a bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices a rather dishy blonde behind him has jusr raised her hand and smiled hello to him. he is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and although familiar he cant place where he might know her from. So he says 'sorry do you know me?' she replies 'i may be mistaken but i thought u might the father of one of my children!' His mind shoots back to the one and only time he's been unfaithful. 'Christ' he says 'are you that stripogram on my stag night that i shagged on the snooker table in fron of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with celery and stuck a cucumber up my #$%$?' 'No' she replies coldy, 'im your sons english teacher.