4.50PM - SA 392-3 dec (167 overs) - Pietersen and Cook have an over of off-spin each, SA declare and that is it. A farcical end to proceedings. IT'S A DRAW. Stay tuned for the naming of the squad for Headingley and we'll back tomorrow for the fall-out before our steam train takes us to Leeds for Friday's second Test.
4.45PM - SA 390-3 (165 overs) - Amla cuts Collingwood to the boundary and that's his fifth century, coming off 231 balls. Shortly after the light is offered (even though it's not that dark) and the players go off. Handshakes all around and they think it's all over...but five minutes later the sun comes back out and the players return. Total nonsense.
4.30PM - SA 385-3 (164 overs) - Aaah a new ball for Broad and some runs at last as Amla cuts over cover for three to move into the nineties. Collingwood gets the new cherry at the other end and is slashed behind backward point by Amla for boundary number 15 of the day. C'mon toss it to Strauss for an over.
4.15PM - SA 372-3 (161 overs) - There's a chance that Monty could become the tenth Englishman to bowl 70 overs in a Test innings. However the other nine all took at least one wicket. Feel free to put the names in the comments box. Four maidens in a row since the sandwiches and this correspondent is harping back to the days when Graham Gooch did bowling impressions at the jacksie end of the fifth day to entertain the crowd.
3.40PM - SA 372-3 (157 overs) - That's tea. England name their side tonight for the second Test - will Freddie return, what about Simon Jones or even Steve Harmison. Who makes way - Collignwood, Broad!! Something to chew over at the adjournment.
3.30PM - SA 367-3 (154 overs) - Dropped! A flat footed drive outside off from Prince and Alastair Cook puts down a relatively simple catch, away to his right, in the gully. The bowler Broad, who had just gone around the wicket, puts his head in his hands as he is still wicketless. 18 wickets at 45 in his Test career so far, a batting all-rounder?
3.15PM - SA 362-3 (150 overs) - WICKET! That's an absolute beauty from Sidebottom, a late swinging yorker removes Kallis' off-peg. 72 wickets in his last 16 Tests over the last year and that's the reason why. Ashwell Prince is off the mark with a slashing cut off the Robert Plant barnet-a-like. 36 overs left in the day.
3PM - SA 355-2 (146 overs) - g_hine - no we are not counting the boundary byes, my competition, my rules. The current total is 13 and I'll level with you, not much is happening.
2.45PM - SA 353-2 (143 overs) - South Africa lead and Monty has now bowled 52 overs. His fingers must be more tired than the bloke who used to operate Fingermouse. Ambrose has no chance with one that spits out of the rough and it's four byes to the total.
2.30PM - SA 343-2 (140 overs) - Like Guinness and Lucozade before him, maybe Jacques Kallis is trying to reinvent his image. For a bloke who averages 57, he is still widely regarded as not a great watch. But he has thrown his bat at Panesar and got a thick edge to the fence and then smashes the left-armer, one bounce, to cow corner for another boundary.
2.15PM - SA 330-2 (135 overs) - WICKET! Yes, not a typo a wicket. McKenzie's nine hour vigil comes to an end as he chases a wide, wide delivery from Anderson and gets a edge through to Tim Ambrose behind the stumps.
2PM - SA 327-1 (132 overs) - McKenzie's innings is now 545 minutes, making it the fourth longest in history at Lord's and Graeme Smith is on as a runner for him. He has managed to bore himself stiff and is well on course for the slowest double century in history. Amla cuts Panesar to the fence to keep the watching away from the razor blades.
1.45PM - SA 318-1 (128 overs) - Back after lunch and after we waved Mike Selvey into the ambulance, we noticed that Fred Flintoff blasted a rapid 39 in Lancashire's victory this morning. Second Test team to be named tonight!!!
Collingwood opens up after the pies and is driven down the ground by McKenzie while surf_jude is still the biggest loser we don't know.
1PM - SA 312-1 (127 overs) - A decent shout for lbw by Paul Collingwood - it would have grazed McKenzie's leg stump but Billy Bowden shakes his head and the toil goes on. Amla punches Panesar through the covers and that's lunch with just 70 runs scored in the session. CMJ has promised to brighten the mood at lunchtime by doing some amateur acupuncture on Mike Selvey - we're back in 40 minutes with the results.
12.45PM - SA 304-1 (123 overs) - We are well on course for the sixth consecutive draw at Lord's as Amla brings up his nine Test half-century by cutting a Sidebottom slower ball through the covers. The 100 partnership is up off 250 balls and we're reaching for the Valium at lunch.
12.30PM - SA 293-1 (118 overs) - Amla gets a thick outside edge as he slashes Panesar for a boundary past slip and then flicks Sidebottom past square leg - that's his favourite area. Monty is still bowling around the wicket into the rough to McKenzie and as he's not playing, it's as fruitless as an Asbo's diet.
mdmc_1 - you are too late, you cheat.
12.15PM - SA 282-1 (114 overs) - Panesar is back and bowling over the wicket which means more maidens than at a Swedish wedding fayre. McKenzie like Dr Kildare is renowned for his patience (you need to say that second hand gag out loud for it to work). Amla punches Broad through the covers for his sixth boundary.
Bradking News: It was Mohammad Asif who failed a random dope test during the IPL.
NOON - SA 272-1 (111 overs) - Monty is back on but still no breakthrough and we reach drinks with South Africa trailing by just 74 runs. The satchel swingers have the draw at 1/20 which is not exactly yacht buying odds. The competition is closed!!
11.45AM - SA 264-1 (107 overs) - Michael Vaughan must have been reading Douglas Jardine's memoirs last night as he employs a leg-side theory to Amla. On the Janette Krankie basis (he doesn't fancy the short one), Anderson offers an over of short deliveries from over and around the wicket into the ribs with six fielders on the leg-side. Meanwhile Stuart Broad is on for Sidebottom and is steered to third man by McKenzie.
11.30AM - SA 258-1 (104 overs) - There's many things we've enjoyed about this McKenzie innings. The stoic batting, the low-key celebration when he got his ton and the regular cutaways to his wife, one of the most famous South African models, Kerry McGregor. Amla flicks Anderson for another boundary past square leg prompting the TV cameraman to focus on a nine-year-old boy who looks just like Andrei Arshavin.
11.15AM - SA 250-1 (100 overs) - McKenzie drives Panesar through the covers and that's enough for Michael Vaughan to take him out of the attack. Ryan Sidebottom and Anderson in tandem and the latter is flicked to the fence by Hashim Amla.
BTW - We've got any size fleece you want as long as it's large.
11AM- SA 242-1 (96 overs) - The players take the field including strike bowler Ryan Sidebottom who is fit to bowl despite suffering from a stiff back. But it is Monty Panesar, the Sikh of Tweak, who starts from the Nursery End to the staunch Neil McKenzie.
10.50AM- Pitch report - flat, flat, flat!! The bowlers will have to work hard on this 'un. There may be a touch of variable bounce but we say that whilst clutching at this big pile of straws next to me.
10.40AM - El Nino means it could be pouring hard tomorrow so we're giving away a Yahoo! fleece today just in case. Just tell me how boundary fours will be scored in the today. Competition closes at Noon.
10.30AM - Morning everybody. It's a bright, sunny day at Lord's and rather warm. We would recommend factor 15. England need nine wickets, South Africa need to keep batting, it's all to play for.