Alternative PL Preview - October 21
Jose Mourinho to blame Antonio Conte for every Man Utd mistake
The Premier League’s resident troll was in top trolling form after Monday night’s death-draw against Liverpool. Jose Mourinho blamed Liverpool for being too “cautious,” despite the Manchester United boss setting up to play for a point from the very start. They might not have parked the bus, but they at least left it on double yellow lines with the hazard lights on.
In Mourinho’s eyes, he is never at fault. Paul Pogba not playing to his potential? Juventus’ fault. Not finding a place for expensive summer signing Henrikh Mkhitayran? Arsene Wenger’s fault. Losing his car keys? Also Wenger’s fault. And so the Man Utd boss will blame Antonio Conte for every mistake his team makes against Chelsea this weekend. Because who else would he blame?
Jack Wilshere to wear his Arsenal medals under his Bournemouth shirt against Spurs
As Arsenal fans like to remind everyone, Jack Wilshere is a Gooner through and through. There’s only one problem now, he’s no longer a Gooner. The midfielder is on the south coast on loan at Bournemouth, with Eddie Howe’s side up against Tottenham Hotspur this weekend.
This is Wilshere’s chance to show that he indeed remains Arsenal through and through. He will wear the medals he won in his time at the Emirates Stadium underneath his Bournemouth shirt. He’ll manage to do this because he actually only ever won two medals as an Arsenal player, unless he plans on bring along his FA Youth Cup medal. Most Premier League players wear more jewellery round their necks during games anyway.
Claudio Bravo to be given a free role against Southampton
Bomb scare goalkeeping is in vogue right now. While it was once enough for those between the sticks to be simply good at saving the ball whenever it came near them, now keepers need to be just as good with their feet as they are with their hands. Pep Guardiola is the sport’s greatest advocate of the transformation of the shot-stopper.
His stance won’t change in light of Claudio Bravo’s blunder in the midweek defeat to Barcelona, with the Chilean subtly attempting to get away with making a diving save about 10 yards outside the penalty box. Most managers would question their methods after such a failure, but not Guardiola. In fact, he’ll only entrench his approach further. Bravo will be given a free role against Southampton, only staying in goals when he is really needed there. Goalkeepers don’t often touch the ball anyway. What a waste.
Swansea City to Americanise the match-day experience on Bob Bradley’s home debut
With Swansea City appointing the Premier League’s first ever American manager the South Wales club will now seek to make Bob Bradley feel at home. Of course, boasting an impressive C.V that has seen him coach clubs and national teams all over the world he is more than just a walking Stars and Stripes flag, but that won’t stop the Swans Americanising their match-day experience.
They will host a tail-gate party in the car park before kick off, complete with barbecues in the dreary Welsh drizzle. Cheerleaders will entertain the crowd, while confetti cannons will explode with every goal scored. And should Swansea win Bradley will have a great big bucket of Gatorade tipped over his head. He’ll be delighted about that.
Jurgen Klopp to play everyone up front at West Brom… anything to forget Liverpool’s last game
It’s little wonder Liverpool as a city still likes football at all. Monday night’s bore draw against Manchester United was enough to test the faith of even the most hardcore of fanbases and so Jurgen Klopp is charged with proving that the sport can be something other than a method of euthanasia.
The Liverpool boss will play everyone up front against West Brom this weekend simply in an effort to erase from the memory what Mourinho inflicted on them. Anything to provide some entertainment, although against a Tony Pulis side that might prove a task. Might the cheshire cat grin be wiped from Klopp’s face once again?