Cow Corner

  • One-Test wonders

    Who is the only Test opener never to have been dismissed? Cow Corner takes a look at some of the most celebrated one-Test wonders following the much-maligned decision to debut Darren Pattinson.

    Andrew Lloyd

    Anyone who has come up against this classic quiz question will know that the answer is Andy Lloyd, who played one Test for England in 1984 against West Indies.

    If anyone thinks that roofer Pattinson's first match was unfortunate, know that Lloyd was struck on the head by none other than pace legend Malcolm Marshall after making 10 runs in 33 minutes and, despite wearing "a flimsy, early

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  • England feast on pudding pitch

    Antigua, Colombo, the Riverside: Chester-le-Street may not conjure up images of batsmen desperate to fill their boots, but England exploited a pudding pitch to gain the upper hand in the second Test.

    When Jerome Taylor roared in and bowled the opening ball of the match, there was a look of dismay written across the paceman's face as he trudged back to his mark.

    Andrew Strauss could barely veil a smug smile as the ball dribbled pathetically through to Denesh Ramdin, who looked aghast to see the ball bounce in front of him.

    As two further short-of-a-length deliveries threatened to carry through

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  • Watch your back, Ryan

    Yorkshire do not have a County Championship game this week which gives Tim Bresnan some more valuable time to stick pins in his Ryan Sidebottom voodoo doll.

    Bresnan was the fall guy when England named their 15-man squad for the £11.5m Stanford Super Series in the Caribbean with Sidebottom guaranteed a yacht, sorry a place, as long as he proves his fitness after injury.

    With about £150,000 guaranteed for the four blokes who don't even make the final XI, you wouldn't blame Bresnan on getting some hired goons to "do" Ryan. We're not encouraging violence - merely asking Ryan to carry an Ikea

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  • Albion Knight Riders

    Matthew Hoggard, Owais Shah, Rob Key and Graeme Swann are among the old heads in a rather arthritic-looking pride of England Lions announced yesterday.

    Until last year, the Lions were known as England A, which is, Cowers will admit, a strange name for a B team.

    But at least it had a certain integrity to it. You knew where you were with England A. It was Ilott and Udal, Gallian and Wells. Good, honest players, but men whose own grandmothers knew they would never cut it in the full Test team.

    Now the team sounds like a rubbish IPL franchise. If you're going to go for a rebranding exercise, you

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  • Wisden Trophy hanging by a thread

    21:30 - Eng 80-3 (15 overs) - WICKET! Cook edges Hinds through to Ramdin and he refers but no let-off and England lose a third wicket. An express spell from Edwards has Pietersen hopping all over the place. KP edges the last delivery of the day to the leg-side boundary and England have it all to do on the last day of the series. See you tomorrow.


    21:15 - Eng 71-2 (13 overs) - Pietersen down on one knee and he
    sweeps Hinds into the crowd at mid-wicket for six. 27 off 20 balls,
    he's lapped and given England half a glimmer. The run rate is five and
    a half an hour. 

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  • Swann puts England on top

    21:30: Eng 31-1 (7 overs)  Edwards continues to steam in and Anderson fends a short delivery with an open face straight to Hinds at third slip - but he shells it! That's stumps and England finish day three 312 runs ahead with nine wickets intact.



    21:15: Eng 27-1 (5 overs) WICKET! Usually at this time of day, the Barmy Army are in good song thanks two or three kegs worth of Loud Mouth Soup and a big cheer goes up as a Fidel Edwards bouncer goes for five wides down the leg-side. Strauss is lucky when a top edged hook falls just short of long leg but departs when

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  • Humiliation in Jamaica

    19:35: England 51 (33.2 overs): WICKETS! Flintoff has no confidence in his mate Harmison and in attempting to play the big shot and drag Edwards over mid-wicket, he loses his middle stump. Benn then bowls Harmison around his legs and it is all over - England humbled by an innings and 23 runs inside four days. That is England's third lowest total of all-time. Humiliation is the only word.


    19:30: England 50-8 (33 overs): WICKET! Sidebottom goes lbw to Benn. He tries to pull the slow left-armer through mid-wicket, misses and is caught deep in the crease and

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  • Levi ton leads England to victory

    3.44PM: England 289-4 (88 overs) - ENGLAND WIN BY SIX WICKETS - In the end Collingwood finishes it with a flurry in the final over before tea with three boundaries on the on-side through Oram. A great recovery from the hosts and they head to Trent Bridge 1-0 up in the three-match series. Join Cow Corner tomorrow for all the fallout from the Test.

    andynpeters wins the key ring by having absolutely no faith in Vettori. E-mail with your details.


    3.25PM:  England 277-4 (83 overs) - Vettori drops short and Bell, who must have a

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  • India beat rain to clinch ODI series

    So, the tourists' miserable trip continues. Their quest to salvage some pride in this series starts on Wednesday. With India in this kind of form, perhaps hopes shouldn't be raised too high though. Be sure to join Cowers to see how it all pans out in Cuttack.

    England 178-8 (21.5 overs) England need 20 to win D/L: WICKET! Collingwood goes for maximum and is caught by Sachin Tendulkar at mid-wicket. Stuart Broad strolls out for a swing and a miss and INDIA WIN BY 19 RUNS TO CLINCH THE SERIES! 


    Match gallery

    England 178-7 (21.4 overs) England need 20 to win D/L: WICKET! Patel collects

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  • Yes, No, Maybe, Wait….Yes!!!

    Since England left India on November 27 in the wake of the Mumbai terrorist attacks, myriad so-called experts have voiced their opinion on whether Kevin Pietersen's team should return.

    Until now, Cow refused to be drawn into the debate, but the decision to return for the Test series has left a nasty taste in the mouth - the nasty taste of 4am in morning after a heady night before.

    You see Wednesday is the night of Cow's annual Christmas party, the solitary occasion on the calendar where Cow mixes with the underclass. Early Doors will be there, Jim White will be there. Even Paul Parker will be

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