Below is a list of headlines from this website about Joey Barton. Early Doors has left in anything relating to on-the-pitch activities, removing only platitudinous quotes pieces or baseless transfer speculation.
The words 'repeat offender' spring to mind.
Jul 2005 - Barton sent home from Tour
Sep 2005 - Barton equaliser denies United
Jan 2006 - City reject Barton transfer request
Jul 2006 - Barton happy to stay at City
Sep 2006 - Barton in trouble again
Oct 2006 - No punishment for Barton
Oct 2006 - FA not over Barton's moon
Oct 2006 - Barton admits FA charge
Oct 2006 - Barton escapes suspension
Dec 2006 - McClaren opens door to Barton
Dec 2006 - Pearce: Barton's grown up
Dec 2006 - Barton and Konchesky appeal
Dec 2006 - Barton and Konchesky appeals fail
Jan 2007 - Barton arrested
Jan 2007 - Lampard unhappy with Barton barbs
Feb 2007 - Gerrard hails gobby Barton
Feb 2007 - Barton facing charge
Feb 2007 - Pearce slams Barton witch-hunt
Feb 2007 - Harry points finger at Barton
Mar 2007 - England drop Barton and Barry
Apr 2007 - Barton blasts City
May 2007- City suspend Barton
May 2007- Dabo could sue Barton
May 2007 - Police to investigate Barton attack
May 2007 - Team-mate raps "coward" Barton
May 2007 - Police to interview Barton
May 2007 - Barton arrested over bust-up
May 2007 - Barton launches counter-claim
Jun 2007 - City accept Newcastle Barton offer
Jun 2007 - Allardyce: I'll bury Barton's bad side
Jun 2007 - Big Sam fury over Barton hitch
Jun 2007 - Barton completes Newcastle move
Jun 2007 - Rozehnal to give Barton wide berth
Jun 2007 - Barton slates Pearce
Jul 2007 - Barton to miss start of season
Aug 2007 - Barton charged with assault
Aug 2007 - Barton denies Dabo assault
Aug 2007 - Barton pleads not guilty
Oct 2007 - Barton makes Newcastle return
Oct 2007 - Barton not bothered by England
Nov 2007 - FA to examine Barton tackle
Nov 2007 - Barton evades punishment
Nov 2007 - Barton appears in court
Dec 2007 - Barton unafraid of prison
Dec 2007 - Barton retracts fan slam
Dec 2007 - Barton stuns Fulham
Dec 2007 - Barton in police custody
Dec 2007 - Big Sam "let down" by Barton
Jan 2008 - Barton to remain in custody
Jan 2008 - Barton granted bail
Jan 2008 - Barton returns to training
Jan 2008 - Barton bailed again
Jan 2008 - King Kev backs troubled Barton
Feb 2008 - Barton in more hot water
Feb 2008 - Barton faces no further action
Mar 2008 - Barton ban upheld
Mar 2008 - Barton makes court appearance
May 2008 - Barton jailed for six months
May 2008 - Barton cleared of criminal damage
Jun 2008 - Newcastle consider Barton future
Jun 2008 - Barton pleads guilty to Dabo assault
ED particularly enjoys the fact that no fewer than three managers have backed themselves to reform Barton, as though the proverbial kick up the backside or arm round the shoulder were going to make any difference.
Clearly, Barton is no more a professional footballer than Amy Winehouse is a singer or Paris Hilton an actress.
His appeal to the general public lies in the fact that: a) We've heard of him, and b) He's always getting into trouble. Always.
His misdemeanours have gone from the cheeky (mooning Everton fans, slagging off Frank Lampard, er, stubbing a cigar out in somebody's eye) to the criminal.
He obviously needs sustained professional help away from the limelight, and the best way for that to happen would be for Newcastle to end his contract.
Then hypocrites like ED might stop pretending to care about Joey Barton's welfare while giving his massive piles of dirty laundry a public airing.
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It's not necessarily the kind of reaction you're looking for when you spend £7m on a new midfielder, but dannydwilton's comment at the bottom of this website's "Deco signs for Chelsea" article neatly sums up the fans' view from Stamford Bridge.
"Holy ****!!! This is terrible!! Lampard's definitely going to leave us now!! We've brought a second rate granddad!!! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!!!"
In the publicity shots of an increasingly rotund Peter Kenyon greeting the new acquisition, Chelsea might as well have replaced Deco with a big sign saying "Goodbye Frank".
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Nothing summed up Andy Murray's stubborn refusal to fit the 'Great British Hope' stereotype better than his post-match press conference last night.
Murray sent Centre Court out of its usually genteel mind with a brilliant win in the dark against Richard Gasquet - a good way to enforce your home advantage; maybe if England had switched off the floodlights at 2-2 against Croatia they might have been playing some football last month.
Then he blew it by facing the media with a plate of sushi, which he proceeded to demolish with a pair of chopsticks.
Of all the ways to slap Middle England in the face.. do you know what kind of muck they put in sushi? It's raw fish, you know.
If that were Tim Henman, he'd be there with fish and chips wrapped up in a copy of the Daily Mail, gamely fielding questions about Agincourt.
But here was Murray with his crazy hair, foreign food and dodgy accent, using words like "awesome". Even Greg Rusedski pretended to be posh, but it seems Murray just won't conform. Ungrateful so-and-so.
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VILLAIN OF THE DAY: If you had lost as many finals as Michael Ballack, you'd think you would have learned to be a good loser. Apparently not, as Ballack refused to hold up a banner thanking Germany fans for their support at Euro 2008, apparently on the basis that they were tacky.
Team manager Oliver Bierhoff said: "We had a strong and emotional discussion. The German Federation wanted the team to pay tribute to our supporters. Michael didn't like the banners and thought they were inappropriate."
FOREIGN VIEW: "National Party!" screams Marca - sounds like a Chevy Chase film or a far-right political movement. Nobody has told Catalan daily Sport, whose website leads with a story on Ronaldinho, who attempts to allay fears over his attitude by appearing to say that he has always been unprofessional, so don't worry.
jilly_marsh on Euro 2008: "Thank god it's over. Now I can watch some proper TV." Not if Andy Murray has anything to do with it.
moody_tariq asks how ED fared in its Fantasy Euro game. Fourth in its nine-team superleague, since you ask. It was gunning for a top-two finish before a catastrophic decision to select the entire German 11 for the final.
yorgos_tm points out that apparently England haven't won anything for a while: "I can't believe it......what kind of STUPIDIOTS are writing those miserable and real rubbish articles? but I suppose there are lots of people out there happily reading it I guess.....and it's so evident the eternal envy towards the german team and the frustration is 100% understandable of course...HEY how many european or world tittles got the english team? ha ha hah ha ......that explain a big deal isn't it?" Stupidiots is a good word, though.
Today - What one transfer would you most like to see this summer?
- Joey Barton