Some stories are so strange, you don't even know where to start telling it. So let's start with the simple facts: Cleveland Browns suspended NFL superstar Josh Gordon will work as a car salesman this season.
ESPN reported that Gordon, who is suspended all season due to a failed marijuana test, will start working as the "goodwill ambassador" for the Sarchione Auto Group in Ohio, and part of his duties will be as an on-floor salesman.
That's in addition to the fact that he'll miss out on his entire basic salary of $1.3m (£800,000), which of course is only a small part of what he earns when endorsements and sponsorships are factored in.
Gordon signed a $5m four-year contract with a signing bonus of $2.3m with the Browns.
While the Browns will be in Pittsburgh for their opener on Sunday, Gordon will be starting his new gig, which will also involve "heading all of their local community efforts."
Hey, how many times are you going to get pitched a Ford Taurus from an NFL superstar?
What's next? Luis Suarez working as a travel agent while he serves his biting ban? Or if disgraced sprinter Dwain Chambers had been forced to hand out charity leaflets on Oxford Street all day every day?
Gordon thought about playing in a different league this season, but the Browns wouldn't let him out of his contract to do that.
According to ESPN's report, Gordon "will be heading all of Sarchione's local community efforts, including with the Wounded Warrior Project."
Hey, maybe it will be good for him to have a "real" job, to appreciate what he's missing in the NFL lifestyle.
The first time a customer tries getting Gordon to drop down the price on that 2003 used Range Rover, or at least throw in some new floormats, he'll miss having someone tending to his every need in an opulent locker room, picking up anything he might drop behind him.
We'll see how long Gordon sticks to his new job. Maybe he'll embrace it and turn into one of those kooky characters we see on local television commercials peddling cars at all hours of the night riding an elephant or whatnot.
Whatever happens, it's certainly one of the more remarkable and potentially groundbreaking sporting stories. Let's hope this spreads to other sports.
Fans would surely be delighted to welcome this kind of punishment into the sports they follow - because there's nothing better than seeing diva superstars being made to live like the rest of us, albeit fleetingly.
- Sports & Recreation
- Josh Gordon
- Cleveland Browns