Strauss' vigil as the attempted pull lands straight in the arms of bowler Edwards. 169 for the skipper, a fine effort. Nightwatchman Jimmy Anderson survives 13 balls and that's STUMPS - England's day no question.

    MATCH
    SCORECARD

    MATCH GALLERY
      

    21:25: Eng 291-2 (87 overs) : Benn leaves the pitch with a dodgy ankle

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  • I fought the law and the law changed

    Normally when you fight the law, the law wins. But in cricket when you fight the law, the law changes.

    The International Cricket Council have moved swiftly - going against the rules set down in Bobby Fuller's 1965 ditty - by giving umpires the power to reduce the length of the interval between innings.

    It's all in an effort to avoid a repeat of the farcical scenes at the end of England's one-day clash with New Zealand on Wednesday, now known as 'logic bypass gate' by observes and 'a right bleeding balls-up' by those folk who forked out 50 notes for a ticket.

    With the ICC now open to changes at

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  • KP stars in Notts Landing

    6.12pm: England 273-7 (90 overs) - Broad drives and edges O'Brien to the wicket and that's all she wrote for the day. A pretty even day's cricket with KP the star turn.

    The competition winner is century.is100 who was just one away. Please e-mail your postal address to cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk  

    We will be back at 10.30am, see you then.

    BALL-BY-BALL SCORECARD | MATCH GALLERY    

    6pm: England 263-7 (87 overs) - WICKET! And another as O'Brien gets one to jag back and Ambrose, who has collected so many runs via the cut shot, departs attempting in it again with an under edge taken by Hopkins. James

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  • Black Caps lay the smack down

    18.55 - England 152-4 (59 overs): THAT'S STUMPS. New Zealand's day and then some. They built a big first innings score behind Ross Taylor and then nipped out three late wickets to put themselves firmly in the driving seat.

    More importantly, it is time for COMPETITION RESULTS!

    Cowers asked how many runs England would score today. The answer was 152, and the closest guess was from the positively Nostradamus-esque century.is100, who went for 151.

    The large flip-flops are yours, Sir or Madam. Send your details to cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk and they will be will be on their way just as soon as Cowers

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  • Papers save bashing for Pietersen

    As the newspapers surveyed the carnage of the high-speed train-wreck that was England's performance in the second Test against South Africa, the choice of potential targets for criticism were rich and varied.

    Would Darren Pattinson prove the fall guy after an ineffective debut in replacing the injured Ryan Sidebottom, England's find of the last 18 months?

    Or perhaps skipper Michael Vaughan, for his major role in Pattinson's bolt-from-the-blue selection and feckless batting performance?

    Maybe coach Peter Moores for giving the Pattinson debut the green light, and failing to come up with an

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