This advice about making mom friends will make you want to text your BFF immediately

female friends hugging in living room making mom friends
Ivan Gener/Stocksy

They say it takes a village to raise kids, but one thing that gets glossed over sometimes is just how important it is to have mom friends in that village. To have someone to share a cup of coffee with and candidly discuss the struggles of motherhood; to have someone to laugh (or cry) with after a particularly hard day; to have someone who knows exactly what you’re going through because they’re going through it, too, can make a world of difference. But it’s so difficult to make mom friends, and the ones you already have may be impossible to actually see because of differing schedules. Or so it seems.

Instagrammer Katie Calabrese (@katie_calabrese) shared a reel about five things her mama taught her about making mom friends that are still true today, and the biggest takeaway is to not stress about creating a perfect world for them to step into—but rather to invite them into your imperfect world. As moms, we know the house is not magically self-cleaning; we have errands to run, so why not run them together; or simply send a friend a text about the chaotic morning you had.

Katie Calabrese’s advice on making mom friends:

1. Be an inviter. Ask people over, even if the house isn’t perfect! People love the feeling of you welcoming them into your “everyday.” Truth is, we all have little messes or things we are working on – and there is a sweet relaxing vibe around the invitation to “slide that mail over to the other side of the table and sit down.”

2. Be a listener. Stop what you are doing and offer to sit. Make some coffee. Heat up the teapot. Stick some cookies in the oven. Sit and chat for a while.

3. It’s ok to let the kids run and play, throw out some craft things or turn on the sprinkler outside, sometimes mommas need a break to sit and relax while the kids run off all the energy.

4. Do things alongside others! Need to paint your bedroom? Why not invite over a friend and make a fun day of it? Have a big bulk grocery store visit you need to make? Why not ask another momma friend along and you can cruise those double wide aisles together and split the cost of 50 lb bags of rice.

5. Text your friends. It doesn’t have to be anything important, sometimes in the middle of the day it’s just nice to get a “let me tell you this crazy story that happened to me today…” text that makes you realize you aren’t the only one in the thick of all the craziness of life.

This isn’t to say a nice dinner or cocktail hour isn’t a fantastic (and much needed) way to spend time with mom friends, but these tips help you mesh day-to-day living and spending time with those who are in the same season of life as you, and who doesn’t want that?