Yahoo Sport 
The calibre of player that will inspire wild jealousy in Liverpool's rivals
ANOTHER SWEET DEAL AT ANFIELD
A couple of years ago, our friend and yours Sid Lowe interviewed Bayern Munich’s Thiago Alcântara. The Premier League, he said, was “the league I most enjoy”, with the players at one club in particular singled out for praise. “Look at Liverpool’s midfield: Henderson, Milner, Chamberlain, they pressed like animals in [Big Cup],” he said. “They ate up the midfield. They were fantastic.” Generally the only people who talk about the press in England being like animals are put-upon, scandal-haunted celebrities, tired of being chased by moped-riding photographers and having hacks camp on their families’ front lawns, so this was definitely an improvement. But the Premier League and Liverpool’s midfield are both about to get even more popular in the Alcântara household because the Spaniard is going to be playing in them.
Related: Liverpool agree £27m fee to sign Thiago Alcântara from Bayern Munich
Though the move has been the subject of speculation for months (“I never answer these kinds of questions,” tooted Jürgen Klopp when asked about the prospect in July; “it is nice that we are linked with him … because he is a good player and Liverpool is a big club, so that is nice,” he added last week) the speed at which the deal was concluded caught many people off guard, perhaps most of all the one-time German international and former Bayern president Uli Hoeness, who on Sunday accused Liverpool of “trying to blackmail us by waiting until the last week when they’re going to make a cheap offer” [again, say it ain’t so, Uli – Fiver Ed]. How wrong could you be? In fact they would be making a cheap offer pretty much straight away. Though reports differ, word is that Bayern have accepted an initial £20m – 0.4 Ben Chilwells, if you like, or 0.7 Ollie Watkinses – for the 29-year-old and have additionally allowed Liverpool to pay it off in instalments. So, as Klopp might say, that is nice.
This is the kind of signing that is sometimes described as a game-changer, though given what Liverpool did to the league last season, the best they can hope for is a game-maintainer. Thiago is certainly the calibre of player that will inspire wild jealousy in Liverpool’s rivals. Talking of which, on Sunday Hoeness also said that Thiago “obviously has an agreement with Liverpool or Manchester United or both”, conjuring the delicious if far-fetched image of a player attempting to simultaneously represent two great adversaries. As Hoeness should know, such is those clubs’ enmity that anyone wanting to have a simultaneous agreement with both requires such a massive sweetener that the only company to manage it so far is Cadbury’s, who became the champions’ “first official global chocolate partner” this month, having come to a similar agreement with Old Trafford’s suits earlier in the year. The Fiver would very much like to have a chocolate partner, but for practical reasons has had to make do with a more traditional imaginary one.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s a game that scares us a lot. They are a team that is doing well, first in their league, and we have some [knack] problems” – Milan suit Paolo Maldini on the seven-times European champions’ Big Vase qualifying trip to Tallaght, where they’ll take on the mighty Shamrock Rovers.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Football Weekly Extra is up good and early for you.
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: knack and ineptitude (Fiver letters passim). Many years ago, playing old boys football, our right-back took a nasty tackle and collapsed clutching his leg. It looked bad. Our centre forward was in his second year of medical training at university but seemed reluctant to get involved. His excuse? ‘We haven’t done legs yet!’” – Patrick Fuller.
“Re: yesterday’s Fiver. It’s a T!tleist Pro V1 or Pro V1x” – David Fisk (and other golf pedants).
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Rollover.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Neil Warnock has tested positive for coronavirus and will miss Middlesbrough’s match against Bournemouth on Saturday.
Leeds United’s Marcelo Bielsa has offered a rebuttal to criticism regarding his selection of Kiko Casilla as captain in the defeat to Hull. The Spanish goalkeeper was banned for eight matches in February and fined £60,000 after being found guilty of racially abusing Charlton forward Jonathan Leko. “The players see in their captain someone they feel can represent them. I respect the opinions of any person,” said Bielsa. “After that opinions can be argued. Surely those who judge Kiko ignore a lot of the things his teammates see in him?”
Alexander Sørloth, who’s out on loan at Trabzonspor, is set to leave Crystal Palace to join RB Leipzig. Trabzonspor fans need not worry, as they have already signed Benik Afobe from Stoke City as a replacement.
This has got big news at 5pm written all over it: Gareth Bale and Sergio Reguilón will fly on the same private jet on Friday from Madrid to London, where they are set to put the finishing touches to their moves to Tottenham, who have also failed to snare Danny Ings from Southampton.
And Nathaniel Clyne is set to join up with his first club Crystal Palace, in the hope of earning a contract from Mr Roy after being released by Liverpool. “We are happy to welcome him back into the fold and give him that opportunity,” roared Mr Roy.
STILL WANT MORE?
The painful demise of Macclesfield Town. By John Brewin.
Serie A is back, baby! Nicky Bandini tells you everything you need to know.
Sergio Reguilón and Gareth Bale are set to join Spurs from Real Madrid. Martin Laurence tells us where they fill fit in.
Ben Fisher had a natter with Derby’s Louie Sibley, who talks about being as angry as Wayne Rooney.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
