Cow Corner

  • Memories of 1998

    When England walk out at Sabina Park on Wednesday they will be hoping for a better pitch than met the tourists ten years ago.

    As Mike Atherton and Alec Stewart strode out in Kingston, Jamaica on Thursday January 29 1998 they soon realised they faced what a club cricketer of a certain mediocrity sees every Saturday.

    We all know the first XI and the seconds - you know the guys with that annoying mix of youth, keenness and talent - get to play on manicured strips prepared by some old boy from the club who has been cutting the pitch since before the War (often Boer).

    But if you ply your weekend

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  • Tests – just roobish

    Cow has just received an e-mail from Stephen Hawking with a complex formula along the lines of "low career strike rate leads to post-retirement vigilante statements in English Test batsmen".

    Sir Geoffrey Boycott, who once batted for 10 1/2 hours at Headingley against Australia and will never die of a stroke, now thinks five-day Tests should be abolished.

    Boycott said in his Daily Telegraph column: "Tests need a makeover. They should be played over four days with faster over-rates and more imagination. Bring in floodlights for overseas games and stop using dead pitches.

    "The upshot is that at a

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  • Blow selecta!

    Summer Sunday mornings were once an exciting time as you put Ceefax on at around 11am waiting for the latest England Test XI to be announced.

    In the days before Performance Squads, continuity and logic, virtually anyone who had made a 50 or taken a five-for in the previous two weeks in a Championship game was a maybe for the England team.

    This peaked in the great Ceefax summer of 1989 when in a six-match series against Australia, England picked 29 players!

    The likes of John Stephenson and Alan Igglesden made their one and only Test match appearances whilst Chris Tavare, Tim Robinson and 

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  • Honours even on day one

    22:20 - Eng 236-5 (88 overs): And that's all she wrote for a strange opening day in Jamaica that has seen Flintoff plod to 43 and 51 overs of spin bowling. Back at 2.45pm tomorrow for the next surreal installment, honours about even on day one.



    22:00 - Eng 227-5 (84 overs): Powell and Edwards will have the last seven overs of the day as the partnership approaches 50 without any real trouble. Freddie Snail Watch update: 35 off 120 balls. It's like watching Chris Tavare but effective. kestephenson - Chanderpaul is from Guyana and those black patches under his eyes are either

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  • Twenty20 goes retro

    Kellogg's claim their Corn Flakes are "The Original and Best," and that's fair enough for Cowers.

    A bowl of The Sunshine Breakfast is like a little bowl of paradise; golden flakes, fresh and crisp, made from the finest sun drenched maize. If they serve breakfast in Heaven, it would be a bowl of Corn Flakes.

    Compare that with the supermarket's own versions; bland, mis-shapen off-cuts of cardboard coloured in psychedelic yellow crayon; like a bowl of dead skin scrapped off the nether-regions of a leper.

    And when the original Twenty20 Cup returns to the county scene this week, only a certified

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  • The Dull Monty

    Is anyone other than Cowers getting a bit tired of the whole Monty Panesar show?

    The Luton Bore took his own particular brand of crazed appealing to a new level in the first Test at Lord's, begging to the umpire like a four-year old desperate to go pee-pee.

    Now Monty claims his rabid-eyed, maniacal arm-flailing is down simply to his "love of the game". Nothing to do with a breath-taking ignorance of the basics of the LBW law, then?

    At this point, Cowers is prepared to admit to possessing a decent level of dislike for Panesar, stemming from an interview he did with him last winter.


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  • Cow Corner’s day off

    Well, when Cow Corner says 'day off', it doesn't mean it has bunked off work to indulge in some wacky Ferris Bueller-style antics.

    No. Just that it is taking a day off saying anything amusing or perceptive. For it is slim pickings on the news front, what with the mini fallow period between Tests and the number of cricket column inches severely curtailed by 32-page Champions League supplements.

    Which is Cow Corner's way of saying that today's edition is shorter than a Tim Ambrose visit to the crease and about as funny as Monty Panesar doing a set at Jongleurs.

    It is the equivalent of a

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  • Cow Corner: Beef Jerky

    Great players don't make great coaches, they certainly don't make great pundits.

    Clive Lloyd was a legend but his monosyllabic stints in the commentary box have seen him consigned to the home of the non orator, the ICC match referees room, while in my opinion Viv Richards should stop using 'in my opinion' before every sentence.

    While some pundits are just plain bias - Richard Hadlee, Sunil Gavaskar and Aamir Sohail being the second, third and fourth worst culprits.

    But who is the worst you cry. It must be Sir (as he is legally obliged to be referred to at least nine times a day) Ian Botham.

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  • Wisden Trophy hanging by a thread

    21:30 - Eng 80-3 (15 overs) - WICKET! Cook edges Hinds through to Ramdin and he refers but no let-off and England lose a third wicket. An express spell from Edwards has Pietersen hopping all over the place. KP edges the last delivery of the day to the leg-side boundary and England have it all to do on the last day of the series. See you tomorrow.


    21:15 - Eng 71-2 (13 overs) - Pietersen down on one knee and he
    sweeps Hinds into the crowd at mid-wicket for six. 27 off 20 balls,
    he's lapped and given England half a glimmer. The run rate is five and
    a half an hour. 

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  • Well batted Skip

    7pm: NZ 40-0 (15 overs) -  Ambrose is having a stinker of a day and puts down a tough-ish catch down the leg-side as Redmond tickles Broad off his pads. England's misery is compounded as Vaughan goes down in instalments at mid-on and allows a How shot to go for four.

    That's stumps and with NZ trailing by just two runs, we have in effect a one-day club match. terrysmith2104 please e-mail with your postal details as you are a lip salve champion. We're back at 10am tomorrow and I think I have a signed book to giveaway.


    6.45pm: NZ

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