• Chelsea Message Board

  • A Yahoo! User Jan 14, 2008 10:47 Flag

    Well tie me kangaroo down sport ...

    What does monkee do for a living?

    He's not saying, it's a secret!

    Why? Who knows, maybe because he's embarrassed to be working in a call centre?

    But he'll give you some clues, and here they are ...

    "My job is fairly unique as it involves waiting for various situations to occur. If they don't I pass my time playing on here. That isn't sad, it gives me something to do in between jobs . I can be away for minutes, days or not at all, depending on circumstances. I always am near a PC unless the situation requires me to act suddenly."

    "I am employed but manage myself and work in a small team of 8, and am judged not on results, but have to be effective as more of a deterant than anything else."

    "Sometimes I dress similar to others. Sometimes casual."

    "My work is such that I do I am in a security enviorment, and I protect people"

    "I have reallly given you the amount of clues that I can. All I can say is I really enjoy my job, it's part of my life now. Alot of people on here have taken the piss, but I have never said what I do so I find that amusing. Some speculate, but apart from my friends.,no one really knows. all I will say is that I work in a security situations, where I protect people. Thats all I say. I did the same job in Coventry, and it was rough down there, but in Brum its not so bad. less to do, and the people arn't so tough.Thats what I think anyway., I enjoy it and it pays very very good. If people think its a wind up. ok. i don't care, cos tomorrow I will be doing it again"

    Now, at this point you would think there were no more clues, but the people he was bullshitting to didn't get it, so he continues ...

    "I'm not gay, I have 4 children , 2 American bulldogs, and 1 wife, and two cars. I would have created a biological miracle if I had got that many kid's by... how shall I put this, batting for the other team...!!"

    "I'm not a bouncer, I protect people and sometimes property. Bouncers don't protect people, they throw people out of places and look intimidating. !! I can do that too, but usually, try to pass un noticed, unless asked to sort out a situation."

    "If I say a security official, that is near enough. Part of my work , er if you went to a event, you wouldn't notice me, but I would be in a suit with an earpiece, and looking for problems and reporting back. That isn't all I do, but some of it occasionally."

    "If you went to Australia, and went to a very large town with a male name,,,shorten the name of that town and what have you got ?"

    "Well tie me a kangeroo down sport ! kayleigh, as I said, I am not revealing, and won't, but...as I said to my Great Uncle Sidney...'You know Sid, you might just be right about Kayleigh, she's a bright girl, especially for a Geordie"

    So, have you guessed what he is?

    That's right he's a ...........

    ....... fucking liar!

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