Chelsea Message Board
reporter: Well, Jose, what went wrong?
jose: Well I am the special one, so I will tell you, what questions to ask. Ask me about my #$%$.
reporter: Ok Jose, how is your #$%$?
jose: She is fine. Right now, as I am very special, she is cooking me a very special meal, which I will enjoy, with a very special wine. Rafa will not enjoy, as he is not special. Only I am special.
reporter: Now tell us what went wrong in the match.
jose: Nothing went wrong. The best team lost. I do not like to criticise match officials, but all three, will be receiving death threats, very soon.
reporter: Okaaay….what did you think of those three spectacular goals by Steven Gerrard?
jose: They were nothing special. Gerrard was offside, not once, not twice, but three times. I do not criticize officials, but all three need their eyes tested.
reporter: Isn’t there a rule that says a player cannot be offside from within his own half?
jose: Who is the Special One?
reporter: You are.
jose: Then do not argue. I am so special I can change rules in the blink of an eye. See I blink and the rules are changed. Now I must go, my dinner is getting cold.
How long did it take you to think up that wit less #$%$?
I bet you sat in your room at mummy's house in your Y-fronts, laughing at your sad humourless ramblings until 4 in the morning!
Or were you fashioning a white cape and hood?
Not bad, but you must know Jose would never talk about his wife like that.
If you want funny caricature of Mourinho, nothing comes remotely close to this: