What is there to say about last night's Montenegro-England game, really?
England? Good first half, atrocious second half.
Montenegro? The reverse.
Stand-out performers? Only one.
Yes, it's the man who inspired Montenegro's comeback. Not half-time sub and goalscorer Dejan Damjanovic, or captain Mirko Vucinic.
No, it was the gravelly-voiced stadium announcer who presumably defied any number of FIFA directives to bellow encouragement to the home team throughout the second half.
Among his chants were the delightful 'Kill these English' and 'F*** you England', but we can't hold that against him.
What sporting event hasn't been enlivened by some fan booming out threats over the public address system?
Due to rights issues, Early Doors can't play you a clip of his work - but here are 11 other people to whom it saw the great man compared last night.
With thanks to the following Twitter heroes: @FootballCliches, @sarahrich77, @CarolineCheese, @tonguetweets, @AlastairBe, @leighton_T, @perfectpunter, @chloeingram, @PaulSandars, @displaycopyonly, @GalactusHelmet
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Trash-talking Montenegro coach Branko Brnovic: "Frankly, I was slightly provoked before the game with some statements I'd heard. But I must say we have been lucky enough to play England three times and we've not been defeated. To fight with them, and to fight for first place, is something that not many people expected."
And you can always rely on Roy Keane: "That is where England let you down, you don't get a complete performance and they don't have that killer instinct. We saw that in the game. I'd love to know what happened at half-time as they were shocking in terms of concentration. You kill the game off by getting a second and third goal, that is what the top teams do. I can't believe how bad England were in the second half."
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FOREIGN VIEW: France coach Didier Deschamps defended his team selection after Les Bleus slumped to a 1-0 home defeat by world champions Spain in World Cup qualifying Group I.
Deschamps kept faith with Karim Benzema, who had not scored in 11 games, but the Real Madrid striker passed 1,000 minutes without an international goal in another disappointing performance.
"It's a debate. He did good things even if obviously he did not find the back of the net," Deschamps said.
"But his team-mates managed to find him and he took part in the construction of the game."
Benzema, however, was booed off the pitch when he was replaced in the 82nd minute by midfielder Moussa Sissoko and Arsenal striker Olivier Giroud had to wait until stoppage time before coming on.
"It's a choice. The fact that we were down to 10 men and that Yohan Cabaye had been replaced already was a factor. We needed some balance, that's why I waited," said Deschamps.
- Sports & Recreation