Early Doors

King Kev’s YouTube revolution

Early Doors

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Kevin Keegan is £2 million richer after
winning his claim for constructive dismissal against Newcastle United.

It was, in truth, only a partial victory,
as the compensation was only a fraction of the £25m he wanted for 'stigma damages'
whatever they might be; Dennis Wise might have been unpleasant, but he didn't drive nails through King Kev's hands.

At least it is now a matter of
public record that the Toon signed a player they had only seen in video clips
on the internet. Although that is the method by which ED fully intends to
select its spouse.

"I resigned because I was
being asked to sanction the signing of a player in order to 'do a favour'
for two South American agents," said Keegan in a statement.

"No one at the club had seen
this player play and I was asked to sign him on the basis of some clips on YouTube.

"This is something that I
was not prepared to be associated with in any way. The club knew that I
objected strongly to this transfer and were aware that by continuing with it I
was likely to feel that I had no option but to resign. Notwithstanding this
they nevertheless went on to sign the player at very substantial cost to the

In Newcastle's
defence, any manager who can't tell
precisely how good Nacho Gonzlaez is based on this clip
clearly isn't worth his salt.

Additionally, ED is not sure
whether the club can be blamed for Keegan's
assertion that he has since: "Found it difficult, if not impossible, to
obtain work again as a top-flight manager."

That may have more to do with the
fact that Keegan would walk away from a steak as soon as it started to get

- - -

Maybe ED is being a bit sensitive, but did anyone else find it slightly
distasteful that Phil Brown compared his plight to that of a suicidal woman?

He and the Hull
squad encountered the woman while on a completely bonkers walk across the Humber bridge.

Brown chuckled: "She was
considering her future, shall we say, but you never know whether somebody is
just standing there until they jump. But there was no need to be up there
unless you were a football team looking for inspiration. Maybe she must have
seen us and thought 'at least it's not that bad'.
Well for me in particular - not the players.

"She was claiming she was
40-plus, but she looked a lot younger I tell you. Nobody said she was going to
jump. She was contemplating her future, but so was I. In the end she tootled
off back to wherever she had come from. I'd
sweet-talked her out of it."

Cracking anecdote. Unless, of
course, the poor lady tootled back to the bridge the following day and couldn't find any Premier League managers to talk sense
into her.

- - -

MYSTERY OF THE DAY: Harry Redknapp has been backed in from 50-1 to 2-1 to be
the next Premier League manager to leave his job.

Redknapp has called rumours of
his departure "absolute nonsense".

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Roy Keane responds to jibes from Dwight Yorke in typically
acerbic style: "I
don't agree with his criticism of my
style of management. I take on board those comments from people I respect, but
I don't have any respect for him. He
was quick to sign a new deal at Sunderland. He
should put that in his book."

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