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  • Pikey Pikey Jan 12, 2010 17:32 Flag

    Big cook Little Cook

    Welcome to the Sheff United cookery blog.
    By popular demand, the first recipe to try is tripe and onions.

    Weights are exact and must be followed diligently.
    The cheaper tripe is from the first stomach of the cow, menudo tripe aka Rumen tripe.
    Honeycomb tripe is from the second stomach of the cow and a must for tripe connoisseurs.
    Throw it in a pot and add some mace. If you know of a friendly policeman you could insult him and hold the pot in front of your eyes as he sprays you. About 4 seconds should do it.
    Boil some onions in some milk.
    If you melt a bit of butter and add chopped onions and blend it over a little heat and make it thick somehow, you can use this as gravy.
    Now put the tripe on a plate and add the milk and onions. stir it a bit.
    Add the butter/onion sauce, pouring gently in a circular motion.
    Now enjoy, and let it's soothing charms encompass you.

    If you have a suggestion for a recipe please let us know.

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    • Nah Howy,
      Got no master.
      Unless you count the misses of course.

    • Tomorrows sweet will be sugar dummy's ...............

    • Stick to stacking bookshelves boy.

    • Due to having to go to a Maccy D's (spit) to purchase a happy meal (spit again) there has been a delay in bringing the CHEF U cookery blog to you.
      Things were going well as I drove around the building and was met by a lump of imitation wood with a TV screen on the top.
      This piece of imitation wood then spoke to me "Good morning sir, welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order"
      Wow.. I thought, how does it know whether it is addressing a man or woman?
      "I would like a happy meal please" (refrained from spitting)
      "Which one would you like?" asked the imitation wood.
      "The one to make me happy" I replied smartly.
      "Chicken nuggets, cheeseburger, hamburger or fish-fingers?" came the curt reply.
      "Oh, erm, a hamburger please" I said.
      "What drink would you like?" asked the imitation wood, sounding bored now.
      "What choices are there?"
      (sigh)"Fruit Shoot, milkshake, organic milk, Tropicana, soft drinks or water"
      "What flavour are the fruit shoots?" I enquired
      (Big sigh) "Apple, raspberry, blackcurrant" Came the uninterested reply.
      "What flavour are the milkshakes?"
      (biggest sigh yet!) "Vanilla, strawberry, chocolate" followed by another huge sigh.
      "What about the soft drinks" I politely asked.
      (sigh-ferfuksake) "cola, diet cola..........
      At this point I interrupted "I would like bottled water please"
      "Are you kidding" said the imitation wood in a slightly angry voice.
      "No, I'm serious"
      "Hmm" growled the imitation wood "Drive to window two" followed by a sarcastic "Please"
      I arrived at window two in around 1.7 seconds. Smoke and tyre burn marks on the block paved road behind me.
      "£2.09" said the spotty kid who was hanging his head through the opening.
      Behind him was another acneyed teenager wearing a headset with attached mike. He leaned over the first spotty kid and said "I don't like your attitude mister, swearing at me will only get you banned from McDonald's in the future"
      Banned. Banned from McDonald's hey? I thought.....
      "Well #$%$ down with a fukcing feather. Unbe-fukcin-lievable" I said, looking him straight in the eye. "Banned from buying #$%$ food from a #$%$ company served by a little #$%$"
      "Right, that's it!" He yelled "Your barred!"
      "Thanks" I shouted as I drove away.
      So there you have it, a happy meal with a little spice.....
      Serves one.

    • Tomorrows meal will be a happy meal with added spice ........

    • Good day Blue,
      Welcome to the CHEF U cookery blog.
      Today we stick with the party theme and go for the Asian Spicy Kangaroo Bar-B-Que.
      I large kangaroo (make sure it's dead as they tend to fight back)
      1 tablespoon sesame oil
      1 tablespoon peanut oil
      1/2 cup minced onion
      1 teaspoon minced garlic
      1 teaspoon minced ginger
      1/4 stick cinnamon
      1/2 star anise
      1/4 cup lime juice
      2 tablespoons soy sauce
      1/2 cup plum sauce
      1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
      1/4 cup water
      1 teaspoon dry mustard
      2 teaspoons kosher salt
      200 seeded baps
      8 gallons ketchup
      4 tons wood
      Loads of beer.

      Dig a pit about 4' x 3' and 18" deep and fill with lots of wood, coal and other burnable materials and add about 2 gallons of finest premium petrol (kinder on the environment)
      First place a very very large skewer through the kangaroo (mouth thro' #$%$) and hang vertically on two 'A' frames made from borrowed (stolen) scaffold bars.
      After the skewered kangaroo is in place, stand back and throw lit matches into the pit until a flame can be seen.
      Fan the flames if needed.
      Get all the other stuff and mix in a bucket until it is thickish. (not the wood, ketchup, baps and beer)
      After the fire has died down a bit, get close enough to turn the spit in a clockwise direction and splash a bit of the stuff in the bucket over the roast.
      Add wood as required to keep the fire going.
      Do this for 3 days until the meat is tender.
      Call your mates, and start the B-B-Q party.
      Open the beer.

      Cheers lads and lasses.

    • The Camel is an even-toed ungulate within the genus Camelus, bearing distinctive fat deposits known as humps on its back. There are two species of camels: the dromedary or Arabian camel has a single hump, and the Bactrian camel has two humps. They are native to the dry desert areas of West Asia, and Central and East Asia, respectively. Both species are domesticated to provide milk and meat, and as beasts of burden.

      The term camel is also used more broadly to describe any of the six camel-like creatures in the family Camelidae: the two true camels, and the four South American camelids, the llama, alpaca, guanaco, and vicuña.

      The average life expectancy of a camel is 40 to 50 years. A fully grown adult camel stands 1.85 m (6 ft 1 in) at the shoulder and 2.15 m (7 ft 1 in) at the hump. The hump rises about 30 inches (76.20 cm) out of its body. Camels can run at up to 65 km/h (40 mph) in short bursts and sustain speeds of up to 40 km/h (25 mph).

      Fossil evidence indicates that the ancestors of modern camels evolved in North America during the Palaeogene period, and later spread to most parts of Asia. Humans first domesticated camels before 2000 BC.[1][2]

    • Take the lids off, dries quicker.

    • It is definately a two humped camel.
      Did you know Chas, the picture on a packet of 'Camels' is actually a dromedary (one hump).
      Strange but true bit of totally useless information.
      I just know you will sleep better tonight !

    • Bloody disgusting stuff ! I didn't know they still made it ........

      • 1 Reply to B4ts
      • Hello and welcome to The Chef U Cookery Blog. (dig the new name?)
        After yesterdays fiasco, I thought it best to redeem myself...
        Today's recipe is a favourite of mine and easy to make.
        It's called Beans on Toast for Posh People with a Spicy Twist.
        You will need the following ingredients;
        onion , finely chopped
        garlic clove , crushed
        olive oil , for frying
        400g tin chopped tomatoes
        pinch dried chilli flakes
        400g tin cannellini beans or borlotti beans, drained
        handful basil leaves
        4 slices ciabatta , toasted
        Parmesan shavings, to serve (optional)

        Cook the onion and garlic in a little olive oil until the onion is soft and translucent. (see through Howy, like your head)
        Add the tomato, chilli flakes and beans.
        Season well and simmer until the sauce is rich and thick. Stir through the basil then pile onto toast and top with Parmesan.
        Delicious. And great for veggies too.
        Don't forget to tune in tomorrow.....

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