• Aston Villa Message Board

  • Pikey Pikey Jun 30, 2011 22:02 Flag

    World Record

    On a lighter note...

    Aston Villa are planning to flex their muscles in the football world by breaking the world record for compensation in a five year period.

    Tired of living in the shadows of the likes of Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal, the Villains are half way through a five year plan to spend £20 million compensating other clubs, staff and coaches. Villa Chairman, Randy Lerner, is thought to be pleased with the club's progress after successfully dispensing with the services of Martin O'Neil and Gerard Houllier in the past year.

    However, a club insider told said that there are ambitious plans to take the club's compensation payments to unprecedented levels.

    "We have a five year plan and things are going well. We took Alex McLeish from under the noses of Birmingham City and that should cost us a good £5 million. We also plan to fire at least half a dozen more staff and sexually harass three, maybe four of the canteen girls."

    There seems to be exciting times ahead in Birmingham but the Villa board have no plans to slow down. It is understood that several illegal player approaches may be in the pipework, along with a sustained campaign of FA fines. We made an approach to the Villa board for a comment but were informed they plan to issue all further public statements through Facebook.

    And we have problems at Stans...


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