Hello, this is a feature that will run through the entire season and aims to recap the weekend’s events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact or stupid opinion about each team. Feel free to complain about it.
Wednesday is the NHL trade deadline, and it's become a bit of a long-running joke that even though TSN devotes hours of programming to it every year, nothing ever really happens. And for those enthusiasts of hockey reporters fiddling with their phones on national television, Wednesday is shaping up to be one for the ages.
Not that I won't watch every rotten second of it, but the amount any of us looking forward to this, on a scale of one to 10, is about negative 1 million.
The biggest problem, and we knew this would be the case all along, is that no one wants to commit to selling. The short schedule and the intraconference play have combined to make races look much tighter than they probably are in reality, and therefore the appetite of any team to start moving pieces that might give them the illusion of a competitive chance that, in reality, probably doesn't exist.
Take, for example, the fact that the Flyers are one of the worst teams in the NHL this season and are universally considered a disappointment, but at the same time are a mere four points back of the Rangers for eighth in the East. Even the Calgary Flames, who won't say what they've done to this point categorizes becoming sellers, are just six points back of St. Louis for the West's last playoff spot.
In reality, given the way intraconference play works and the seemingly absurd number of overtime games this season, four- and six-point leads are probably close to insurmountable unless a team goes on a Los Angeles Kings-type run in the final 12 or 15 games of the season. But even then, it would still take something of a miracle.
Nonetheless, the idea of being just two wins' worth of points at the deadline is going to be enough to stop most teams from throwing, "For sale, best offer," signs around the necks of their more movable assets and sticking them on the curb for passersby to gawk at. The perception, that is. Making it in after being four points back at the deadline has, in the past, been a more reasonable prospect because there was still usually a month-plus in the season. Now, there's less than that, and consequently being four back in 2013 might be closer to being six or eight back in previous years.
Plus, most of the teams that might be interested in selling under normal circumstances aren't this year, or have already started doing so. If all that Iginla drama had gone down a week later, for example, that's riveting stuff for the deadline desk boys to cover. But Iginla's moved already, and we've been told Martin St. Louis won't be available under any circumstances, which I'd imagine will become more common as the deadline approaches, rather than teams doing what Don Maloney did the other day and saying, "We'll listen to offers for anyone."
The reticence is at least understandable but it sure doesn't make for good television, and you have to assume that teams will be more apt to trade and trade for the Jordan Leopolds and Douglas Murrays of the world than the Iginlas and Jagrs.
Let's put it this way: It's starting to look more and more like the big trade deadline acquisition some team makes in an effort to bolster their chances of succeeding in the postseason is a guy who literally has zero goals this season.
Ryane Clowe's underlying numbers may indicate he should be doing far better than he is (his team's shooting percentage when he's on the ice is something like 6.5) but teams are going to line up around the block for him and he doesn't have one goal in 28 games.
It speaks to the madness of deadline day in general, at least on some level, that he'll be scooped up for a second-round pick or something, but this year especially it seems absolutely bonkers that any of it would happen. And by the way, even Clowe might be traded before then.
So please, just go to work instead of calling out sick. Don't feel the need to check Twitter constantly. The biggest thing you're going to miss is probably equivalent to Ryan O'Byrne getting moved for a fourth-rounder.
What We Learned
Anaheim Ducks: Bruce Boudreau on the Ducks beating the Sharks Friday night: "At least they know in their mind that when they put their mind to it, they're a good hockey team and that the first 22 wins weren't a fluke." I'm not sure that one win actually proves that, but sure.
Boston Bruins: The Bruins have two wins in their last seven games, including a meek effort against the shorthanded Flyers on Saturday afternoon. Claude Julien on if the team is waiting for someone to arrive via trade and boost their chances: "If we're looking for help, we're looking in the wrong direction." Ouch.
Buffalo Sabres: This is, I swear to you, the second goal by Ville Leino in an actual game against a real NHL team. The Sabres lost anyway, but y'know.