Cow Corner

  • One-Test wonders

    Who is the only Test opener never to have been dismissed? Cow Corner takes a look at some of the most celebrated one-Test wonders following the much-maligned decision to debut Darren Pattinson.

    Andrew Lloyd

    Anyone who has come up against this classic quiz question will know that the answer is Andy Lloyd, who played one Test for England in 1984 against West Indies.

    If anyone thinks that roofer Pattinson's first match was unfortunate, know that Lloyd was struck on the head by none other than pace legend Malcolm Marshall after making 10 runs in 33 minutes and, despite wearing "a flimsy, early

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  • Not the White stuff

    As the first Test in Bangalore petered out into a draw, don't you think Ricky Ponting wished that chubby blonde bloke was standing in the slips talking about drawing the nut flush on the river and swinging his arms around ready for a bowl.

    But Shane Warne is now a distant memory and Australia's spin bowling options are as dry as the Atacama Desert.

    Considering the Atacama Desert is 50 times drier than California's Death Valley - and that's called Death - we are not under selling how bare the cupboard is.

    "Leg-spinner" Cameron White made his debut during the match and although he managed to

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  • Watch your back, Ryan

    Yorkshire do not have a County Championship game this week which gives Tim Bresnan some more valuable time to stick pins in his Ryan Sidebottom voodoo doll.

    Bresnan was the fall guy when England named their 15-man squad for the £11.5m Stanford Super Series in the Caribbean with Sidebottom guaranteed a yacht, sorry a place, as long as he proves his fitness after injury.

    With about £150,000 guaranteed for the four blokes who don't even make the final XI, you wouldn't blame Bresnan on getting some hired goons to "do" Ryan. We're not encouraging violence - merely asking Ryan to carry an Ikea

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  • Black Caps lay the smack down

    18.55 - England 152-4 (59 overs): THAT'S STUMPS. New Zealand's day and then some. They built a big first innings score behind Ross Taylor and then nipped out three late wickets to put themselves firmly in the driving seat.

    More importantly, it is time for COMPETITION RESULTS!

    Cowers asked how many runs England would score today. The answer was 152, and the closest guess was from the positively Nostradamus-esque century.is100, who went for 151.

    The large flip-flops are yours, Sir or Madam. Send your details to and they will be will be on their way just as soon as Cowers

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  • Wisden Trophy hanging by a thread

    21:30 - Eng 80-3 (15 overs) - WICKET! Cook edges Hinds through to Ramdin and he refers but no let-off and England lose a third wicket. An express spell from Edwards has Pietersen hopping all over the place. KP edges the last delivery of the day to the leg-side boundary and England have it all to do on the last day of the series. See you tomorrow.


    21:15 - Eng 71-2 (13 overs) - Pietersen down on one knee and he
    sweeps Hinds into the crowd at mid-wicket for six. 27 off 20 balls,
    he's lapped and given England half a glimmer. The run rate is five and
    a half an hour. 

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  • Swann puts England on top

    21:30: Eng 31-1 (7 overs)  Edwards continues to steam in and Anderson fends a short delivery with an open face straight to Hinds at third slip - but he shells it! That's stumps and England finish day three 312 runs ahead with nine wickets intact.



    21:15: Eng 27-1 (5 overs) WICKET! Usually at this time of day, the Barmy Army are in good song thanks two or three kegs worth of Loud Mouth Soup and a big cheer goes up as a Fidel Edwards bouncer goes for five wides down the leg-side. Strauss is lucky when a top edged hook falls just short of long leg but departs when

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  • Humiliation in Jamaica

    19:35: England 51 (33.2 overs): WICKETS! Flintoff has no confidence in his mate Harmison and in attempting to play the big shot and drag Edwards over mid-wicket, he loses his middle stump. Benn then bowls Harmison around his legs and it is all over - England humbled by an innings and 23 runs inside four days. That is England's third lowest total of all-time. Humiliation is the only word.


    19:30: England 50-8 (33 overs): WICKET! Sidebottom goes lbw to Benn. He tries to pull the slow left-armer through mid-wicket, misses and is caught deep in the crease and

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  • Levi ton leads England to victory

    3.44PM: England 289-4 (88 overs) - ENGLAND WIN BY SIX WICKETS - In the end Collingwood finishes it with a flurry in the final over before tea with three boundaries on the on-side through Oram. A great recovery from the hosts and they head to Trent Bridge 1-0 up in the three-match series. Join Cow Corner tomorrow for all the fallout from the Test.

    andynpeters wins the key ring by having absolutely no faith in Vettori. E-mail with your details.


    3.25PM:  England 277-4 (83 overs) - Vettori drops short and Bell, who must have a

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  • India beat rain to clinch ODI series

    So, the tourists' miserable trip continues. Their quest to salvage some pride in this series starts on Wednesday. With India in this kind of form, perhaps hopes shouldn't be raised too high though. Be sure to join Cowers to see how it all pans out in Cuttack.

    England 178-8 (21.5 overs) England need 20 to win D/L: WICKET! Collingwood goes for maximum and is caught by Sachin Tendulkar at mid-wicket. Stuart Broad strolls out for a swing and a miss and INDIA WIN BY 19 RUNS TO CLINCH THE SERIES! 


    Match gallery

    England 178-7 (21.4 overs) England need 20 to win D/L: WICKET! Patel collects

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  • The Dull Monty

    Is anyone other than Cowers getting a bit tired of the whole Monty Panesar show?

    The Luton Bore took his own particular brand of crazed appealing to a new level in the first Test at Lord's, begging to the umpire like a four-year old desperate to go pee-pee.

    Now Monty claims his rabid-eyed, maniacal arm-flailing is down simply to his "love of the game". Nothing to do with a breath-taking ignorance of the basics of the LBW law, then?

    At this point, Cowers is prepared to admit to possessing a decent level of dislike for Panesar, stemming from an interview he did with him last winter.


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