The Rundown

10 of the best Zlatanisms

The Rundown

After Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s quip to Anderlecht midfielder Sacha Kljestan about his terrible facial hair, we recount some of the Swede’s most memorable quotes.

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Zlatan is the toast of Paris, and is handsomely remunerated for his considerable talents. That remuneration is so plentiful in fact he decided on his arrival in the French capital that if he didn’t find an apartment to his suiting then he’d simply upgrade.

"We are looking for an apartment (in Paris), if we do not find anything, then we will just buy a hotel."

Zlatan is not shy in sharing the spoils of his lavish life but it has not always been plain sailing for the star forward. His days at Barcelona were not as successful as they could have been. However, it was not Zlatan’s fault, you see?

"You (Barcelona) bought a Ferrari but you drive it like a Fiat."

All-round-generally-revered-good-bloke Pep Guardiola played his part in the Swede's struggles in Catalonia:

"Guardiola was staring at me and I lost it. I thought 'there is my enemy, scratching his bald head!'. I yelled to him: 'You have no balls!' and probably worse things than that."

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Zlatan knows how to celebrate after a big win but, if it goes too far, then it is probably someone else’s fault. Take for example his explanation after his boisterous celebrations following Juventus’s 2005 Scudetto win. He is no snitch though.

“It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.”

This confidence was a birthright, it appears. Even at 17 he was full of assuredness:

“Arsene Wenger asked me to have a trial with Arsenal when I was 17. I turned it down. Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.”

The good man knows his importance to any team and when he is missed, he is missed:

“An injured Zlatan is a pretty serious thing for any team.”

When asked by a female reporter whether he was gay after a slightly compromising photo of himself and Gerard Pique embracing spread across the internet the response was as rapid as it was brutal:

“Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I’ll show you who’s gay!”

Reporters have often been the focus of his ire and when one reporter curiously asked the Swede why he had scratches and scars on his face, he was again merciless.

"Well...I don't know... you'll have to ask your wife about that."

On Lionel Messi, who is largely recognised as the best player in the world – maybe even the best player ever.

“He’s brilliant, but now I had arrived [at Barca] and scored more goals than him.”

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Maybe he is better than Victor Valdes, too:

"I can play in the 11 positions because a good player can play anywhere on the pitch."

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