Cow Corner has returned from pasture to madness in the England ranks. According to conflicting reports, Peter Moores has either resigned as England coach or not resigned. Kevin Pietersen has either resigned as England captain, or not resigned.
The truth will out, but Cow hopes both do the decent thing and the humiliated ECB accept their resignations with glee. If either man stays England's hopes of winning the 2009 Ashes are dead in the water.
While Pietersen's credentials as a driven winner are not in question, his capacity to negotiate the choppy waters of cricketing diplomacy has been proved seriously flawed in this bizarre episode.
KP was rightly smarting from Test and one-day defeats in India, but his move to launch a one-man coup against the forlorn Moores was spectacularly ill-advised and indicative of an immaturity which makes England's best player their worst choice as captain.
Pietersen was obviously frustrated, but success as an international captain hinges on the ability to channel frustration and not make rash decisions under pressure. England need a calming and galvanising influence at the helm if they are to seriously test Australia in the summer, and KP is clearly not the man for the job.
Cow, like most sensible cricket followers, is backing Andrew Strauss to take over as captain, with KP freed from the complications of the role to do what he does best - before the responsibility inevitably begins to shackle his batting.
As for Moores, taking over from Duncan Fletcher was never going to be an easy task. The former Sussex coach is clearly well respected within the game, but his inability to inspire the current crop of England players is evident from the lack of numbers coming forward in his defence following a very public bust-up with his captain.
Perhaps his lack of international playing experience is to blame; perhaps he is simply not a big enough personality to play overlord to a team with Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff at its axis. Either way, Moores's association with England appears certain to end with this debacle.
The ECB may defend Moores initially, but Pietersen's standing as the superstar elect of English cricket dictates only one reasonable course of action. Moores will go and KP will step down from the captaincy.
As Simon Barnes wrote in The Times on Tuesday, this ridiculous affair represents a new dawn in sport - where player power has elevated to a point where a captain can fire his coach.
Peter Moores's record as England coach:
One-day internationals: 36 Matches - 14 wins, 18 defeats, 1 tie, 3 No-result
Test matches: 22 matches - 8 wins, 6 defeats, 8 draws
Twenty20 record (not including Stanford matches): 10 matches - 5 Wins, 5 Defeats
- Kevin Pietersen