• Aston Villa Message Board

  • whysoserious? whysoserious? Sep 8, 2010 13:31 Flag

    Not for Pussies

    Jokes That Will Definitely Offend!




    Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?.

    A: Not being retarded.

    __________________________________________________




    Q: What's blue and fucks old people?

    A: Hypothermia.

    __________________________________________________




    Q: What's the first thing a Woman does when She gets out of the battered Wives' shelter?

    A: The dishes, if She knows what's good for Her.

    __________________________________________________




    Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time.

    A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

    __________________________________________________




    Q: What is the definition of 'Making Love'?

    A: Something a Woman does while a Guy is fucking Her.

    __________________________________________________




    Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?

    A: Gonorrhea

    __________________________________________________




    Q: Why did God create yeast infections?

    A: So Women would know once in a while what it's like to live with an irritating Cunt too.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. Why do Fags like ribbed condoms?

    A. Better traction in the mud.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?

    A. Acne usually doesn't come on a Kid's face until He's at least 13 years old.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. How do You turn a fox into an elephant?

    A. Marry it.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?

    A. A Hooker can wash Her crack and sell it again.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. Why do Men pay more for car insurance?

    A. Because Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the difference between Mayonnaise & Semen?

    A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a Girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. Why do Women call it PMS?

    A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the height of conceit?

    A. Having an orgasm and calling out Your own name.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the definition of macho?

    A. Jogging home from Your own vasectomy.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. How can you tell if You're at a bulimic bachelor party?

    A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?

    A. Oral sex makes Your day, but, anal sex makes Your hole weak.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?

    A. You just know She's gonna swallow.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the difference between a Catholic Wife and a Jewish Wife?

    A. A Catholic Wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

    A. A Guy will actually search for a golf ball.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. How do You know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

    A. Look inside Your pants; if You have a penis, it's not time.

    __________________________________________________




    Q. Do you know how Red Necks practice safe sex?

    A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

    SortNewest  |  Oldest  |  Most Replied Expand all replies