It's official: M'Bro top of the league(for worst places to live)
* (I wonder if this is just UK or on EARTH)
The independent survey was based on data from bodies including local authorities, the Home Office and the Office For National Statistics.
Here is the Top 20 worst list:
1. Middlesbrough - North East2. Hull - Humberside3. Newham - East London4. Nottingham - East Midlands5. Merthyr Tydfil - South Wales6. North East Lincolnshire - Eastern England7. Islington - North London8. Blaenau Gwent - South Wales9. Mansfield - East Midlands10. Knowsley - Merseyside11. Blackpool - North West12. Hackney - East London13. Stoke-on-Trent - Staffordshire14. Barking and Dagenham - East London15. Doncaster - South Yorkshire16. Cannock Chase - Staffordshire17. Manchester - North West18. Haringey - North London19. Burnley - Lancashire20. Hartlepool - North East
Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly believe this! I feel so blessed! I am so proud to accept this honour on behalf of the people of Middlesbrough. Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to bow down before me and accept that even in my wildest pool parties, I never would have fantasized that this could ever validate my mediocrity. And to the other brilliant nominees, I want each of you to know how totally vindicated your jealousy makes me feel right now!
You know when they first told me Boro was nominated, I just had to take a Xanax and obsess about how freakish my experiences have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda numb
You know, there are so many obsequious leeches to thank! First off though, I want to b¡tch slap those esteemed idiots, the local authorities, the Home Office and the Office For National Statistics.giving us this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Vishnu, for being such a powerful force in my loins. And to the #$%$ with the heart of gold, who taught me to take life by the armpit hairs. And finally, to all the illegitimate children I sired - I couldn't have done it without you!