'Embarrassing' signed letter from England cricket team gets absolutely slated on social media

Sean Gibson
Did Joe Root write it all himself or did all the players chip in? - Lauren Hurley/PA

An open letter addressed "Dear 677..." and signed by the entire England cricket team has been described as "the most cringeworthy thing ever" after being posted on social media.

The letter, plotted in free verse, is meant to be taken as a message to the next Test cricketer to represent England – but is actually being taken as an "embarrassing" effort to market the team's new kit by manufacturer New Balance.

"One things (sic) for sure... greatness isn't given," the composition aptly concludes.

England's newest recruit – selected on merit, fans will hope – is earlier told: "Forget what you've done before. None of it matters.

"We've taken wickets. Scored runs. Held catches." Proud boasts, all.

The Freudian slip that is line seven is a particular highlight: "You're on the first step of a never ending flight of stairs to success."

Someone, somewhere in this operation sagely edited "flight of stairs" to be read as "staircase" in the video advertisement that carries the poem in its entirety – though the implication that England will never reach success was, happily, allowed to remain.

Admittedly, the effect of it all is slightly improved in an audiovisual medium – the words propelled by northern bass and set against an intense musical accompaniment quite unbefitting the form of cricket where a game can last five days.

New Balance are replacing Adidas as the official England and Wales Cricket Board sponsor, and far be it from us to dissent on so momentous an occasion as Tuesday's unveiling of the new kit

The ad is part of the company's 'My Future Self' global campaign – so it would be best to warn loved ones that similar treatment could be coming soon to a sports team they love.

Fan mail to the BMB marketing agency.

What do the England players have to say for themselves, Joe? Credit: Gareth Copley/Getty 

 

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