How do NBA fans know when it's time to finally stop refreshing the feeds of their favorite reporters?
The Carmelo Anthony summer workout videos are here. Cue the isolations!
— ESPN (@espn) August 1, 2019
NBA OFFSEASON GRADES:
Clippers, Nets, Lakers emerge from chaos as big winners
Yes, Anthony is still searching for a new contract months after being traded by the Rockets and subsequently waived by the Bulls. The consistent questions about Anthony's willingness to sacrifice and accept a lesser role could be limiting his market, but his trainer Chris Brickley says Anthony simply wants to end his career on a positive note.
"He's easily better than 60 percent, 70 percent of NBA players walking around," Brickley said on "The Breakfast Club" when asked about Anthony's future. "I think teams are afraid of, 'I want to be a starter,' or 'I want this.' That's not the case, though. Melo just wants to have a final season, have a farewell season, do what (Dwyane Wade) did. Do the jersey swap.
"He had a great career. He's a Hall of Famer. So hopefully that can happen."
Anthony has 30 possibilities (technically) on the table. Why would each team take a chance on the 10-time All-Star?
Trigger the League Pass alert for Anthony and Jabari Parker battling for the most contested pull-up jumpers. It's the Spider-Man meme NBA Twitter deserves.
How entertaining would it be to watch Marcus Smart cover for both Anthony and Enes Kanter defensively? He'd look like a first-time babysitter chasing twins around the house.
Kevin Durant will likely miss the entirety of the 2019-20 season, but don't worry. Anthony can replicate that production at forward — it's just going to take significantly more shots.
Because, really, does anything matter at this point?
The Bulls have been far too smart this offseason. A random signing brings balance to the basketball universe.
So Anthony and Kevin Love can form the R&B group "Melo Love" and create the hit single "Cleveland Rocks (That Body)."
Give us the Melo and Kristaps Porzingis buddy cop show we never truly had in New York.
Admit it. Anthony returning to Denver to close the final chapter of his career would be legitimately cool. Whip out those old powder blues, baby.
You know what? This roster is already too weird. Skip it.
Golden State Warriors
Anthony can handle a few possessions when Stephen Curry and D'Angelo Russell sub out to ice their shoulders after launching 20 3-pointers in the first half.
Rockets general manager Daryl Morey should sign Anthony and act like the first attempt didn't happen to mess with us. Use the same quotes and everything. Force everyone to go along with it. I'm here for an elaborate prank.
Melo's nickname in high school was TJ, so he will fit perfectly alongside TJ Leaf, T.J. McConnell and T.J. Warren.
(Don't fact-check that. It's definitely true. Tell all of your friends).
Los Angeles Clippers
IT WOULD BE PRETTY DAMN COOL. WOOOOO!
Steve Ballmer is just a little bit excited about the Clippers adding Kawhi Leonard and Paul George.pic.twitter.com/8aVnwNPmA9
— Sporting News NBA (@sn_nba) July 24, 2019
Los Angeles Lakers
Anthony has been connected to the Lakers for quite some time. We could run through the reasons why this makes sense, but really we just need a new topic of conversation because this debate about LeBron James being a supportive dad in public is really dumb.
Ja Morant and Jaren Jackson Jr. can give Anthony money to buy them beer.
The Heat will require scoring from someone other than Jimmy Butler. It can't all fall on Dion Waiter's shoulders. (Sure, that's exactly what Waiters wants, but it's not the best plan).
The Bucks don't have the kind of veteran who can stop the Lopez brothers from fighting OR HE WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND.
Actually, cancel that Spider-Man meme for the Hawks. We've got Anthony vs. Andrew Wiggins. My bad, guys.
New Orleans Pelicans
When LaVar Ball inevitably says something ridiculous about Anthony ... this is the interaction we want. Melo is not a man to be trifled with.
— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) December 16, 2017
New York Knicks
Had the Knicks signed multiple stars in free agency, they would have considered bringing Anthony back to Madison Square Garden, according to The Athletic's Shams Charania. As it currently stands, New York is a likely lottery team with a power forward fixation. There isn't much harm in adding Melo for his farewell season, especially if the front office wants to upset Phil Jackson.
Oklahoma City Thunder
With Russell Westbrook and Paul George gone, there are rebounds up for grabs. Get the f— out of Melo's way!
Melo said “Ah gtfoh Russ” he wanted that rebound pic.twitter.com/v611dy8co1
— BATTLES NBA™ (@BattlesNBA) October 20, 2017
"Guards are for cowards." — Magic's 2019-20 marketing slogan
It's clear the Sixers don't have nearly enough tall people on their roster. Insert the 6-8 forward out of Syracuse.
Portland Trail Blazers
Hey, Damian Lillard supports Anthony signing!
But with another team. Damn.
We don’t have money. But Melo should be playin https://t.co/E1chjpBlkn
— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) July 29, 2019
Kings vice president of basketball operations Vlade Divac can feel young again. Anthony's rookie year (2003-04) coincided with Divac's final season as a Sacramento player. Smoke another cigarette to the good ol' days, Vlade.
San Antonio Spurs
MIDRANGE, GENTLEMAN. MIDRANGE IS WHERE WE LIVE. DON'T YOU GO VENTURING OUT TOO FAR NOW. THAT'S DANGEROUS.
Canada, here's your Kawhi Leonard replacement! (Keep celebrating that title. Don't think too hard about this).
Nature hikes seem enjoyable. Let Anthony lead Utah's nature hikes.
Isaiah Thomas-Carmelo Anthony pick-and-pops would be fun to explain for time travelers from 2016.