• West Ham United Message Board

  • A Yahoo! User Sep 6, 2010 22:23 Flag

    Irish (Parental Advisory)

    Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.
    Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'
    He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
    Shamus said 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!'

    Murphy replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.'

    He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints
    of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

    Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't even got any money to pay for these drinks !!'

    Murphy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, I have a plan , Cheers! '

    They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, now here's the plan. I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.'

    The barman immediately noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

    They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

    At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm absolutely drunk and me knees are killing me!'

    Murphy said, 'How do you think I feel? I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in.

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    • Nowt to do with our Irish friends, but it made me smile out loud..... ;-D

      It was the happiest day of my life.

      I arrived at the church.

      The wife was waiting at the alter.

      I walked up the aisle.

      Kissed her on the cheek.


      And closed the #$%$ lid.