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  • Ms. Jack Jacob Baldy Dodge VD Ms. Jack Jacob Baldy Dodge VD Jan 28, 2013 04:36 Flag

    Gillian Brown, the Australian myth.

    Gillian Brown, shipwrecked in the South China Sea, plucked to safety by a passing Australian ship, just in the nick of time, and dropped off in Freemantle.

    She travelled Australia for twenty years, stopping off in Balmain to drop a kid, father unknown.

    After travelling up and down the Pacific highway for several years, she finally decided to stay in Urunga, where she helped her friends, (who no-one in Urunga has ever heard of), to build a house on the Pacific Highway that wasn't really on the Pacific Highway.

    Despite travelling between Urunga and Sydney several million times, she failed to notice that the capital, Canberra, was actually in the ACT, and not NSW.

    She also failed to realise that Newcastle, the second largest city in NSW after Sydney, wasn't in fact a small town with one road.

    She also failed to notice the 60kmh speed cameras as you enter Urunga from the South, (even though they are well signposted), as she had done millions of times, and couldn't understand why she kept getting speeding tickets.

    Her 'friends', meanwhile, were running the local bowls club, in spite of the fact that none of the members, or the man who thought he was running it, had ever heard of them.

    And if you believe all that, you'll believe she isn't a hopeless alcoholic!


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    • If I'd been shipwrecked in the pacific, picked up by a passing ship and dropped off in australia I'd write a best selling account of my adventures and live off the proceeds.

      I wouldnt end up as a glass collector in a notorious speakeasy for gay cowboys in some hillbilly town outside Denver!

      when you 'sup on suds' gilly is that a euphamism?

      • 1 Reply to Piggy
      • She probably got sick and sobered up for a few days, wondering where the last twenty years had gone, and guessed it must have been Australia because there were empty Fosters cans all over the floor.

        You notice she won't come in here and defend herself, how do you defend bullshit?

        "Perhaps you can tell me when Newcastle became a ' City'!"

        "Newcastle NSW is one road through it and out of it. Its a small town."

        "I built a house in Urunga Nsw. Pacific Highway"

        "Thats strange what happened to Canberra then ?"

        "My Australian daughter born in Balmain (I think thats Sydney - though I couldn't be sure)"

        "If you catch a Bondi Tram tomorrow morning"
        (There haven't been trams in Bondi since 1960!)

        Now she's under the delusion that I have a daughter in Urunga, where she got that from is beyond me, another of her alcoholic mists, I did mention once that I often drove THROUGH Urunga on my WAY to my daughter's house, a LONG way from Urunga, so alcohol probably played a part.

        The other delusion she has is that she has 'friends' in Urunga, named Pete and Helen Grainger.

        They are, apparently members of the Urunga Bowls Club, and well known around town.

        Unsurprisingly though, they are not registered rate payers, not registered to vote, which is compulsory in Australia, and have never been heard of at the Bowls Club.

        When you have make-believe friends, and think they're real, it's time to seek help, and dry out!