Sir Ian Botham's column normally appears in the Daily Mail. But on Monday morning, it went viral across the internet.
Yes, that's right: people across the world checked Twitter on Monday morning as they ate their breakfast, to be greeted by the rather disturbing close-up of a gentleman's manhood - along with the caption "What are you thinking... XX".
Botham maintains his account was hacked and immediately deleted the photo. Well, not quite immediately enough - as the image had been broadcast to the former England all-rounder's 310,000 followers, at least one of whom ignored the blood pouring out of their eyes long enough to press the 'Print Screen' button.
We're not going to point anyone who hasn't seen it towards the VERY graphic image - and good grief, if you haven't then we'd implore you not to search for it on the web. Some things, once seen, can never be unseen.
The reaction on Twitter was, however, both SFW and predictably hilarious.
Needless to say the great man tried to pass it off as the work of a hacker, suggesting that he'd quickly had to change his password:
That idea quickly got short shrift, of course.
— tehTrunk (@tehTrunk) August 18, 2014
Amazing how many hackers care more about posting pictures of genitals rather than stealing sensitive personal information. Hmmmm. — Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) August 18, 2014
Ian #Botham reminding us all just how quickly something can go from 'I know what's a good idea' to "IV BEEN HACKED, IV BEEN HACKED!!"
— tfBettsy1892 (@tfBettsy1892) August 18, 2014
This was beyond doubt the greatest debunking:
The main question about Ian Botham being hacked is how the hacker managed to convince him to pose like that while he took a picture. — Chris Brosnahan (@ChrisBrosnahan) August 18, 2014
Some suggested that there might be a way for Beefy to prove his innocence. But at what cost?
Predictably, however, the breakfast-time horror...
Please nobody tweet the Botham pic into my timeline. There's only so much I can deal with on a Monday... — Victoria Sadler (@VictoriaJSadler) August 18, 2014
Why is Ian Botham trending? *horrified face*
— Tim Peach (@TimPeachBBC) August 18, 2014
If you've not had your breakfast yet, whatever you do, DO NOT click on the Ian Botham trend. — Coral (@Coral) August 18, 2014
Saw the Botham pic. Praying for early onset dementia.
— CHRISunderscoreBRAIN (@Chris_Brain) August 18, 2014
Oh my god do not go looking for why Ian Botham is trending. I feel sick now — RachelCharltonDailey (@RachelCDailey) August 18, 2014
"What are you thinking", asks Ian Botham, seductively. "DEAR GOD! MY EYES! MY EYES!", replies a nation.
— Mr Wood (@woodo79) August 18, 2014
...quickly turned to laughs:
Ian Botham can certainly swing one off a good length judging by his recent Twitter pic. Mind you, Beefy's kit is a bit worn out these days.
— Rowan de Groen (@StuffedShoulder) August 18, 2014
Ian Botham should probably have worn a box. — Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) August 18, 2014
Will Botham's member go down in cricket history as one of the sport's best ever knob gags? Probably not.
Only matter of time until 'bowler's Holding the batsman's Willie' gag got updated. 'Botham's meaty c*ck' doesn't quite have same ring though
— Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) August 18, 2014
Maybe not as funny, but many are suggesting that this one will go down in history:
18/08/2014 10.13am. Drinking tea at my desk at home. Where were you when you saw *that* Botham pic? You'll remember it forever. — Rob Williams (@BobJWilliams) August 18, 2014
Of all the Tweets, though, this was Cow Corner's absolute favourite. Just to prove that some things are always more embarrassing than an accidental nudie picture:
Hardly the most embarrassing dick Ian Botham has appeared in a picture with: pic.twitter.com/cByDdvFtWw
— Ian Hyland (@HylandIan) August 18, 2014
UPDATE: As of 11am, Botham was sticking to his guns and thanking the 'hacker' for the boost to his Twitter following.
I would like to thank the hacker....I've just got 500 hits in 20mins !!
— Ian Botham (@BeefyBotham) August 18, 2014
Glad to see Botham was starting to see the funny side as well. As did another ex-England captain Michael Vaughan, who shared this picture on Instagram with the caption 'Hacker has got me as well....'
That pic won't mean much to those who've managed to avoid / resisted the temptation to search for the original photo. To anyone else, it's comedy genius.
- Ian Botham