Four of England's most inspiring players have been commemorated in an eye-catching 'Mount Rushmore'-style garden feature.
There's just one teensy problem: it's more or less impossible to tell who's who.
The rockery was created by 'artist' Aden Hynes, who was commissioned to produce it by the National Lottery - which they're apparently simply calling 'Lotto' these days - to tie in with a new survey to name England's most inspirational players of the last 25 years. With sport and gardening topping the poll of people's passions, the Lottery's PR people decided to try and combine the two as part of their 'what would you do' campaign.
David Beckham topped the survey with 32 per cent of the vote, and is easy enough to identify if only by the distinctive quiff which he sported in the free-kick-against-Greece era.
But the others? Even their mothers wouldn't recognise them from these woeful likenesses, so we'll just come out and tell you that they are Paul Gascogine (25 per cent, second from right), Wayne Rooney (18 per cent, between Beckham and Gazza) and Stuart Pearce (13 per cent of the vote, on the far right). Alan Shearer was next in the poll, and we can't help feeling that it was a lucky escape for the Geordie striker to have avoided this particular artistic tribute.
The 1.5m wide, 1m high sculpture is made out of fibreglass and concrete and weighs around 60kg - but the crowning glory of the piece is the water feature incorporated into Gazza's face to make him cry proper tears in full-on World Cup 1990 mode.
The bizarre garden feature isn't for sale, but you can win it via a competition on the Lottery's Facebook page by telling organisers what you'd do if you won the lottery.
We can't help feeling they've missed a trick with that competition, though: considering that Rooney looks like the third Kray brother, Gazza appears to have just sat on a cattle prod and Stuart Pearce looks like a moody David Cameron wearing a Chris Tarrant wig, the competition ought to have been about guessing the players' identities.
As for Hynes, we'd respectfully suggest that should he ever win the lottery himself a series of sculpture refresher lessons might not be a bad idea to spend some of the cash...
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