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Antonio Conte’s lid hovering in mid-air on a constant jet of steam
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AN ATTEMPT TO CHEER UP SPURS FANS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY THOUGHT THROUGH
It sounds counter-intuitive on the face of it, but failing to sign all of your targets during the transfer window need not be a bad thing. Take Manchester City, for example, who are currently shoo-ins for the Premier League having already scored 55 goals, yet if they’d got what they wanted last summer, would now be lumbered up front with a slow, sour-faced, superannuated crosstown legend getting in the way of all the kids, and, even worse, five-goal spent force Harry Kane. Conversely, successfully getting your own way can end up backfiring. Yes, it’s Spurs and Harry Kane again, isn’t it.
That we’re specifically setting this up to make Tottenham fans feel a little less down today speaks volumes, but this is where everyone is at the minute, so let’s try to make the best of it. Spurs have spent the majority of the current window trying to land Adama Traoré from Wolves and Porto’s Luis Díaz, but it now looks as though the pair of wing wonders are off to Barcelona and Liverpool, respectively. This unfortunate state of affairs has plunged the fanbase into a deep funk, while sending Antonio Conte’s lid hovering in mid-air on a constant jet of steam, as if constantly daydreaming about what they’d have done with all that £125m cash-in bounty for Kane, and where they’d be right now, wasn’t distressing enough.
But if champions-elect City’s positive reaction to marketplace misery is anything to go by, this needn’t ruin Tottenham’s season. That’s why The Fiver confidently predicts a similarly staunch response from Spurs, maybe a fifth- or sixth- or seventh-place finish. Well, it’s all relative. After all, Son Heung-min is world-class, Lucas Moura is fun to watch, and Ryan Sessegnon has to come good at some point. Harry may chip in with a couple more goals too, if he starts getting away again with those egregious shoves and exaggerated spills. So there’s no need for Spurs fans to be chasing Daniel Levy down the Seven Sisters Road waving pitchforks quite yet. Save all your protesting energy for the summer, just on the off-chance Conte abruptly ups sticks in high dudgeon, which, well, y’know.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’m addicted. I’ve built Wembley and Old Trafford. When you’re doing Lego your mind’s taken off everything else, it’s the only thing that matters and, by the time you finish, you can’t believe two or three hours have just gone. It stops me thinking about football all the time” – Leicester City’s Jess Sigworth gets her chat on with Louise Taylor and, among other things, reveals she can build it like Beckham.
FIVER LETTERS ON ITS OWN WINTER BREAK
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Rollover.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Frank Lampard will vie with fan favourite Vítor Pereira and Duncan Ferguson in a last round of interviews for the privilege of overseeing Everton’s survival fight. Meanwhile, Wayne Rooney says he turned down the chance to talk to Goodison bigwigs because he has his hands full at Derby.
Lyon are the latest club to have seen Newcastle coming and reached an agreement over the signing of Brazil international Bruno Guimarães for a fee that could rise to £40m. “From my perspective I don’t imagine that would be the end of our interest in bringing new players in,” cooed Eddie Howe.
Aston Villa are trying to prise Rodrigo Bentancur out of Juventus with the aid of £20.8m, but the Italians want more.
Calum Chambers has left Arsenal for Aston Villa on a freebie. “It’s a massive club and they’re in a great moment,” honked the defender, of a team that has won one in their last five.
The Gambia head coach Tom Saintfiet insists his team aren’t in the Afcon last eight to make up the numbers as they head for a showdown with hosts Cameroon on Saturday. “When you’re there it’s because you deserve it,” he explained. “We know it won’t be easy. Against Cameroon, all the players are available, it can help to get a good result. Cameroon are big favourites, we have to relax and play our football.”
Fun and games in South America dept: Liverpool’s Alisson had not one, but two red cards overturned by VAR during Brazil’s dramatic 1-1 draw with Ecuador. “I am happy with the VAR,” he cheered.
USA! USA!! USA!!! are a step closer to the Human Rights World Cup after beating El Salvador 1-0. Away wins for Canada and Mexico in Honduras and Jamaica, respectively, mean the pair also look set for Qatar. Next up: Canada v USA! USA!! USA!!! on Sunday.
The Andy Carroll roadshow is heading for West Brom. “Andy can help us to get exactly the power we need in the box,” tooted boss Valérien Ismaël.
And NFT bro John Terry has been forced to remove the Premier League trophy from that ape-based business he’s offering, after a legal intervention.
STILL WANT MORE?
Shaun Walker enters the Dragan’s den as he meets Southampton’s new billionaire owner.
Jamie Jackson dons his mac and shades to investigate the mystery of Donny van de Beek.
Ten things to look out for in the Prem … ah … hang on. The Championship gets its time in the sun this weekend, folks, so look out for fluctuating fortunes and future stars, writes Ben Fisher.
Le Havre are not even in Ligue Urrrrrrrn, but that hasn’t stopped them from becoming un world-class talent factory, reports Karan Tejwani.
Catch up with today’s Mill, including a potentially entertaining chemistry experiment at Roma.
The -10C temperature could be Canada’s chief weapon when they host USA! USA!! USA!!! shivers Joe Callaghan. For further reading on matches played in baltic conditions, get on to this.
And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
