Brian Burke speaks; Roberto Luongo hits the ice; season-ticket holder quits (Puck Headlines)

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Nope, still can’t compute. [Worley]

• Damien Cox gets the first sit down with Brian Burke after the Toronto Maple Leafs fired him, as he learns that Burke pulled his kids out of school the day he was canned; saw “Jack Reacher” the afternoon after his firing; and had a car window smashed after his dismissal. [Toronto Star]

• What are NHL teams offering their fans as a “we’re sorry” for the lockout? [Days of Y’Orr]

• Scott Niedermayer rejoins the Anaheim Ducks as the Obi-Wan to Cam Fowler. [Ducks Blog]

• The fate of the University of Alabama in Huntsville hockey team could be decided in a vote by the Western Collegiate Hockey Association during the annual NCAA Convention. [AL]

• Doc Emrick calling a 12-year-old girls hockey game is pretty awesome. [NBC]

• F.J. Corrigan is a Washington Capitals fan who blogs at The Peerless Prognosticator. It’s been hard to find any NHL fan that’s decided that the lockout killed their dedication to the League. But The Peerless is done with being a season ticket holder: “When the NHL locked out its players, it locked out its fans, too. The difference between one and the other is that the players will be back. And even though I suppose most fans will be back, I won’t be, not as a season ticket holder. One might argue that I’m turning my back on the NHL, but the fact is the league turned its back on me and thousands of other fans when it decided to go down this road one more time. I’m sick, I’m tired, and I’m done.” [Peerless]

• TSN’s power rankings are out. You know the Blue Jackets are No. 30. So who is No. 29? Hint: They’re moving to Brooklyn. [TSN]

• Vladimir Tarasenko is going to be a fun one to watch. [Game Time]

• And suddenly Nail Yakupov doesn’t know how to answer questions. [Edmonton Journal]

• Sean Pronger believes that his brother Chris Pronger has played his last NHL game. “I don’t think he’ll play again but what do I know.” [Deadspin]

• And speaking of Sean Pronger:

• Nicklas Backstrom says he does not have a concussion. [Washington Times]

• Troy Brouwer and Roman Hamrlik have cleared the air over their lockout NHLPA sparring: “We were just angry because the comments were ill timed and we thought it was going to set the process back quite a bit … making it seem like the union was segregated,” Brouwer said. “But it didn’t look like it mattered anyway. We still have to deal with each other on a day-to-day basis and right now there’s no ill feelings toward each other.” [WashPost]

• Wayne Simmonds is happy to be back with the Flyers. [CSN Philly]

• Down Goes Brown on the 48-game season: “About the only thing we do know is that a shorter season means more variance — the smaller sample size leaves more room for random chance to take over. In theory, that helps bad teams, since anything that works against true talent levels is good for teams who don’t have much. But those teams are already at a disadvantage because, well, they’re bad, and they should get blown out by good teams who won’t be tempted to take their foot off the accelerator this year.” [Grantland]

• Good recap of the Los Angeles Kings’ press conference from last night. [Jewels From the Crown]

• Dept. Of Self-Congratulatory Nonsense, Vol. 1: Congrats to the Y! Sports family for reclaiming the No. 1 spot from ESPN, and that’s without the NBC traffic factored in. [Forbes]

• Dept. Of Self-Congratulatory Nonsense, Vol. 2: A huge thanks to The Hockey News for again honoring myself and this blog with a spot on the People of Power and Influence list. They gave me the Gilmour! [THN]

• Strombone vs. The Iron Sheik. [Canucks Army]

• Finally, Roberto Luongo is still a Vancouver Canuck.

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