Ashes 2017-18: England on the brink of series defeat after Mitchell Starc's magic delivery to James Vince

English explorers, in such a bygone era that sat nav had not been invented, spent much time exploring Australia’s outback in search of a great inland sea. Edward Eyre was luckier than most in finding what is occasionally a lake, but for the most part their efforts are summed up by the names they left behind on the map, such as Lake Disappointment.

Many English cricketers too have gone round Australia fruitlesslly. Alastair Cook struck gold on his second tour, when he amassed the second highest series aggregate for England anywhere or at any time, behind Wally Hammond in 1928-9 alone, but his fourth tour is going the same way as Hammond’s, when he led England in 1946-7, after the Second World War had robbed him of his prime. Hammond scored 168 runs, and Cook still needs a single to get halfway there. 

Joe Root, on his second tour, has found one venue after another to be Ground Disappointment. After he had sliced a wide ball to slip, Root found some comfort in the rain that gave England a last chance of clinging on to the Ashes by curtailing the fourth day and jeopardising the first half of the fifth. But England’s captain will know that in his eagerness to repel Australia’s superior bowling, for the sake of his team, he has not done himself justice, and gone too hard too soon.

Root might have survived to lead England’s rearguard if he had not spent two whole days in taxing his mental reserves to work out how to dismiss Australia’s batsmen. England’s bowlers have been following in the footsteps of those nineteenth century explorers, trying to find the promised land - a pitch where the ball landing on a good old-fashioned English length will seam sideways. Eyre at least found a lake that was sometimes half-full; the seamers are still searching.

Mitchell Starc conjured up the Ball of the Series when he went round the wicket, and wide in the crease, to produce a ball of which Derek Underwood would have been proud - only half as fast again. The pitch was cracking up by then, if not so much as England’s senior batsmen, but it still emphasised the difference between the bowling attacks of the two countries. Heavyweight boxers are competing against a kids’ judo class, and there is so much more to it than Australia’s pace bowlers being measured as six kph faster on average than England’s. The boxers have struck numerous painful blows on the body while the judo class have scarcely landed a kick.

James Anderson, by declining the third new ball and aiming for the cracks running down the pitch on the line of offstump for bowlers from the Prindiville end, took four wickets out of the five to fall before Australia’s declaration. That gave him 12 wickets for this series, while all the others have managed 23 between them. To win an Ashes series in Australia, history tells us, England have to take more than 80.

Chris Woakes and Moeen Ali would be pleased if, when they batted, they could record centuries with so few alarms as when they bowled here. Woakes has not swung the ball all tour, and as Stuart Broad is not doing much with new ones, Woakes might as well take it in Melbourne in the fourth Test to see if he can swing it at last. Moeen’s three wickets in this series have all been lefthanders. Pat Cummins slog-swept him for six when Australia did not deign to collapse after Mitchell Marsh had added nothing to his overnight score, Steve Smith ten to his, and - in an incident for which retribution would follow - Starc was run out by James Vince.

Stuart Broad however has been the biggest - well, disappointment. One warning sign occurred in England’s final warm-up game at Townsville. England needed a win on the last day against the cadets of Cricket Australia’s XI and one flat-out Broad spell would have done the trick, but they were able to bat out for a draw untroubled.

Another warning sign has been, not so much the lack of pace, as the lack of animation. Other than verbally Broad has not wound himself up and got into a contest, or battle, at any time in this series - which is all the harder if he knows his left knee is playing up, yet all the more necessary. In the past he would have found a way, or at least tried some ingenious ploy - and going round the wicket to Steve Smith would have been a start, replicating the left-arm bowler that England never seem to have. Smith’s unique bottom-handed grip must have a drawback, otherwise it would be orthodoxy, and England have not experimented with that change of angle except when Anderson briefly did - and then with inswingers, rather than angling across Smith.

When England batted a second time, 259 runs behind, Mark Stoneman as well as Root played his loosest shot of this series. Cook timed the ball nicely but could not resist the siren call of aiming through midwicket. 

It was Vince who saw off the new ball and made sure that some of England’s feathers went unruffled. When Australia pitched it up he drove imperiously, to either side, although he was slowed down after tea when they banged out a shorter length. Vince evoked Graeme Hick as an England number three capable of the majestic, but Hick was never granted long enough in his favourite position to become so. Then came the Ball of the Series, which not even Smith would have survived.

9:22AM

Close: England 132/4 (Malan 28* Bairstow 14*) off 38.2 overs

England trail by 127 runs.

Play will start half an hour earlier tomorrow: at 10am local time or 2am UK time. Please join us from about half one and we'll read the last rites. Thanks for following the blog with us, we'll have loads of reaction and analysis throughout the morning.

9:20AM

Play is off for the day

9:15AM

Somewhere

9:08AM

Ah a bit of drizzle again

And the covers are back on. Alison's upped her bid again: "this is the heaviest it has been."

9:07AM

The floodlights are on

Gloomy, cloudy. They're running a rope around. Restart scheduled for ten past, but it's looking a bit murky again.

8:53AM

And suddenly it's brilliant sunshine again!

Oh England. Covers coming off, we'll be back underway shortly.

8:46AM

OVER 38.2: ENG 132/4: (Malan 28* Bairstow 14*)           

After two balls of the Cummins over, it starts raining again. "This is the heaviest we have had," says Ali Mitchell, and I have no reason to doubt her.

Rain stops play

Bairstow is up those stairs like a bullet. I don't think I have ever seen anyone get up a set of stairs so quickly!

8:45AM

OVER 38: ENG 132/4: (Malan 28* Bairstow 14*)          

Hazlewood with some big swing, but it arcs helpfully onto the middle of YJB's bat. Creamed through mid off for a peachy four.

8:41AM

OVER 37: ENG 126/4: (Malan 28* Bairstow 8*)         

Cummins reasserts himself with a maiden. I thought one kept a bit low.

8:37AM

OVER 36: ENG 126/4: (Malan 28* Bairstow 8*)         

Nice shot from Jonny up on the toes, forcing Starc away. 

The scheduled close is 9.30am but we can play on until 10am to make up the overs. If the Aussies can convince the umpires they can finish it tonight, they could claim another half hour on top of that. 

Social media types will be pleased to hear that Wasim Akram 'liked' a tweet from Cricket Australia with a video of the Vince-Starc dismissal.

8:31AM

OVER 35: ENG 122/4: (Malan 28* Bairstow 4*)        

That dead cat is bouncing merrily now! Pat Cummins comes on and bowls a load of absolute pony. Malan has carted him for four fours. A check drive, a pull through midwicket, another pull through midwicket and now a cut. Those three balls were way too short from the usually excellent Cummins.

8:29AM

OVER 34: ENG 106/4: (Malan 12* Bairstow 4*)       

Bairstow off the mark with a crisp, clean clip off the pads. Four runs for that. I am pretty sure we are going to be back tomorrow now.

8:28AM

OVER 33: ENG 101/4: (Malan 11* Bairstow 0*)      

Quiet over from Josh. Finding a bit of shape to the lefty Malan.

8:21AM

Mitch on Mitch

8:20AM

OVER 32: ENG 100/4: (Malan 10* Bairstow 0*)     

Here's Starc, not looking too comfortable but making things very uncomfortable for England. Bairstow, squared up on occasion, survives this maiden.

8:13AM

OVER 31: ENG 100/4: (Malan 10* Bairstow 0*)    

Josh Hazlewood joins the fray, and is getting the ball to reverse. Oh goody, goody gumdrops. Malan concertinas out of the way of a bumper. Raining now.

8:11AM

OVER 30: ENG 100/4: (Malan 10* Bairstow 0*)   

Starc points Vince on his way. That was a freakish ball, I cannot get over it. I'll get you a video clip ASAP. Ah here we go.

8:06AM

WICKET! Vince b Starc 55

No playing that. What a delivery. Starc around the wicket, wide on the crease, the ball hoops in alarmingly before pitching, and breaking away from James Vince, who is cleaned bowled. That was an absolutely ridiculous delivery. Unplayable. And at proper pace too. One of the most vicious deliveries I have ever seen: hit the crack I guess but it's all academic now for JV. FOW 100/4

8:02AM

OVER 29: ENG 99/3: (Malan 9* Vince 55*)  

Vince carrying the fight to Australia, slog-sweeping hard for four. Lyon no longer allowed to have it all his own way.

7:59AM

OVER 28: ENG 92/3: (Malan 7* Vince 50*)  

Vince solid in a maiden here, and the rain has receded.

7:58AM

OVER 27: ENG 92/3: (Malan 7* Vince 50*)  

Lyon. Lovely shot off the back foot from Vince, gorgeous stuff. Now a single takes him to fifty, an attractive one it has been too. Rain coming down.

7:53AM

OVER 26: ENG 87/3: (Malan 7* Vince 45*) 

Change of bowling. It's Mitchell S.

Starc doesn't look quite right, moving gingerly. But getting the ball to swing back in, finds the inside edge.

7:52AM

Spice Girls

Ricky Ponting: "Posh is having a beer out of a plastic cup, Baby's got some nachos, I'm not sure what is going on."

7:48AM

OVER 25: ENG 87/3: (Malan 7* Vince 45*)

Lyon has been allowed to bowl five overs for nine but England tag him in this over: nice shot from James Vince here as he forces him off the back foot. Trio of singles with.

Wind's really getting up...

7:44AM

OVER 24: ENG 80/3: (Malan 5* Vince 40*)    

Vince cannot help it.

Rare bad ball from Cummo, Vince cuts it away for four.

7:40AM

OVER 23: ENG 76/3: (Malan 5* Vince 36*)   

Malan charges down the pitch, wallops the ball into the ground and it pops into Lyon's hands. Lyon, the creature, asks the question of the umpire. They have a quick check on the video and, sure enough, it's a bump ball.

7:37AM

OVER 22: ENG 76/3: (Malan 5* Vince 36*)  

Blistering start to the over from Cummo. After a single to Malan, he hits that crack and the ball leaps! Hits Vince on the upper pad and goes for four leg byes. Accurate bouncer next. Followed up by the yorker, well played by Vince. Classy fast bowling.

According to Jim

7:32AM

OVER 21: ENG 71/3: (Malan 4* Vince 36*) 

Lyon. Vince. Some turn back into him but nothing too dramatic. Vince flashes! Steady. Squirts the last one away past short leg. Howls from the Aussies, albeit that the ball was not close to the fielder. That is a maiden, too.

7:29AM

OVER 20: ENG 71/3: (Malan 4* Vince 36*) 

First ball after the resumption swings and hits Malan on the pad! OMFG. Massive appeal, but it pitched outside leg. This is a maiden.

7:26AM

Thanks Bobby

Morning everyone, Tyers here. Not a good morning, but a morning nevertheless. Dawid Malan takes strike, Pat Cummins will complete the over that was truncated by rain. Prior to the interval, Cummins had bowled two balls to Dawid.

7:10AM

TEA: ENG 71/3 (Trail by 188 runs)

Anderson bolstered his figures at the start of the session with his canniness and skill but since then England have taken themselves to the brink of losing the Ashes with some serious batting errors. Mark Stoneman, his footwork ruined by being struck in the first innings and worried about an encore, pushed hesitantly in the no man's land of neither back or forward, Cook's balance has abandoned him and it has affected everything while Root threw his wicket away in a rush of blood that was wholly inappropriate to the situation. 

Oh ... and it's stopped raining already. Alan Tyers will be here for final session. I'll be back tomorrow if required. Thanks for your company. 

7:06AM

OVER 19: ENG 71/3: (Malan 4* Vince 36*)

Lyon bowls a maiden and .... here comes a really squally shower.

7:05AM

OVER 18: ENG 71/3: (Malan 4* Vince 36*)

Vince plays a leg glance for a single. Cummins hasn't hit peak pace yet. Perhaps he doesn't need to. Though England, with Starc lame and Hazlewood tired, should be doing much better than this. Here come a few drops of rain. 

6:58AM

OVER 17: ENG 70/3: (Malan 4* Vince 35*)

Vince smears a drive through extra-cover off Lyon for four but is kept on his toes metaphorically when Lyon hits something in the pitch and the ball dies and turns into a daisy-cutter. Vince chisels it out through slip for a single. 

6:55AM

OVER 16: ENG 65/3: (Malan 4* Vince 30*)

Vince, up on his toes, tucks a single down to long leg off Cummins.  

6:53AM

OVER 15: ENG 64/3: (Malan 4* Vince 29*)

Root began this series as the second-highest ranking Test batsman and will end it in fifth place, dropping further behind Smith, Virat, Pujara and Williamson. He's up against a fine bowling attack playing in their preferred conditions and always with scoreboard pressure to back them up. But he has been a huge disappointment. That was a filthy loosener from Lyon and Root was suckered by it. Malan steers a dab down to third man for four. 

6:46AM

Wicket!!

Root c Smith b Lyon 14The series is over. England's captain goes for the big drive off Lyon's first ball and nicks off. The keeper cannot claim it but it parries off his right glove to first slip. Poor ball, terrible shot, good catch. It's over. Done. FOW 60/3

6:46AM

OVER 14: ENG 60/2: (Root 14* Vince 29*)

Pat Cummins replaces Hazlewood. He defends  a couple stoutly, the second with an angled bat that makes it spin back towards the stump to spook him momentarily. But when Cummins drops half a yard shorter Vince spanks a back foot punch through cover point for four. He ends the over with a soft-handed thick edge off a forward defensive that scuttles through the slips for four more. He's playing beautifully but has entered his danger zone  now. Play for tea. 

6:42AM

OVER 13: ENG 52/2: (Root 14* Vince 21*)

Marsh, who can't top 80mph, bounces Vince again and the batsman contemptuously pulls it for a single behind square. Root practises his forward defensive as Marsh tries to locate the crack then tees up a half-tracker that Root pulls hard for four. Shaun Marsh made a diving attempt to stop it but mistimed it and the ball scooted under him. 

6:38AM

OVER 12: ENG 47/2: (Root 10* Vince 20*)

The wind is whipping up and there are a few spots of rain. Root extends a forward defensive and sends the ball whistling through the covers for four. Warner, a gazelle, can't catch it even though he chased it at full pelt. A more orthodox square drive earns Root four more easing into the stroke and skimming it to the pickets.  

6:33AM

OVER 11: ENG 39/2: (Root 2* Vince 20*)

Australia have opened up cover for Vince but Marsh bounces him and he pulls it sweetly, rolling his wrists and clobbering it for for four. A sensational on-drive is creamed to the boundary off the fifth ball. Vince truly has dreamy shots but can his judgment match his execution today. 

6:25AM

OVER 10: ENG 30/2: (Root 1* Vince 12*)

Dramatic movement in off a crack raps Vince on the pad. Fortunately did too much but Austrlia's greater pace and England's skittishness means there be dragons in that pitch now. Root took a Pietersen Red Bull-fuelled single to get off the mark, beating Lyon's throw by 2ft. That's drinks. 

6:22AM

OVER 9: ENG 29/2: (Root 0* Vince 12*)

Mitchell Marsh replaces Starc who has actually left the field. He's an 80mph medium pacer with a knack for that impossibility of physics, 'the heavy ball'. He starts with a maiden that is serenaded by the theme from the Great Escape. It's a common theme from the trumpeter for this situation, but most of them died. And Alastair Cook  may have played the part of Gordon Jackson today. 

6:17AM

OVER 8: ENG 29/2: (Root 0* Vince 12*)

Alastair Cook pulls in front of square for four but chips the next ball back to the bowler. What a great catch. He was so quickly on to it he seemed to have all the time he needed even though he was in his followthrough, the calm at the eye of the storm. Eight more wickets and the Ashes are Australia's. Root defends two, one each either side of a leave. BT Sport are bigging up Gary Palmer, Cook's batting coach, and his influence in the nets. Might it not be time to bring back Zap Gooch?  

6:12AM

Wicket!!

Cook c&b Hazlewood 14Tried to turn it through midwicket and popped it back to the bowler off a leading edge. Hazlewood swooped to his right to take a one-handed catch at ankle-height. FOW 29/2

6:11AM

OVER 7: ENG 25/1: (Cook 10* Vince 12*)

Cook squirts a single down to long leg off an inside edge with a hastily jabbed down bat. Starc comes round to employ that extraordinry angle to Vince, gets the first one wring and Vince whips it off his ankles for four to fine leg. After wearing one on the thighpad, Vince smears another gloriously timed cover drive for four and follows it with a crisp defensive angled-bat smother. The forecast for tomorrow has changed and is now set fair. 

6:06AM

OVER 6: ENG 16/1: (Cook 9* Vince 4*)

Hazlewood looks the likeliest lad and begins the over with Cook feeling for the ball outside off with concrete boots. 'I'm worried,' says Geoffrey Boycott. Cook messes up his assessment of the line of the next ball and thick edges it down to third man and Smith, chasing from second slip,  makes a stunning diving save to claw the ball back from the rope. 

6:02AM

OVER 5: ENG 13/1: (Cook 6* Vince 4*)

Vince cracks a sublime cover drive for four off Starc, checking his followthrough. Good stride out to the ball and he diligently leaves the next that is quicker and jumps across him. Back in 2010 at the Oval against Pakistan - Amir, Asif and Riaz - ended a poor run with a horrible century, full of ugly hoicks and prods. He barely middled a ball all innings. It's what he needs here. 

5:58AM

OVER 4: ENG 9/1: (Cook 6* Vince 0*)

Starc is taking tablets down on the boundary during Hazlewood's second over. Cook leaves the first three and pushes the fourth around his pad into midwicket. Ponting's analysis, which is so perceptive and persuasive, is that Australia's working over of Stoneman in the first innings has unnerved him. Cook survives the over but there's nothing particularly positive about his head placement and consequent balance.  

5:54AM

OVER 3: ENG 9/1: (Cook 6* Vince 0*)

Vince played out the last ball of the previous over with a solid defensive. Cook begins this with another then punches four off his hip. Starc looks a little lame and is pushing the ball down the legside a lot. He is something of a slow starter with the red ball. Cook plays an unusual claw-handed drive with no footwork, through midwicket for a single. That's a worrying sight. Caught on the crease again. Vince ends the over with a positive forward defensive, head over the ball. 

5:50AM

OVER 2: ENG 4/1: (Cook 1* Vince 0*)

Josh Hazlewood, who didn't bat and seems to have been demoted to No11 beneath Nathan Lyon, at least takes the new ball and his second ball, back of a length, hits the crack and shoots past Stoneman's bat at ankle height. As Boycott G says, you have to keep playing on length, you can't second guess for the cracks.  He plays a crisp forward defensive followed by a ridiculous swatted pull that he fortunately misses, neither forward or back. And it proves to be his undoing, such pussyfooting. Understandable, no doubt given the blow he received in the first knock, but he has to conquer that or he'll be a sitting duck for the rest of the series. 

5:46AM

Wicket!!

Stoneman c Paine b Hazlewood 3 His footwork is all over the place over this over and he takes a step back and hangs his bat outside off-stump. Neither one thing or the other. Disconcerted by being hit in the first innings?  FOW 4/1

5:43AM

OVER 1: ENG 4/0: (Cook 1* Stoneman 3*)

Mitchell Starc, over the wicket, angles one across Cook and past his hip. Cook is in short sleeves and no sweater, Stoneman has long sleeves and a sleeveless sweater. How hot is it in Peterlee? It's windy out there - Cook tucks a single off his hip and they call up a short leg for Stoneman after skelping him on the helmet in the first innings. He squirts a square drive for two to get off the mark then tucks a single, like Cook did of his hip. Captain cautious has only two slips in for Stoneman and three for Cook.

5:30AM

Australia declare on 662/9

They lead by 259 and England have four sessions plus 90 minutes of this session to survive. Will it rain? It might for a while but shouldn't detain Australia too long today, anyway but the forecast is more in England's favour tomorrow, if they can last that long. 

5:27AM

Wicket!!

Lyon c Moeen b Anderson 4  He top edges a baseball drive to mid on having just clubbed a stand and deliver similar shot for four. Anderson ends with four for 116, Paine unbeaten on 49. Australia declare 259 ahead on 662 for nine. 

5:26AM

OVER 179: AUS 658/8 (Lyon 0* Paine 49*)

Tim Paine goes on the charge, taking a stride towards Broad and crunching him over wide mid on for four. Sensational shot. Australia lead by 255. He tries to scythe the last ball through point with a blade halfway between the vertical and horizontal but misses. Broad is hacked off. They look as though they'll declare when Paine makes 50. 

5:21AM

OVER 178: AUS 654/8 (Lyon 0* Paine 45*)

Sensibly Anderson is coming on. Too often on this tour they haven't used him at the beginning of sessions after breaks. Immediately he looks more menacing and miserly than anyone else, until he sprays one down the legside and Bairstow cannot stop it diving to his left. They run two byes. Some shape into Cummins, drifting in on the breeze, the good doctor making his afternoon rounds. Anderson picks up his 50th Test wicket of 2017 by pinning Cummins who delays proceedings with a complete Watson of a review. 

5:20AM

Wicket!!

Cummins lbw b Anderson 41 Absolutely plumb. 

5:18AM

Australia review

Cummins lbw b AndersonLooks out. 

5:15AM

OVER 177: AUS 652/7 (Cummins 41* Paine 45*)

Broad continues to Cummins who takes his left leg over towards midwicket to open his stance and smears a drive through cover for four. A dab glide down to third man earns him a single and allows Broad to keep Paine quiet for a couple of balls until he serves up a bouncer that Paine hooks for four. Did he glove that? Or was it a top edge. Barely matters. 

5:09AM

Australia bat on

Out come Cummins and Paine to resume Australia's innings. 

4:33AM

Lunch: Aus 643/7 - lead by 240 runs

England had a far better session than any in the field that preceded it but after those three quick breakthroughs, Cummins and Paine have put on 82 runs off 114 balls for the eighth wicket. There is a canyon outside the right-handers' off-stump and England will have at least four and a half sessions to survive unless the weather intervenes and/or Steve Smith prefers sadism to guaranteeing victory. We shall see in about half an hour.  

4:30AM

OVER 176: AUS 643/7 (Cummins 36* Paine 41*)

'Right out of the screws,' as the Australians say. Moeen tosses one up to Cummins who goes down on one knee and slogs it over midwicket for six. The ball before he had paddled fine for four. That's lunch. 

4:27AM

OVER 175: AUS 631/7 (Cummins 25* Paine 40*)

Cummins punches a single off his hip. Will Australia declare at lunch (at 4.30am) or carry on? Will grinding England down with another hour in the field be an effective use of time because it will help them polish them off earlier because of demoralisation? Paine picks up a pair of singles into the offside, one in the V and one off an open face through point. Australia lead by 238.

4:23AM

OVER 174: AUS 628/7 (Cummins 24* Paine 38*)

England's off-break bowler comes round the wicket to Cummins and Overton makes a diving stop at deep backward square that really hurts him. They run three. Overton has to go off afterwards. Paine, because of Moeen's approach, can kick a couple away then punches a single to mid on. 

4:19AM

OVER 173: AUS 624/7 (Cummins 21* Paine 37*)

Paine taps a single to mid-off, the lack of force buying the time to get the run, then Broad whacks Cummins on the elbow as he ducks and runs a leg-bye. That had to hurt, but he stonefaces it out until he gives it a surreptitious rub. Paine ends the over by creaming  Broad through cover point for four. Terrific shot. Australia extend their lead to 221. Moeen is coming on after Overton's one-over spell that was agony for the injured fast-medium bowler. 

4:13AM

OVER 172: AUS 618/7 (Cummins 21* Paine 32*)

Overton does come on and starts at 76mph. He has a cracked rib and plenty of guts. Cummins brings up the fifty partnership with a steer off the back foot to third man. He has a flap at a pull when  Overton bangs it short and he skies it over midwicket safely, running two. Poor Overton is wincing after every ball. Oh for a No9 as adhesive as Cummins. Paine ends the over with a cushioned drive through extra cover for three. We're going down the dip now after that exhilarating beginning. We're 18 minutes from lunch. As I said in the intro, this is about mental disintegration in its original sense now but they are flirting with the weather, poo-pooing the forecast. 

4:08AM

OVER 171: AUS 610/7 (Cummins 17* Paine 29*)

Broad clatters Paine on the index finger of his right hand - not the one he badly damaged years back - and he wrings it in agony as he trots a single after fending it behind square. Cummins steers a single down to third man then Paine has a flash outside off, playing and missing as he tries to accelerate. 

4:02AM

OVER 170: AUS 608/7 (Cummins 16* Paine 28*)

Cummins slaps three through point to bring up the 600 off Woakes, rotates the strike when Paine pushes a single to cover, then square drives off the back foot for four. Woakes throws up a tempter down the corridor and Cummins has a waft. Ten off the over. Let Overton loose on those cracks. He might not get a wicket but he may scone one of them. 

3:58AM

OVER 169: AUS 598/7 (Cummins 7* Paine 27*)

Crikey! Broad hits the crack and it flies past the batsman in the shape of a ragging leg-cutter. Next ball, from wider on the crease, sails down the legside after pitching on middle and jagging. It goes for four byes. Then Paine nicks off through first slip wth an angled bat, too far for Bairstow to reach and the man at second slip. You make your own luck, of course, but sympathy for Broad who must be cursing Paine's jammy streak. Australia lead by 195. 

3:53AM

OVER 168: AUS 590/7 (Cummins 7* Paine 23*)

Woakes comes wide on the crease and angles one in to Cummins and gets it to leap up off the pitch. The batsman has a fish at it but doesn't reach it. Another maiden for Woakes who is more than holding up an end but needs that help to look threatening. 

3:50AM

OVER 167: AUS 590/7 (Cummins 7* Paine 23*)

Paine calls for a single then sends Cummins back. Malan's direct hit from cover at the non-striker's would have done for one of them but for the hastily rescinded call. England are far more buoyant this morning. 'At it,' as the professionals' cliche has it. Five dot balls precede am angled dab through gully off the last for four by Paine. It's the type of shot that you would characterise, pre Gilchrist and Stewart, as a typical keeper's shot, very Knotty. Alan Knott, by the way, was behind one of my favourite quips when playing. The opposition had to find a volunteer to go behind the stumps after the regular was held up and wasn't there for the start. And he pulled off a fine catch to dismiss my friend. As his team-mates congratulated him in wonder, he said: 'Well, they don't call me APE for nothing.' 

3:42AM

OVER 166: AUS 586/7 (Cummins 7* Paine 19*)

 Paine loves a pull and whisks Woakes round the corner fine for a single. Cummins treats us to his Brigadier Blocking for the rest of the over adding a couple of artful leaves. Broad will replace Anderson. 

3:34AM

OVER 165: AUS 585/7 (Cummins 7*, Paine 18*)

A pair of deuces as the card sharks say, Paine punching two twos off successive deliveries down to the point sweeper. A larcenous single with a forward defensive gave England a sniff of a run out from cover but he wasn't quick enough to the ball and then the release. Cummins made it home then chisels out a full delivery that squirts through the slips for four. That's drinks. Australia lead by 182

3:30AM

OVER 164: AUS 576/7 (Cummins 3, Paine 13*)

Cummins, who has made 44, 42 and 11 not out so far in this series, has a very sound technique. He should move up a place. He turns Woakes off his toes to square leg but a good diving stop keeps him on three. A maiden for Woakes who has bowled well but without the penetration of Anderson. No reverse for him. Here's the crack Anderson is pounding just outside the right-hander's off-stump. 

3:25AM

OVER 163: AUS 576/7 (Cummins 3, Paine 13*)

Some reverse swing for Anderson and biting accuracy with his length. He has hit his groove this morning and has his dander up. Paine pushes two off the back foot, more by transferring his weight than taking a step, dabbing it past backward point after his reprieve. 

3:23AM

Not out

It was missing leg stump. Because Paine is batting half a yard out of his crease the umpire may have been deceived. 

3:21AM

Australia review

Paine lbw b Anderson

3:19AM

OVER 162: AUS 574/7 (Cummins 3, Paine 11*)

Paine clips two off his pads down to Moeen at fine leg then plays tip and run to cover for a single. 

3:16AM

OVER 161: AUS 571/7 (Cummins 3, Paine 8*)

Paine makes a diving stop at backward point, the ball squirted low but he managed to get a finger on it and save a run as Cummins ran three. Anderson bangs one in to Paine who is half a yard out oh his crease. It sits up with temptingly trampoline bounce and Paine uppercuts it over backward point for four. Anderson ratchets up his length and draws Paine forward, elongating a defensive to pinch the strike at the end of the over. England decide not to take the new ball yet. 

3:11AM

OVER 160: AUS 563/7 (Cummins 0, Paine 3*)

The new ball will be due next over but why would you take it given how well they're bowling. Woakes tests Paine on the pull that has got him out twice in the series. He gets on top of it and rolls his wrists, flipping it low to backward square who stops the four and, because he middled it and it got there like an express, also the single. Maiden. Different game today. That's why the game continues to beguile us. 

3:08AM

OVER 159: AUS 563/7 (Cummins 0, Paine 3*)

Paine, batting out of his crease, plays tip and run into the covers. Michael Vaughan is worried by the cracks. Australia used the heavy roller this morning to try to flatten them. 

3:06AM

OVER 158: AUS 563/7 (Cummins 0, Paine 2*)

England have taken 13 for three this morning and nearly had another when Paine took a dodgy single to short third man. A direct hit would have sent him back to the hutch. The cracks are widening but they are hardly crevasses. It'll likely have the Australia attack salivating. Tickner captures everything we who have endured that ad 3,000 flipping times this winter thought:

3:01AM

OVER 157: AUS 562/7 (Cummins 0, Paine 1*)

Superb from Anderson who, in Geoffrey Boycott's phrase, lured Steve Smith into playing down Piccadilly when the ball came down Bakerloo. And he gets Starc chipping a lofted drive down the ground, five yards short of Broad who was placed precisely for that shot. Anderson is getting something out of this pitch and has Paine in all sorts of trouble ... but it's Starc who saws himself off in a right old flap. 

2:57AM

Wicket!!

Starc run out1 Confusion after Anderson appealed for leg-before after trapping Paine on the foot. Starc at the non-striker's called the run, crossed, barely, and was stranded by 10 yards when gully ran the ball to the stumps. FOW 561/7

2:50AM

Wicket!!

Smith lbw b Anderson 239His right leg came round, playing French cricket again and was pinned on the crease above the knee roll. It was plumb, actually. Why didn't he give it out originally? FOW 560/6

2:49AM

England review

Smith lbw b AndersonOnly height can save Smith. 

2:49AM

OVER 156: AUS 560/5 (Smith 239* Paine 1*)

Too much width from Woakes to Smith who rocks back o punch it off the back foot with an open face through gully for four. Shelling peas.  Smith check pulls a single round the corner and allows Woakes the opportunity to target Paine's painful hand. He defends securely but does wince when the second he faces catches the splice. 

2:45AM

OVER 155: AUS 555/5 (Smith 234* Paine 1*)

Smith steps over towards off and middle and cuffs Anderson's fullish delivery through square leg for four and follows it with a single just in front of square. Quintuple Nelson or a defunct fag brand, take your pick - 555 for five. Anderson delivers a jaffa to Paine, shapes in, and fizzes away from the edge - a perfect leg break that does just too much to tickle the edge. 

2:41AM

OVER 154: AUS 550/5 (Smith 229* Paine 1*)

Woakes opens up with Anderson and reaches good skiddy pace from the start with a tight line, juts back of a length, thudding into Paine's bat as he defends the first three stoutly, hooter aligned over the ball. Adam Gilchrist, an adopted Sandgroper, believes whatever rain may hit today will only delay proceedings briefly because the wind is up. Maiden for Woakes. 

2:37AM

OVER 153: AUS 550/5 (Smith 229* Paine 1*)

Anderson starts and hits a decent length. Jerusalem greets Marsh's forward defensive and it is truncated by a huge appeal and roar when he is given out ... and again a second time after the review. It came in a little but did him more on length as he was caught on the back foot. Paine leans into a forward defensive that earns him a single to cover and Smith plays two French cricket defensives to end the over. 

2:33AM

Wicket!! 

Marsh lbw b Anderson 181Done him with the second ball. Umpire's call on height. Tremendous start from Anderson. FOW 549/5

2:31AM

Australia review

Marsh lbw b AndersonLooks high. No edge. 

2:30AM

Out come the players

And we're about to start. Jimmy Anderson will bowl. More noise, at least please. 

2:02AM

A couple of weather updates

Scyld Berry writes on arrival at the Waca:

And just a few moments ago:

1:54AM

Good morning

Riddle me this: are England in the abyss or merely staring into it? Twenty-eight years ago at the Oval, Carl Rackemann turned to the Australia captain Allan Border, who was contemplating a declaration on the fourth evening of the sixth Test to chase a victory that would have won the series 5-0 instead of 4-0. "Full mental and physical disintegration" would ensue if Australia prolonged their innings beyond reason, taking all prospect of a sporting chance for England out of the reckoning, forcing them, as Gideon Haigh wrote, "into the demoralising state of bowling and fielding in futility".

Thus the term 'mental disintegration was born and though it has been misappropriated to pardon all kinds of boorish behaviour subsequently, it was initially a weapon of pure cricketing sadism rather than questioning a batsman's parentage.

That's not what Steve Smith and Mitchell Marsh were doing yesterday but it felt like it. And after a day of dominance, what else might we expect but for England to shrink in awe today and lose the Ashes, unless the rain somehow yields to all our prayers and supplications to come to their undeserved rescue.

I think a day's play like yesterday's, when England were utterly dispirited by their helplessness, is even worse psychologically than a dramatic batting collapse. Emphasising the contrast so starkly between the two attacks has left us, like Graham Gooch famously put it, dejected by the emptiness of 'farting against thunder'. 

Merry Christmas!