• England Message Board

  • Matthew Shahi Kiliswa Matthew Shahi Kiliswa Jul 9, 2006 22:36 Flag

    Let’s all laugh at England: Ha ha ha!

    By Tom Osanjo in London

    Life has never been this good! There can hardly have been a better moment at this year’s World Cup than when the English hooligans were bundled out of the World Cup.

    When a few months ago, I wrote in these pages that English football is a crossbreed between athletics and wrestling, some bloodthirsty characters in the Fan-atics demanded my head for breakfast.

    But here I am having the last laugh and right in the streets of London!

    I repeat — those purporting to support English football know nothing about football and are miserable victims of a glib English marketing machine and an idolising lot of journalists on Fleet Street.

    Anybody doubting this should just review the disastrous English campaign in Germany. What a splendid sight that was when England went on their penalty-losing streak!

    True to form, the English Press is back at doing what they know best — finding a pantomime fugitive to blame for their debacle in Germany.

    Since Saturday, I have developed a new hobby — walking near lamenting English fans in London and giving a sympathetic ear to tall tales like how Wayne Rooney would have saved the day had he not been sent off. Then I hide in a corner and laugh my head off.

    If you pick up an English newspaper today, you would think Cristiano Ronaldo is Lucifer’s younger brother. The Man U player’s offence? That he allegedly egged on the ref to send off the hopeless Rooney. He is further accused of having winked at his Portuguese team mates as Rooney was being booted out. Scarcely a mention of Rooney stomping on Carvalho.

    The truth of the matter is Rooney brought his misery upon himself. You do not take your low life attitude and discipline to the World Cup and expect the ref to smile everything away.

    On Tuesday, The Sun newspaper did try to take the spotlight away from Ronaldo and latched on the hapless Jamie Carragher.

    According to the paper, Carragher, whose penalty had to be retaken against Portugal, explained why he took the first spotkick before the ref blew his whistle thus: "I didn’t know we had to wait for the ref’s whistle. Leaves one wondering whether our good old Jamie was waiting for a cow’s moo or a cat’s meow before kicking the ball. Appropriately, England’s fitness coach Ivan Carminati told him off."

    The assault on Carragher was an exception, however, as the English Press instead devoted acres of space calling Ronaldo all manner of names.

    "Diver, #$%$ ducker, cheat," the list stretches a mile.

    All sour grapes of course. What the English are forgetting is fact that England has won the Cup only once — way back in 1966 and the intervening years have just been filled with a litany of excuses and sideshows.

    An opportunity for such was presented on Friday during the match between France and Portugal.

    You would have been hard pressed to believe you were in London and not Paris!

    Every pub and public place had English supporters clustered lavishing praise on Zinedine Zidane and his team mates as if they were some long lost brothers. Happily for England, the French team bundled out Portugal, giving the English supporters and their journalists something to gloat over.

    Daily Sport had a huge picture of a sobbing Ronaldo with the banner headline ‘Tears of a Clown’.

    The reportage on the match was downright embarrassing:

    "Wretched Ronaldo and the Portuguese conmen were kicked where it hurts and out of the World Cup. Oh how sweet does that sound? The Man U diver played an absolute blinder and still finished up a loser — gets better and better, doesn’t it? It seems Ronaldo is the world’s most hated player after the Wayne Rooney affair and left the Munich stadium in tears — yes, sweeter and sweeter."

    SortNewest  |  Oldest  |  Most Replied Expand all replies