Your club’s worst player... EVER! As voted for by the fans

Accrington Stanley (Justin Jackson)

By Lee Walker (@leewasi)

Stanley have had some truly abysmal strikers over the years, but the majority of those arrived on free transfers or loans, and with little or no previous history.

Jackson, however, is an exception to the rule having been signed for £150,000 by his previous club Doncaster. Perhaps we should have known when Rovers’ chairman decided to pay up his contract.

Still, having arrived on a free, much was expected of Jackson after productive spells in the Conference, where he was top scorer in the 1999/2000 season. It wasn’t to be: after a couple of appearances (including one of Stanley's classic FA Cup wins against Huddersfield in 2003, it should be noted) he was moved on six weeks later after failing to turn up for training.

You can see Jackson below, wearing No.24, dancing around during the celebrations against Huddersfield. Needless to say, he’s not remembered for much else.

AFC Wimbledon (Andre Blackman)

By Gary Jordan (@Gazjor1)

The 26-year-old-back left-back was on the books of both Arsenal and Tottenham at youth level – but that’s as good as it got. After being released by Bristol City for a “disciplinary matter”, he landed at AFC Wimbledon in June 2010.

An OK pre-season included a winner against an Arsenal XI, and he duly got the nod for first-team duties. But only 13 league appearances (and six yellow cards) later, Blackman was deemed “surplus to requirements”.

His temperament always overshadowed any ability he may have had. Unbelievably he landed at Celtic next – if not for long – but duly failed to hit double figures for appearances at seven clubs after AFC Wimbledon (including a brief stint in Morocco). He’s now finally found a home at Crawley, where he’s a first-team regular.

(There’s no AFC Wimbledon clip, but this sums him up nicely.)

Arsenal (Igor Stepanovs)

By Tim Stillman (@Stillberto)

Like Gus Caesar, Stepanovs will only ever be remembered for one game.

Arsenal travelled to Old Trafford in February 2001 with a depleted defence; thus, a back four of Oleg Luzhny, Gilles Grimandi, a young Ashley Cole and Stepanovs were torn limb from limb by United, who had raced into a 5-1 lead by half-time and eventually won 6-1.

Dwight Yorke had netted a hat trick by the 35th minute, with the gangly Latvian centre-back trailing comically in his wake. That Stepanovs started nine consecutive games in the spring of 2002 – during the Gunners’ Double-winning run – will be forgotten, his brief Arsenal legacy forever besmirched by that fateful afternoon in Manchester.

Ray Parlour spins a good yarn about him and his Gunners team-mates deliberately overstating Stepanovs’ ability to Arsene Wenger while the stopper was on trial, in order to wind up the notoriously anxious Martin Keown. Talk about a joke backfiring.

Aston Villa (Aleksandar Tonev)

By Ian Woodcock (@Ian_A_Woodcock)

The words ‘worst’ and ‘Aston Villa’ have spent a concerning amount of time together over recent years. So with that in mind, I've plumped for a player who was – if only briefly – part of the club's decline.

Aleksandar Tonev arrived at Villa Park in the summer of 2013 with a recommendation from countryman and Villa legend Stiliyan Petrov, plus the customary YouTube video of him scoring goals from miles out.

Sadly, what Villa got was a midfielder who couldn’t tackle, pass or cross. The shots which had bothered Bulgarian nets now either flew over the bar or dribbled forlornly past the post. Not that it stopped Tonev attempting them from 40 yards whenever he’d found his way onto the pitch.

Villa won just two of his 17 league appearances, and he was farmed out on loan to Celtic for the next season. Tonev endured an equally unhappy time north of the border after he was handed a seven-match ban for racially abusing Aberdeen full-back Shay Logan.

He's currently on the verge of being relegated to Serie B with Crotone, having achieved the same feat with Frosinone last season. Aleksandar the not-so-great.

Barnet (Mark Flashman)

By @Barnet_Bee

http://www.times-series.co.uk/sport/barnet_fc/

Check out the forum thread yourself: Flashman has cropped up a number of times in there. Even then, the comments perhaps don’t justify him.

Mark Flashman, son of then-chairman Stan, played a number of games under Barry Fry in the late 1980s. Whether or not he was in the team because of family relations is for the cynics to decide but, playing second fiddle to regular keeper Gary Phillips, he enjoyed a few run-outs in the first team.

Flashman played the final day of one Conference season, with the first team rested for a local League Cup final the next day, and had an utter howler as they were humiliated 5-1.

During one reserves game he received some heckling from a Barnet fan, which riled Daddy Stan enough to ask whether the critic ‘would like to keep his legs’. He replied that it would do the club a favour if Mark lost his – and quickly left the stadium.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Barnsley (Mounir El Haimour)

By Simon Gaskell (@simongaskell)

Honourable mentions go to Kevin Donovan, Don Goodman, Deon Burton, Isaiah Rankin and Lee Crooks, but it’s a man who arrived from Swiss football that sadly sticks in the memory.

Moroccan Mounir El Haimour was one of a number of imports brought in by Simon Davey during the summer of 2008, arriving from Copy & Paste’s Neuchâtel Xamax. And while no doubt arriving in Barnsley was a culture shock for him, watching El Haimour play was an even bigger shock for Tykes.

The winger was a stooping, diminutive character, and what he lacked in stature he by no means made up for in technique. He was ostensibly a playmaker as left-footed as Lionel Messi – just without goals, assists or ability to pass accurately to a bloke stood 10 metres away.

Thankfully he was often on the bench, and I have a clear memory of the half-time drill where subs stand in a circle and attempt to keep the ball in the air. It regularly broke down when it got to El Haimour.

His Wikipedia page seems stuck in time; the most up-to-date entry says he is unemployed after being released by Barnsley (in 2010), suggesting he was unable to find another club following his time in South Yorkshire. It really is little wonder.

Birmingham City (Carlo(s) Costly)

By Luke Turner (@lukeee_96)

He seems to have changed his first name to 'Carlo' since, but he was definitely 'Carlos' when he was at Birmingham. And he was also rubbish.

Birmingham have never been blessed with outstanding quality, which makes choosing the worst player we've ever had very difficult. But still: former Honduras striker Costly manages to stick out.

Brought in on loan to help add goals and win the Blues promotion, Costly failed to score in eight appearances for Alex McLeish’s side in the 2008/09 Championship season. A horrendous one-on-one miss against Crystal Palace in his first start set the tone for his stay, and the team scored just once while he was on the pitch.

Birmingham still went up but it certainly didn’t have anything to do with the Honduran. Costly is best remembered for his trademark drag-back skill known as the ‘Costlynha’ back in Honduras, which was mocked by the St Andrew’s crowd every time he attempted it. Perhaps most impressive, though, was how he managed to fall over his own feet in the warm-up before one game.

The bizarre thing is that Costly actually has a decent record at both club and international level. Sadly for us, though, his stay in the West Midlands didn’t live up to expectation.

Blackburn Rovers (Leon Best)

By Mike Delap (@MikeyDelap)

I did a little crowdsourcing on this one via Twitter, and a lot of the votes were cast for players who've ‘graced’ the club over the last four or five years. That’s unsurprising really, since we've been terrible in the main. Someone who can’t escape this, however, is Leon Best.

Signed to mild fanfare from Newcastle for relatively eye-watering money – over £3m, plus wages near £40,000 per week – Best spent about three weeks being useful (post-major injury setback) and then the rest of his time causing dressing room unrest, being loathed for his attitude, packed off on loan ruining other club's efforts, and posting on Instagram.

We've had plenty of rubbish players in our time, but rarely to such disruptive effect.

Blackpool (Richard Kingson)

By Kieran Newcombe (@kierannewcombe)

The Ghanaian goalkeeper came in part-way through the 2010/11 Premier League season as back-up to Matt Gilks – but (unfortunately) he was called into action after an injury to Gilks ruled him out for the rest of the season.

Kingson came in and had moments of brilliance, but will unfortunately be remembered for his moments of madness. In one game at Blackburn in March 2011, Blackpool threw away a 2-0 lead to draw 2-2, with Junior Hoilett scoring in injury time after Kingson had fluffed his handling of a free-kick.

Many Pool fans put a sizeable amount of blame for relegation on his shoulders, and it came as no surprise when he was released at the end of the season. It was two years before he got another club, in Cyprus; since then he’s played in Turkey, and is currently back in his hometown of Accra, Ghana.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Bolton Wanderers (Gerald Cid)

By Tom Winrow

When deciding upon Bolton's worst-ever player, the chances were that it was always going to be a Sam Allardyce signing. Sure, the Dudley-ite had an eye for untapped potential, but he often saw abilities in a player that were never really there. For every unearthed gem, there was a disaster story. For every Jay-Jay Okocha, a Blessing Kaku. For every Djorkaeff, a Jardel.

Step forward Allardyce's last-ever Bolton signing, Gerald Cid. Labelled by Big Sam in 2006 as "one of the best young defenders in France", Cid would go on to make just 14 appearances for Wanderers, finding himself on the losing side eight times. One anomaly in his otherwise-horrendous Bolton career was the surprisingly brilliant performance in the 2-2 Europa League draw with Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena.

Cid left the Reebok after just 18 months at the club when his contract was cancelled by "mutual consent". Both parties mutually agreed that he shouldn't be seen anywhere near a Premier League football pitch again. Following two seasons at Nice he retired in 2010, aged just 27, citing a loss of love for football.

Bournemouth (Frank Demouge)

By Chris Lines (@NarrowTheAngle)

It would seem a prerequisite for a club’s worst-ever player to be one who promised much and delivered nothing. Step forward, then, Frank Demouge. Signed in 2012 at the recommendation of the board (uh oh), he sounded like the sort of talismanic striker Bournemouth needed.

Described as big and powerful, Demouge had a pedigree of scoring hatfuls in Dutch football. But as we know, goals in the Eredivisie are like dog years in reverse; divide by seven to get your expected goal return in England.

What we also failed to deduce in our doubtless-rigorous and in no way quarter-arsed scouting of Big Frank was that he was, in fact, the first Airfix model footballer, assembled out of balsa wood and Pritt Stick by a cack-handed child. Even the BBC website story announcing his signing was accompanied by a photo of him with a heavily bandaged head and a black eye. In one of his two (two!) appearances, he even managed to break his chin. Who breaks their chin?

“He will cause teams problems,” said blank-faced simpleton boss Paul Groves. The only team he caused a problem for was Bournemouth.

Bradford (Jason Gavin)

By Jason McKeown (@TheWidthofaPost)

https://widthofapost.com/

The 2003/04 season was supposed to be a celebration for Bradford. Instead, we marked our centenary by going into administration and feebly getting relegated. Our cause was undermined by a backline that featured Jason Gavin.

Gavin was a young Middlesbrough defender with a supposedly-bright future – amazingly, he’d played 31 Premier League games. But after joining the Bantams we failed to see that pedigree. Week in, week out, City would toil hard but make mistakes at the back that lost them the game – and in so many of those weeks, they came from Gavin.

He wasn’t comfortable on the ball, nor strong in the air, and when an opposition player received the ball in the box he exuded panic.

For his general ineptitude, and association with one of City’s worst-ever seasons, Gavin’s name can still trigger an involuntary shudder for those of us who endured his 41 appearances in claret and amber.

(He is No.17 and gives away the penalty six seconds in.)

Brentford (Murray Jones)

By Nick Bruzon (@NickBruzon)

Neil Shipperley. Steve Claridge. Nick Proschwitz. John Swift. We’ve had some stinkers over the years. Yet ask any five Brentford fans who our worst-ever footballer was and you can guarantee at least five of them will mention one name: Murray Jones.

It wasn’t that he was bad – he was beyond that. Ali Dia will forever be the great fraud, but it was almost as though the same stunt had been tried at Griffin Park back in 1992/93, after centre-back Keith Millen had apparently recommended the player to Bees management.

With Brentford having finally reached the second tier, Jones was tasked with filling the boots of Premier League-bound Dean Holdsworth. Deano’s 38 goals from 52 appearances in our title-winning season had earned him a move to Wimbledon, and so Jones was brought in to replace him from Grimsby.

Yet while Dia lasted less than an hour before he was eventually rumbled, striker Jones limped on for 20 appearances until March 1993 without scoring. Nobody could doubt his effort, but it was painful to watch; there was an almost-ghoulish interest in wondering how long his streak would last.

Eventually, even manager Phil Holder had to call it a day. The nadir came in Jones’s failure to find the net against nine-man Swindon. Murray truly was anything but mint (although he did later play in China for a bit, so perhaps he was just cool before his time).

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Brighton (Michael Mahoney-Johnson)

Scott McCarthy (@wearebrighton)

http://www.wearebrighton.com/

Playing in a side that finished second-bottom of the entire Football League with 35 points, saved only from non-league football by the sheer miracle that there was a Doncaster team even worse, it takes something special to look more useless than your terrible team-mates.

Take a bow, then, Michael Mahoney-Johnson. The striker arrived at the Albion on loan from QPR, playing a grand total of four games. Those four games ended 0-0, 0-2, 0-0 and 0-0, with Mahoney-Johnson particularly distinguished by failing to manage a shot on target, let alone score a goal.

Needless to say, his temporary stay wasn’t extended. The fact we’re now able to lump into the same bracket a player who’s racked up millions in transfer fees like Leon Best, after an equally disastrous loan spell in 2014/15, shows how far we’ve come in the last 20 years.

Bristol City (Bas Savage)

By Patrick Connolly (@Bristolpat)

Savage was a much-loved figure at Ashton Gate, and is still talked about affectionately today. He always gave 100%, and because of this became a cult hero with the fans. It’s just that he wasn’t very good at football.

Bas was a 6ft 3in centre-forward. He joined in 2005 having played 25 career games elsewhere, and never having scored a goal. We soon saw why. Recently I was reminded of the time when Bas trapped the ball and made a short pass. The Bristol City crowd erupted like we’d won the Champions League.

It’s a little harsh to call him our worst-ever player when so many better men have played so terribly for us; not least Nicky Hunt, Jody Morris and ex-England keeper David James.

But still: Savage played 23 games for City and scored one goal. His celebration is still remembered by everyone who was there – and many who weren’t.

Bristol Rovers (Andy Spring)

By Nathan Bees (@nathbees)

In taking to Twitter to gauge the opinion of Gasheads about who deserved this title, my phone went into meltdown. I instantly received dozens of notifications nominating the same player: Andy Spring – a legend for all the wrong reasons.

He featured for us before I was born, but the general consensus is that he was an “overweight, untalented, unfit, Sunday League defender”. One Gashead said his step-dad used to laugh out loud every time Spring touched the ball in sheer disbelief that a player so bad was being paid to play professionally.

That in itself might make him a worthy recipient of this accolade, but he achieved notoriety for his off-field antics rather than his lack of ability. He was sacked by Rovers after being found guilty of burglary, moved to Ireland and then, unbelievably, won the Irish national lottery! Where is the justice?

Burnley (Leon Cort)

Jamie Smith (@NoNayNever)

Burnley's worst-ever player might be a touch harsh, but Leon Cort is certainly the club's worst player for a long time.

Bought by Brian Laws from Stoke in 2010 to shore up a leaky defence after Owen Coyle's defection to Bolton, the centre-back frequently seemed confused as to what he was doing playing in the Premier League – a feeling supporters shared.

Lacking mobility to the extent of looking like Bambi’s slow cousin on ice, Cort was a sign of the club’s muddled thinking back then. He cost over £2m in fees and wages – loads for Burnley at that time – before being bombed out to League One Charlton after just 19 appearances. Urgh.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Burton Albion (Guy Branston)

By Anton Williams (@monkeynuts87)

Since joining the Football League in 2009, the Brewers have made a few interesting signings who split opinion. For me, though, the worst player we’ve had on our books in that time was Guy Branston.

Supposedly an experienced centre-half in League football, Branston came to the Brewers from Kettering and was made club captain – but by January he was being loaned to Torquay after a less-than-impressive few months at Burton.

In his brief spell with the Brewers he made 19 appearances – and managed to get himself sent off three times.

(Not from his Burton days, but Guy in shapshot. Accompanying commentary necessary.)

We never really found out the true potential of his football ability, but his conduct on and off the pitch is what the Brewers fans remember about him. As Jeff Stelling used to say on Soccer Saturday when Guy was sent off: “Oh dear, Branston’s got himself in a pickle again.”

Bury (Gareth Roberts)

By Liam Smith (@liam_bish_smith)

After Bury's relegation to League Two following a dismal 2012/13 season, boss Kevin Blackwell had the task of rebuilding a squad to compete in the fourth tier.

One of his first signings of the season was Gareth Roberts. The 35-year-old had played 29 Championship games for Derby in the previous campaign, and was quickly declared the new captain of the club. Fans were excited about the new additions – but that didn’t last long.

The Shakers were defeated 2-0 on the opening day of the season, and it quickly became apparent that Gareth turned at a slower rate than milk. After a few games Bury found themselves just above the relegation zone, and Roberts was taking a lot of the blame.

At times it felt like a five-year-old could organise a romantic weekend in Rome better than Roberts could marshal a defence. Unsurprisingly, he went on to make just 13 appearances for the Shakers that season before being released in January by new boss David Flitcroft.

Roberts’ agent worked his magic and miraculously got him a move to League One side Notts County, where he played six times as they marginally avoided relegation.

Cambridge United (Daryl Clare)

By Scott McGeorge (@Scotty_mc10)

Clare arrived from Gateshead for £10,000 in 2010, which seemed like a decent piece of business considering he’d been a regular thorn in our side during his time in Conference football.

The striker signed a two-year deal but only lasted 15 months at the club, managing a solitary goal in 20 appearances – much to the dismay of the Cambridge fans who’d been purring at the thought of seeing the possibly-potent frontman in amber and black.

Instead, Clare was turfed out on loan to Alfreton and mutually released from his contract shortly after.

Cardiff (Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu)

By Steve Davies-Evans (@The_Real_SDE)

It's sad that trying to think of the worst-ever Cardiff player is a lot harder than you might think. Like everyone else we’ve had some absolute howlers, and although they didn't make the final cut, there are big shout-outs to the likes of Dean Gordon, Stephen Bywater, Dimi Konstantopoulos and J-Lloyd Samuel – all particularly terrible when they pulled on a Bluebirds shirt.

But after much deliberation and a lack of sleep, I ended up plumping for the one and only Guylain Ndumbu-Nsungu.

Dave Jones did some fantastic business during his time at Cardiff, but signing the man affectionately known as "Congo Dave" did not fall into such a bracket.

The striker (apparently) with an unspellable name was signed from Darlington in January 2006 after he’d scored 10 goals in 20 games for the Quakers. In reality, though, he was better at finding half-time fans’ Bovrils than the back of the net.

No goals in 11 appearances for Cardiff meant he was released at the end of the season, but he’ll forever remain in Bluebirds folklore... I think.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Carlisle (Steve Livingstone)

By Lee Rooney (@leerooney)

Following in the footsteps of his father Joe Livingstone – 42 goals in 82 appearances for Carlisle in the 1960s – Steve arrived from Grimsby (where he remains a popular figure) in the summer of 2003.

He was meant to fill the targetman void, but his career at Brunton Park was an unmitigated disaster. He was sent off barely half an hour into his debut on the opening day of the season against York after a clash with Chris Brass (he of wonderful own goal fame, who Livingstone appeared to bite).

Boss Paul Simpson (who’d replaced Roddy Collins, the man who signed Steve) tried him out at centre-back after a hopeless run up front – but his first game in the new role led to yet another red card, this time against Lincoln.

The stats speak for themselves: nine appearances, three yellow cards, two red cards and zero goals. Livingstone retired early in January 2004, and it’s safe to say no one in Cumbria was particularly gutted to see him leave.

Charlton (Yohann Thuram-Ulien)

By Matias Grez (@matias_grez)

The name alone is enough to send a shiver down spines – Thuram-Ulien quickly proved that he and cousin Lillian don't share a single strand of footballing DNA.

He isn’t just named here for his inability to even slightly resemble a competent professional goalkeeper, but for what he symbolises under the current Roland Duchatelet regime too. According to reports, former manager Chris Powell was ordered to play him (by Duchatelet, of course) ahead of Ben Hamer for four matches (results: L3 D1). After that he went AWOL, refusing to travel to a game at Leeds in a huff at not being played regularly.

In truth, any number of signings from Duchatelet's European network could have taken the crown. But for his sheer incompetence it has to be Thuram-Ulien – not even Powell’s replacement, the Duchatelet yes man Jose Riga, thought he was good enough.

Chelsea (Chris Sutton)

By @ChelseaStats

Sutton isn’t Chelsea’s worst-ever player, but he’s high on the list for disappointment – enough to earn him this vote, anyway.

The striker joined the Blues for a hefty £10m from Blackburn in 1999, with a rich top-flight scoring pedigree and Premier League winner’s medal to his name. But he failed to live up to expectations, scoring just three goals in 39 appearances in all competitions.

The only highlight was his solitary league goal against Manchester United in a 5-0 win for Claudio Ranieri’s side, and it came as no surprise when he was sold to Celtic a year and six days after joining, for £6m.

Sutton's rare moment of glory at 0:33

For me, that expenditure and subsequent disappointment ranks him above the likes of Mineiro and Slavisa Jokanovic.

Cheltenham (Craig Braham-Barrett)

By Oli Fell (@OJF97)

Cheltenham's relegated side of 2015 featured a number of contenders for this unwanted title, but it’s Braham-Barrett who claims it. (Just a dishonourable mention for Mathieu Manset, then.)

Braham-Barrett initially signed on loan in the 2013/14 season, but after impressing early on in the season he was offered a two-year-deal. After joining permanently, though, his performances spiralled badly and he could never regain his form.

However, his 'crowning' moment at the club was undoubtedly when he – along with Jermaine McGlashan – admitted to not trying in a training session before a 2-0 defeat at Rochdale. Exposed by keeper Scott Brown in an interview after the game, Braham-Barrett issued an apology to Cheltenham fans and only spent one more year at the club.

In the years he was with us, Cheltenham finished 16th and 23rd – the latter our first relegation back to non-league. He currently plies his trade for Braintree Town.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Chesterfield (Jason Lee)

By Rob Cole (@robcole_91)

There’s a vast choice of players I’ve questioned who could possibly be professional at Chesterfield. Jason Lee is one – our record signing who managed one measly goal in 44 games, tripping over his shoelaces after rounding the goalkeeper.

Was there ever a bigger waste of £250,000? Not at Chesterfield, anyway.

“It was disgusting, the old Saltergate,” Lee huffed on Soccer AM years later. “I was the record signing and the club signed me on the premise that they’d be getting a new stadium – but I didn’t see it. It was just horrible.”

Lee had three seasons of top-flight football behind him at Nottingham Forest, and the year before signing for us had helped Graham Taylor’s Watford win the old Second Division with 10 league goals.

In truth, the only reason he signed for us was because he didn’t want to move his family out of Nottingham, and we were close – but how we wish he hadn’t. In his second season he was chucked out on loan to Peterborough, then joined them permanently before sliding down the League system.

Colchester United (Adrian Coote)

By Jon Waldron (@JonWaldron1)

There wasn’t much doubt about striker Coote’s ability or talent – anyone who can make more than 50 appearances for a club like Norwich and also represent his country can hardly be lacking in skill.

But when the Northern Ireland international arrived at Colchester in 2001 for a then-club record fee of £50,000, a great deal more was expected of him than what was ultimately produced – which is why his abject failure at Layer Road was such a huge disappointment at the time.

After less than two years at Colchester – and having mustered a measly four goals – the striker was released by mutual consent.

Coote ended up playing at the U’s neighbours Wivenhoe Town and a succession of other non-league minnows, before hanging up his boots while still in his early thirties.

Coventry (Kevin Kyle)

By Laurence Kilpatrick (@Thelonelyseason)

http://thelonelyseason.club/

After sifting through the glut of Sky Blue contenders, it’s only fair to shame someone who’s tarnished at least a season’s worth of fixtures with their singular breed of ineptitude.

Admittedly, it wasn’t his fault that he – the human tower of Buckfast – was signed as cultured golden boy Gary McSheffrey’s overpaid replacement (a decision about as progressive as lobbing your 3D printer out the window and dusting off the hammer and sickle). In Kyle’s own words: “I was on a hiding to nothing from the start.”

Whether it was his predecessor’s shadow, or the blend of lazy, attritional football his brutal physicality encouraged, Kyle was universally disliked – a fact not lost on his big, angry face.

In his best game for the club, a 2-1 home win over Southampton, he got an assist and a goal – but in classic Kyle style (and who can blame him?) even his celebration was a taunting hand to the ear (quickly replaced with a Shearer arm raise) aimed at the incorrigible terraces.

In his last five appearances we conceded 14 goals and lost every one. Everything came to a head in his final game when, desperate to win us over, he got sent off and was booed/cheered from the pitch. After a stint cleaning ferry toilets he’s now – weirdly enough – hitting the target for a living, as a semi-professional darts player.

Crawley (Gavin Tomlin)

By Carol Bates (@CarolBates)

After a consensus of opinion, Nick Carter is probably our worst player ever – he was one of the owners' sons and unkindly referred to recently on social media as the "worst player, best bib, ball and cone collector".

But his impact was minimal. Therefore, a special mention has to go to Gavin Tomlin, who had a torrid time at Crawley from 2014-16 after signing from Port Vale. He looked unable to control a ball, pass accurately, or – unhelpfully for a striker – score.

We’ll give him this, though: one of his three league goals in 51 appearances and two years at the Broadfield Stadium was a late winner at Swindon, celebrated like we'd won the FA Cup. It was totally unexpected, and we hadn't beaten Swindon in a long time. That, however, was the only silver lining.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Crewe Alexandra (Jamie Moralee)

By Matt Withers (@mattwithers)

Despite playing just 20 games for the club between 1996 and 1998, Moralee’s name remains comic shorthand for the kind of low-calibre strikers Crewe Alexandra seemed to specialise in signing around the time.

Let go by Watford (legend has it that his agent told him “the Beatles were rejected by EMI before they struck it big”), the former £450,000 man came to Gresty Road with slight celebrity cachet, having received tabloid interest in his liaison with soap star Daniella Westbrook.

But that soon waned as, in two years, he not only failed to score but never even came close, wandering confusedly around the opposition half as if he’d won a charity raffle to play. On the one occasion he looked set to take a shot, against Bournemouth in December 1996, fellow frontman Dele Adebola was so concerned that he nicked the ball off him and put it away.

Moralee went on to play in the Champions League – for Barry Town… who beat Porto 3-1 (in a 9-3 aggregate defeat, mind).

Crystal Palace (Jordon Mutch)

By Jack Pierce (@Jackpierce88)

It’s perhaps a little harsh to label Mutch the worst of all time, but given the relative expense and non-existent return, he gets the nod.

Some players split supporters, but not Mutch. Shortly after making his debut in January 2015, the jury had decided: this guy was not for us.

Signed for a reported £4.75m from QPR by Alan Pardew, Mutch never got going. In acquiring him, Pardew – a manager so restricted in terms of recruitment at Newcastle – appeared willing to spend cash on anyone he could.

Mutch failed to impress as a box-to-box midfielder, a playmaker and in a deep lying role. In two years, his most memorable moments at the club have been a decent 10 minutes at the Liberty Stadium in a 1-1 draw, and an interview with the club’s online TV service during which he went to a café.

Currently on loan at Reading and technically still a Palace player, there aren’t many yearning for his return. When it comes to Jordon, it’s sadly been Mutch Ado About Nothing.

Derby (Claude Davis)

By Ollie Wright (@derbycountyblog)

http://www.derbycountyblog.com/

For Derby’s nadir, it’s impossible to ignore 2007/08. I considered nominating that season’s whole squad, but the enduring symbol of the record-breaking incompetence we endured that year was Billy Davies’ idea of a £3m centre-back.

Even among the raft of embarrassing signings Davies made that summer – other hopeless cases included Andy Todd, Eddie Lewis and Andy Griffin – Davis takes the crown. Rapidly earning nicknames like ‘Calamity Claude’ and ‘Clod’ – to select some publishable ones – the diabolical defender was found out horribly in the Premier League and his reputation was shattered so thoroughly that he eventually had his contract cancelled.

When he returned to Pride Park with Crystal Palace – for whom he was equally appalling – the next season, he committed an error so crass for Derby’s fifth goal that you'd have suspected a better player of trying to make amends to the home fans.

Doncaster (Aaron Taylor-Sinclair)

By Rob Johnson

Given that Doncaster hold the record for the highest number of losses in a single season (34, if you're wondering), it’s quite difficult to pick just one player as the worst to wear the red-and-white hoops.

Most of the players involved in that disastrous season only played a handful of games, however, so in terms of longevity there can be only one 'winner'.

Aaron Taylor-Sinclair arrived from Wigan at the start of the 2015/16 season to bolster our promotion push. He featured in 49 games and never once resembled a footballer in any of them as Donny slumped to relegation – a full-back that can't tackle, pass or cross a ball, who became a symbol of our monstrous failure.

Amazingly, he is still at the club but has been injured for the entirety of a season that currently sees Rovers top of League Two. This is not a coincidence.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Everton (Glenn Keeley)

By Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999)

Keeley wasn't a bad player, but in 37 unforgettable minutes (it's true, I've tried) he became Everton's worst.

On loan from Blackburn, the big centre-half wasn't match-fit nor attuned to the new rule about "the professional foul" which made for an automatic sending off – but he was cruelly pitched into Goodison's cauldron, 52,741 fans roiling on the terraces and not a neutral among them.

Liverpool had Dalglish, Rush, Souness, Hansen and Lawrenson in peak form and, to resist them, we had Keeley. At least we did, until he grabbed at Dalglish's shirt (the closest he got to him all day) and jogged off after seeing red.

In a match where a 0-10 scoreline wouldn’t have flattered the Reds, I’d left after four had gone in. The horror!

But that Everton team also included Southall, Heath, Sharp, Sheedy and Richardson. It’s always darkest before dawn, they say – and they (whoever that might be) were right.

The 'highlights' (I'm in the top left corner of the Gwladys Street End)

Exeter City (Rohan Ricketts)

By Josh Denham

Ricketts, an ex-Arsenal and Tottenham youth player who’d been around the block and back again more than once – Exeter were his 12th club by the age of 29 – arrived at St James Park with self-confidence in spades.

“I know I am good enough to play in the Premier League, I have the ability and the football brain but it is about getting the opportunity,” he said upon signing for the Grecians, his first English club in four years.

But, given such a platform, he donned the red-and-white shirt for all of 50 minutes in his only appearance (off the bench) before citing 'personal reasons' for leaving inside a month.

It turned out that he’d actually just got a better offer from Indian club Dempo, which he followed up with moves to Ecuador, Thailand, Hong Kong, Bangladesh and… er, Leatherhead (where he lasted just over a month under Jimmy Bullard). Oh, Rohan.

Fleetwood (Richard Brodie)

By John Woolfenden (@TheWulfster)

This is actually a tough one to answer as a Fleetwood fan – believe it or not, in general we’ve had more than our fair share of good players.

Looking back, though, it must be Brodie. The lad wasn’t without talent, but was a complete headcase. On the day he signed on loan from Crawley for the 2011/12 season, he was in my local on the lash.

Brodie scored twice and was sent off within the first 30 minutes of a 6-0 local derby win over Southport (a brace for Jamie Vardy too in that game, if you’re asking). He once got booked against Yeovil in an FA Cup replay… and wasn't even on the pitch.

Nine goals in 34 Conference games isn’t a horrible record, but Brodie was the sort of player you look back on and think, "What a waste".

Fulham (Mark Fotheringham)

By Thomas McIlroy (@thomasmcilroy)

There can’t be many players who sum up Felix Magath’s reign at Fulham more than Fotheringham. The Whites had just been relegated from the Premier League, Magath was talking about going straight back up (how wrong he was) – and then signed Fotheringham before the start of the 2014/15 season.

The 30-year-old midfielder had been released by League One side Notts County at the end of the previous season, but somehow landed himself a one-year deal at Craven Cottage.

Fulham really should have realised then that Magath had absolutely no idea about how to get them out of the Championship – and sure enough, Fotheringham was out of his depth in the three appearances he made.

After Magath was sacked in September, Fotheringham was shown the door in January by new boss Kit Symons. He picked up more yellow cards (2) than he made successful tackles (1) during his time at Craven Cottage.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Gillingham (Adam Miller)

By Danny Smith (@NiceMarker)

Miller was one of several non-league players signed in 2007 by manager Mark Stimson, who emphatically failed to prevent the Gills getting relegated at the end of that season. Miller stood out because of the massive disparity between what the manager apparently saw in him (hard work and determination) and what everyone else in the stands saw (consistent ineffectiveness).

Miller’s Gillingham career was encapsulated by the televised third-round FA Cup tie against Aston Villa in 2009. Handed the captaincy for the big occasion, he ran around looking busy and pointed a lot, which would no doubt have pleased his boss.

Unfortunately for Gillingham, he was also at fault for the first goal after being caught in possession in his own half, before giving away a late penalty for what turned out to be the winner. As usual Miller tried hard, but in truth he should probably have never left the Conference.

Grimsby (Adam Buckley)

By Charles Simons

Harrowing years in non-league may come to mind, but for many, Buckley – son of former manager and Grimsby legend Alan – is regarded as both the worst and most disliked player.

Buckley Jr, who joined his father at Blundell Park from West Brom in the late 1990s, was reviled by the Grimsby faithful during the 1999/2000 season. This was mainly due to his father repeatedly playing him on the left wing despite his obvious lack of skill, pace and general ability; his continued selection also meant cultured left-footers and fan favourites Kingsley Black and David Smith were regularly left sitting on the bench.

Whenever Buckley was hauled off (which was nearly every game he started), he was booed. No surprise, then, that after his old man was sacked just two games into the 2000/01 campaign, young Adam never played for the club again.

Hartlepool (Nialle Rodney)

By Jordan Richardson (@JordRich97)

Signed by Colin Cooper in the summer of 2013 after a successful trial, Rodney became a laughing stock with his tall and skinny frame.

Tactically inept, he could never carry the ball far without falling over, although he did score a cracking overhead kick against former club Bradford in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy.

Rodney had come through Nottingham Forest’s academy system but managed only 32 league appearances at eight clubs in his four professional seasons before joining Hartlepool.

We really should have known, but still handed him a one-year contract... which he couldn’t see out. After being released in March 2014, Rodney quit football to concentrate on his clothing business. Fair enough, really.

Huddersfield (Kwami Hodouto)

By Greg Marah (@HTAFCPodcast)

Ask Huddersfield fans who Hodouto is, and most won’t remember. Those that do will have nothing good to say about a player who managed just one start and two brief substitute appearances for the club.

The Togo-born defender joined Huddersfield from Auxerre in the summer of 1999 and endured an iffy debut after coming on in a 1-0 win over Norwich. His first start came against Fulham, when the right-back looked like someone who’d won a competition to play in a professional match for the first time. He was duly hooked after half an hour, replaced by fellow flop Giorgios Donis.

While many Town fans look back at the 1999/2000 campaign and the sale of Marcus Stewart as a missed opportunity, that season also serves as a reminder of how woeful Steve Bruce was in the transfer market. Almost as woeful as Houdoto was at football, in fact, and he seemingly vanished after the Fulham game.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Hull (David Jones)

By Rick Skelton (@HullCityLive)

Lanky (alleged) striker Jones was one of Terry Dolan’s many free ‘gambles’. He had a decent pedigree having started his career at Chelsea, and had also scored quite a few goals for Doncaster before joining Hull.

But for a big guy he was completely useless with his head, while he moved with the ball at his feet like a newborn foal taking its first steps. His dozen or so appearances in 1992/93 were summed up by a fantastic miss at home to Port Vale: the opposition goalkeeper gifted him the ball with an abysmal kick, and he returned it with the force and precision of a Sinclair C5.

Almost a decade later, we signed a past-it Kevin Francis, who was in the autumn of his career. Despite his advancing years, though, Big Kev’s touch, movement and finishing put Jones to shame.

Ipswich (Nathan Ellington)

By George Pennell (@georgepennell90)

After much deliberation, this must go to the once-prolific Ellington. ‘The Duke’, as he was known by many in the football world, was signed by one of the worst managers in our history in Paul Jewell (but we’ll save that for another time).

Ellington joined in the summer of 2011 on a free transfer after his contract at Watford had expired, linking up with Jewell for a third time in his career – but his stay didn’t last the length of his contract.

During his first year at Portman Road, the striker made 17 appearances and notched a whirlwind total of zero goals. He didn’t fare much better in his second season, making a further two appearances before having his contract terminated in January 2013, six months before it was due to expire.

Leeds (Paul Rachubka)

By Dan Howard (@RITGK)

We’ve been blessed with some fantastic players at Elland Road down the years – yes, even post-Premier League relegation – but nobody needs reminding of the shockers too. But while obvious names like Thomas Brolin and Roque Junior spring to mind from the past, one name stands out to me – and that’s Rachubka.

Signed by Simon Grayson to provide competition in 2011/12, his big chance came when No.1 Andy Lonergan picked up an injury. It became clear that Rachubka was likely to get a run in the side, and while no one was expecting Buffon-like performances, they weren’t quite anticipating what was to come.

First came a late error in the 1-1 home draw with Coventry, followed by another shoddy performance in the last-minute victory over Peterborough. But then the game he’ll always be remembered for: a 5-0 drubbing at home to Blackpool, where three errors in the first 30 minutes led to the ultimate humiliation for a goalkeeper – a substitution at half-time.

He didn’t turn out for Leeds again in a competitive match, as Grayson signed Alex McCarthy on a short, successful loan. Instead, Rachubka was packed off on three loans himself before being released at the end of two of the most unsuccessful seasons at a club you’re ever likely to see.

Leicester (Junior Lewis)

By James Sharpe (@TheSharpeEnd)

Such is the volume of dross that made its way through Leicester’s doors from c.2001-08, you could easily compile a full starting XI of worst players, a cramped substitutes’ bench and a queue of rubbish pros outside the manager’s office confused by their omission from such a side.

There is, however, one man who stands tall in the quagmire when fans consider the worst player ever to wear the fox on his chest. The mere mention of Junior Lewis’s name is enough to bring most Leicester supporters out in hives, thanks to his dismal 30 appearances for the club between 2001 and 2004.

City boss Peter Taylor bought the lanky midfielder from Gillingham – the third of six (six) times Taylor would sign him during his career – for £150,000. Even that would prove extortionate.

Lewis had the incredible ability of being 6ft 2in standing height, and 5ft 8in when jumping. To his credit, the uncultured central midfielder had one half-decent game in a Premier League victory over Liverpool, but other than that he looked more like a player who fans genuinely thought they were better than.

Unsurprisingly, he eventually left on a free transfer. Even more unsurprisingly, it was then-Hull manager Taylor who snapped him up.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Leyton Orient (Peter Smith)

By Mat Roper (@Pandamonium1881 fanzine)

Defender or defensive midfielder Smith played a total of eight games for the O's, in which time a grand total of 22 goals were conceded. It was perhaps no surprise, then, that Orient won three and drew one of the six matches in which he was an unused substitute.

Smith, a youth product (we'd have been better off with an embryo) couldn't run, pass, dribble, defend or score, although he did take a decent throw-in. You’re guaranteed to face some stiff competition in deciding Orient’s worst ever player, but Smith didn’t just take the biscuit – he took the whole pack.

Suffice to say, his last game in an O's shirt away to Cardiff ended in a 2-0 defeat, and he was left out of the final-day relegation decider in which the O's did enough to survive in Division Three.

Smith also had one of the most common names in the country. Combined with his footballing skills, he simply wasn't good enough.

Liverpool (Sean Dundee)

By Chris McLoughlin (@TheKopMagazine)

Pound for pounnulld this could be El-Hadji Diouf, whose six goals in 80 appearances make him the Reds' least-prolific striker ever, and whose penchant for spitting at people makes him less likeable than a lift full of Manchester United fans holding trays of rotting salmon.

But I've seen worse. Christian Poulsen was so pedestrian that a lollipop lady could have moved across midfield quicker; Philipp Degen looked better while he was out injured, and I'm convinced that it will one day emerge that Charles Itandje was the goalkeeping equivalent of Southampton's Ali Dia.

However, my vote goes to Dundee, a South African striker signed in 1998 who scored goals for fun in the Bundesliga, but was so slow in England that it looked like treacle was running through him. He made just five substitute appearances for the Reds, and I distinctly remember Leicester's Frank Sinclair outpacing him despite giving 'Kopodile' a five-yard start.

(And yes, I know, but at least Andriy Voronin scored six goals.)

Luton (Paul Carden)

By Michael Patel

It could be Colin Samuel or Richard Langley getting picked here, but in the end I’ve gone for Carden. The midfielder signed during our Conference years, initially on loan, with many Town fans dubious from the start given his close links with then-manager Gary Brabin.

Carden ended up making 11 appearances for Luton, but he didn’t contribute much on the pitch at all. The memory that sticks out most is from an away game against Ebbsfleet, when Carden received a yellow card and our fans began to chant, “off, off, off!”

That sums up his career in a Luton shirt, which he would never wear again. He did continue as a coach until 2013, though, when the club parted company with him once and for all.

Manchester City (Lee Bradbury)

By Stephen Tudor (@TheDaisyCutter1)

Manchester City signed Bradbury for a club record fee of £3m in July 1997 and, if memory serves, had to fight off several other suitors for his signature.

The former army recruit had looked mightily impressive at Pompey – a powerful, grafting centre-forward with a rocket of a shot – while an imposing debut away at Burnley had many Blues believing he could be the man to fire us to promotion from the old First Division.

He wasn’t. That man was in fact Shaun Goater, who was purchased several months later as Bradbury succumbed to City-itis and flopped quite spectacularly. A dishonourable discharge followed soon after.

Twenty years on I recall him running around a fair bit, but that’s pretty much the sum total of his legacy aside from his satisfyingly apt nickname: omit both Rs from his surname and there you have it.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Manchester United (Bebe)

By Scott Patterson (@R_o_M)

If you were to pick the worst Manchester United player based on performances alone, it would perhaps be Eric Djemba-Djemba or Massimo Taibi. If the criteria involved money spent, it'd be Angel Di Maria or Radamel Falcao.

Bebe, though, manages to tick both boxes: he was a truly awful footballer for whom United somehow ended up paying £7.4 million. Having not had any suitors when he was offered around other European clubs for just £125,000, PSV turned down the opportunity to sign him for free just three months before he joined the Red Devils.

Remarkably, he was on United's books for four seasons, playing just seven games and spending most of his time being awful for other teams on loan.

Sir Alex Ferguson confirmed he hadn't seen anything of Bebe before sanctioning the transfer – not even any DVD footage, let alone in the flesh. Reports suggested that Carlos Queiroz had recommended him (which he later denied), but Jorge Mendes, quelle surprise, made a fortune from the deal.

To put into perspective just how awful he was, Bebe looked out of his depth when playing against non-league Crawley Town in the FA Cup. The two clubs were separated by 93 league places that day, but he would have struggled to pass for wearing the non-league side’s shirt.

Mansfield (Jason White)

By Craig Gittins

Like Donald Trump at a Russian beauty pageant, the choices are endless.

Worst value for money goes to Shane Bradley, a £100,000 signing who was blighted by injury and laziness, before arch-rivals Chesterfield took him off our hands. When the two teams next met, Mansfield’s Rhys Day welcomed him onto the pitch inserting his index finger into Bradley’s rectum. Bradley took umbrage, spat at his former team-mate and was duly dismissed… just three minutes after coming on as a substitute.

For all-round lack of ability, though, the award goes to Jason White.

A custodian of the onion bag who flapped around more than a cheap tent on its last day at Glastonbury, the goalkeeper was responsible for a spike in cardiac admissions during the 2007/08 season. His non-attempt to save a 40-yard effort from the touchline against Rotherham saw Mansfield relegated from the Football League.

Middlesbrough (Afonso Alves)

By Phil Spencer (@PhilSpenc23)

https://www.oneboro.co.uk/

Thanks, FourFourTwo: an array of underwhelming talent and unfulfilled promise comes flooding back like an episode of PTSD. I could easily pick Branco, Michael Ricketts, Lee Dong-gook and Ricardinho, the Brazil international who didn’t play a single minute for a struggling Middlesbrough team.

But I won’t: in the end, Alves takes the gong. The striker arrived at Boro on the back of a spectacular 18 months with Heerenveen in the Eredivisie, where he scored a staggering 45 league goals in 39 games. So when the news broke that we’d agreed a deal to sign him, you could only imagine the Rio-style carnival that broke out along Linthorpe Road.

Ahead of his debut against Fulham, fans unveiled a rather pre-emptive banner declaring our new record transfer fee as “Boro’s goal machine” – a nickname he was subsequently referred to only when there was a bucket-load of irony also present.

Sadly, our £12 million man never got firing, scoring just 10 goals in his spell on Teesside before jumping on a plane to Qatar to sign for Al-Sadd.

Note: We perhaps should have suspected something was amiss when Alves struggled to manage two kick-ups at the start of the video above

Millwall (Bas Savage)

By Josh Nelson (@JoshNelson97)

Step forward Bas Savage, the Mario Balotelli of the Football League.

Known for his ridiculous hairstyles and outlandish moonwalk celebrations, Savage even had his own feature on Soccer AM, 'I wanna be like Bas Savage'. He was a lovely, eccentric character, but not your stereotypical Millwall player – and certainly not a goalscorer.

Kenny Jackett snapped up the forward on a free transfer in February 2008, after contract talks broke down with his former club Brighton. You could hear the agonising sighs around the ground whenever the forward received the ball; it almost certainly meant a loss of possession was imminent, as Savage routinely struggled to control the ball with his gigantic, uncoordinated feet.

Jackett had believed that the 6ft 3in targetman would provide the firepower his side needed; unfortunately, though, he scored just twice in 11 appearances before joining Tranmere. Still, at least we got to see the moonwalk.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

MK Dons (Tore Andre Flo)

By Liam O’Brien (@Talk_Dons)

Flo, a notable name for many across England, came out of retirement to join MK in 2008, with fans full of optimism about his signing.

It had been eight years since he’d left Chelsea for Rangers, though, since when he’d lasted no longer than two seasons at any club (Siena, who he’d done well for in Serie A admittedly) and struck 12 goals in 76 league matches across spells with Sunderland, Valerenga and Leeds.

It wasn’t to be for the ex-Chelsea man in Milton Keynes either, as he consistently delivered below-par performances. Flo will always be remembered for missing a penalty in the play-off semi-final against Scunthorpe United in 2009, which led to MK bowing out as a result.

The Norwegian’s time in Buckinghamshire lasted only six months, with the striker released at the end of the season.

Morecambe (Alan Morgan)

By David Freear

Ignoring semi-professionals from Morecambe’s Northern Premier League history, Morgan is the man who should go down as the club’s worst ever player.

The Welshman arrived when we went full-time in 2002, but failed to impress in any of his six appearances and was soon allowed to join Welsh side Porthmadog.

Morgan came off the bench in his final appearance, slotting in at full-back when we were 3-0 up. There were only 20 minutes left for us to hang on, but Calamity Morgan soon put through his own goal and gave away a penalty to quicken the heart rates of Morecambe supporters on the terraces. He then tried to make amends by going on a rampaging run down the wing, before turning and passing the ball to an unmarked forward.

Unfortunately that forward wasn’t ours, and the opponent in question went on to smash a shot against the upright. Morgan was immediately hauled off before he could do any more damage, and we ended up holding on for a 3-2 win. Happy days.

Newcastle (Marcelino)

By Andy Gurr (@andy_gurr)

The worst player in Newcastle United history has to be Marcelino.

Signed from Real Mallorca for £5.8m in 1999, having helped them to the Cup Winners’ Cup final that year, the Spanish centre-back went on to make just 20 appearances in all competitions before being released in 2003.

The last of those outings came against Charlton in February 2001; after that, he was sent to rot in the reserves.

Marcelino’s time in the north-east was blighted by injuries, including a snapped finger tendon which kept him out of action for two months.

He was defender who possessed an unhelpful ineptitude for defending, and became something of a cult figure – for all the wrong reasons.

Newport Country (Alan Waddle)

By Martyn Phillips

This was a tough call between Mark Draycott and Waddle, but most supporters are in agreement that the latter’s £80,000 record transfer fee swings the two-way battle in his direction.

The striker arrived from Swansea in 1980 and went on to make 27 appearances for County. He’d previously played for Liverpool and Leicester too, but it’s telling that his post- Newport career largely consisted of spells with clubs such as Barry Town, Llanelli and Happy Valley in Hong Kong.

Waddle failed to live up to expectations at Somerton Park and was let go two years after arriving.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Northampton (Daniel Alfei)

By Joe Ball (@jballie94)

From my time watching the team personally, it has to be Alfei. The right-back signed on loan from Swansea in 2014 and never really looked comfortable, enduring a torrid time against almost every League Two winger he came up against.

Thankfully, his loan – one of five Swansea sent him on – ended in January, and there wasn’t much debate about whether or not the club should look to extend his deal.

Chris Arthur, Ashley Corker and Seb Harris pushed him close, but Alfei deserves his tag as the Cobblers’ worst. He’s now at Aberystwyth Town.

Norwich (Ricky van Wolfswinkel)

By Jack Reeve (@TalkNorwichCity)

There’s a reason why so many of our cast-offs at Carrow Road can now be found plying their trade at non-league level.

For me, though, the most disappointing of them all has to the £8.5m Van Wolfswinkel, a man with a fantastic hairline and European pedigree who was supposed to fire us into the top half of the Premier League.

It started so well, too, the Dutchman scoring a beautiful headed goal against Everton on his debut – but that proved to be no sign of what was to come.

In fact, Van Wolfswinkel never found the net again in a Norwich shirt, as we went on to be relegated back to the Championship. Loans at Saint-Etienne and Betis followed, and he’s now doing the business for first club Vitesse in the Eredivisie.

As they say, it’s the hope that kills you.

Nottingham Forest (Andrea Silenzi)

By Pat Riddell (@SeatPitch)

If there’s one player who represents everything that’s gone wrong at Nottingham Forest over the past 20 years, it’s Silenzi.

The first Italian to play in the Premier League was signed to replace Stan Collymore in 1995. He came at a substantial cost – a £1.8m transfer fee and £30,000-per-week wages – and was allegedly called the “signing of the season” by Gary Lineker. The former England man’s sentence was missing the all-important adjective: worst.

Having played with Maradona at Napoli and averaged almost a goal every three games at Torino, Silenzi was met at the City Ground with optimism from the club’s supporters. Frank Clark’s side had just finished third and qualified for the UEFA Cup, and the striker was here to help us reach the next level.

His debut for the reserves didn’t go to plan, though, and he was withdrawn at half-time due to illness. It didn’t get any better from there.

Silenzi’s first touch was terrible, and his second even worse. The striker could seemingly do nothing but waste space on the pitch and, after 20 appearances – which yielded just two goals, both in the cups – he was packed off to Venezia on loan, his place in the Forest team taken by Jason Lee.

New manager Dave Bassett later tried to recall him, but Silenzi refused to return and duly had his contract terminated. Two solitary goals valued at over £1m each, and Forest were heading for another relegation. Happy days.

Notts County (Guy Branston)

By David Beighton

The fact that he’s Notts County’s worst player having only ever played 45 minutes for the club shows just how bad that half was.

Branston made his debut in a home clash with Stockport in January 2008, and endured the howler of all howlers. He spent most of the first half fouling opposition players and arguing with his Notts team-mates, even though it was clear to everyone watching that he was almost always the man at fault. I’m still not sure how he wasn’t sent off.

The defender was hauled off at the interval and later locked out of the players’ lounge, which culminated in Danny Sonner offering him out if he didn’t calm down. Unsurprisingly, his short-term contract was terminated soon after.

To make matters worse, Branston later returned to the club as chief scout and became part of a panel which took control of transfers away from manager Shaun Derry. His acquisitions transformed a team that was gunning for the play-offs into one that was fighting relegation, a battle which was ultimately lost on the final day of the season. Fan favourite Derry got the boot, while Branston continued to make appalling decisions in the transfer market.

Combine all of the above with the regular insults he threw at supporters on Twitter – not to mention his unparalleled arrogance – and you have a man who’s not welcome back at Meadow Lane any time soon.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Oldham (Neil Firm)

By Keith Gledhill (@kgquantum)

Signed on loan from Leeds in March 1982 by the then-rookie manager Joe Royle, Firm played nine games as cover for our regular centre-half, Kenny Clements.

He had little or no first-team experience at Leeds and this was clearly evident by the standard of his performances in the final two-and-a-half months of the 1981/82 season. While he had all the physical attributes of a traditional centre-back – tall, thick set and solid – it’s fair to say that his mental attributes were the complete opposite.

His positional sense, ability to kick a ball and, perhaps more importantly for a stopper, to head the thing, were all severely lacking. Firm’s ability to change direction could only be likened to that of a cruise liner.

His nine games for Athletic consisted of five defeats, three draws and only one victory – a run which saw the Latics only secure their place in Division Two in the penultimate game of that season (the game after Firm made his final appearance for Oldham).

It wasn’t long before Firm was out of the game, though: after running a pub, he joined Norfolk’s police force and rose through the ranks to become a high-flying detective.

Oxford (Emiliano Diaz)

By Tony Fallows (@TonyFallows)

www.rageonline.co.uk

Steve and Alex Bruce are a good example of how a bit of father/son partnerships can work at a club – but if they're the acceptable face of footballing nepotism, then Ramon and Emiliano Diaz are the ugly side.

Ramon – winner of the Copa Libertadores as manager of River Plate in 1996 – came to Oxford United in late 2004. Why is still largely a mystery, but everywhere Ramon goes, Emiliano follows.

In his seven appearances for the then-fourth-tier U’s, Emiliano displayed a stunning level of ineptitude. To compound the misery, he reportedly broke the leg of homegrown favourite Jamie Brooks in training, who had only just recovered from a serious and rare viral infection lasting two years.

Emiliano retired aged 28, ensuring his ‘talents’ were never to darken other clubs’ doorways.

Peterborough (Exodus Geohaghon)

By John Verrall (@JohnVerrall)

Geohaghon is the only footballer I’ve ever watched at Posh who was more dangerous when the ball was out of play, rather than actually on the pitch.

The towering centre-back was brought to London Road from Kettering under (his old manager) Mark Cooper’s disastrous tenure, as we unsuccessfully battled against relegation from the Championship in 2010/11.

In short, Geohaghon was picked in the starting line-up to take throw ins – it’s the only explanation. The 6ft 5in lump could hurl a ball from the halfway line into the penalty area, and seemed to enjoy his role as a lower-league Rory Delap. The only problem was that Geohaghon made Delap look like Andrea Pirlo as soon as the ball went anywhere near his feet. In possession he didn’t have a clue what to do, and would invariably give it away.

Somehow the defender made 12 appearances for Posh in that Championship season (it’s hardly a surprise we went down), before going on to play for the likes of Braintree Town, Stourbridge and Nuneaton.

Plymouth Argyle (Nicky Hammond)

By Chris ‘Woody’ Wood (@Woodythedrum, from Bastille)

There have been a fair few Argyle players who’ve made me hopping mad over the years. A lot of Argyle fans would say Taribo West, who must have had a forged passport as he looked 45, and not 35.

That being said, it’s really hard to see beyond goalkeeper Nicky Hammond as our worst ever player. Matches played: seven. Games lost: seven. And he dropped the ball into his own net on two separate occasions. (I'm struggling to find either incident on YouTube but they're seared into my mind.)

He'd be my first name on the teamsheet for a worst Argyle XI (and not even because he’s a goalkeeper either). He’s now technical director at West Brom, having been Reading’s director of football for 13 years before that.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Portsmouth (Kostas Chalkias)

By Brendon Bone (@brendonvbone)

Unbelievably, Chalkias was a Greece international when he signed for Pompey in January 2005, but quickly established the unwanted nickname of ‘Chalky the Clown’.

He made his debut against Southampton in the FA Cup, one of the country’s fiercest derby rivalries, and so anything but a good performance was going to make it tough for the Greek.

We lost 2-1, with Chalkias’s catching and kicking both suspect in the defeat. He was up against it from the start – and sadly for him, never recovered after that. The net-minder’s confidence was shot; Chalkias conceded 13 goals in his remaining five matches before leaving a year later for Real Murcia.

Some might argue that he wasn't given much of a chance, but if you can’t catch or kick then it's fair to say you're going to struggle in goal. Many players can lay claim to the accolade of our club’s worst player, but few leave a memory like Chalky.

Port Vale (Exodus Geohaghan)

By Rob Fielding (@onevalefan)

The ineptness of Ville Viljanen, Danny Glover and Martin Henderson up front sticks in many Vale fans’ memories, as do Neil McKenzie in midfield and Chris Slater at the back.

However, one name stands out as the most popular nominee for Port Vale’s worst player ever – Exodus Geohaghan. It didn’t help that Big Ex was a signing made by Jim Gannon – a shoo-in for Vale’s most reviled manager. Nor did it help that the big defender was bizarrely played in midfield, and one of our better players dropped to accommodate him.

But perhaps the key reason for the dislike stems from an incident during an infamous defeat to Accrington, where Geohaghan was involved in an unsavoury spat with fans after the final whistle. He never played for the club again.

Preston (Andy Smith)

By Oliver Dawes (@DeepdaleDigest)

http://www.deepdaledigest.wordpress.com/

While Craig Brown signed quality players like Youl Mawene, Claude Davis, Eddie Lewis and Ricardo Fuller during his time as North End manager, Andy Smith will forever stick out as his worst signing – and arguably the worst player to turn out for Preston in recent memory.

A Northern Ireland international who’d scored 32 goals in 66 games for Glentoran, Smith arrived at Deepdale after Preston hijacked the striker's move to MK Dons in 2004.

It was hard to see why the club were quite so desperate to sign him. Smith will be remembered more for his bleach-blond hair than his footballing ability, and the striker played 17 games in his first season without coming close to finding the net.

He was farmed out on loan to Stockport and Motherwell before being released in January 2007 amid a spate of injury problems. With just 17 goals in eight years after leaving Deepdale, it became clear that Smith wasn't just unlucky at Preston, but a dreadful signing who was never cut out for Championship football.

QPR (Shaun Wright-Phillips)

By Clive Whittingham (@LoftForWords)

QPR’s worst ever player, by fairly common consensus, is Brian Williams – a shambling winger who somehow made 23 appearances for our wonderful team of the late 1970s.

But it seemed harsh to pick out a trier who simply wasn’t good enough. In the search for added context – money, effort, behaviour, attitude – we gave very strong consideration to Mark Hateley and Jose Bosingwa, before settling on Shaun Wright-Phillips.

The first big signing of the Tony Fernandes ownership, he came to symbolise everything that was wrong with QPR 2011-2015 – one of several players with big names and big reputations who came to Loftus Road late in their fading careers to take advantage of easy money.

Whatever ability he’d once possessed seemed to have drained away completely by the time he got to us. It was like the ball was too big and heavy for him – he couldn’t kick it, pass it or run without falling over.

Worse still, as all the other mercenaries drifted away he insisted on staying, turning down dozens of permanent and loan opportunities to continue picking up his astronomical wages from the sidelines.

Even his one saving grace, a late winner in a 1-0 win at Stamford Bridge, was sullied by him refusing to celebrate – his three years sitting on Chelsea’s bench apparently meaning more to him than finally doing something worthwhile for us.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Reading (Emerse Fae)

By Dave Harris (@TheTilehurstEnd)

Remembered for costing a lot at £2.5m (by our standards) and offering the square root of bugger all. Fae’s debut in 2007/08 set the standard, as part of a team that stunk the place out in a 3-0 defeat at Bolton. He made just 11 appearances in total, losing every league game in which he played.

Fae contracted Malaria while on international duty, and then refused to play in a Premier League reserve game upon his return. Suspended as a result, he mouthed off to the national press and vowed never to play for Reading ever again.

Steve Coppell duly obliged and shipped the midfielder back to France on loan, initially to Nice, where he signed permanently in 2009. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone in Reading who disagreed with that decision.

Rochdale (Neal Trotman)

By Liam Jennings (@LJennico)

Centre-back Trotman only played 12 games for us, but I can't remember another player that I've looked at and thought "I wonder how many favours he has given to make it this far".

There wasn't a game he played in that he didn't make a mistake. The best song we have ever sang was about him, and for that I think Dale fans will be grateful for his time at the club (thankfully it didn't last longer, mind).

(Godzilla cartoon theme tune)
Up from the depths
30 stories high
Breathing fire
His head in the sky
Trotzilla! Trotzilla! Trotzilla!

It's a shame he had the balance of Bambi, a Toblerone as a head, and two left feet.

Rotherham (Gijsbert Bos)

By Jonathan Elston (@JonathanElston)

While Dennis Bergkamp was astounding Premier League audiences in the ‘90s, Dutch imports became all the rage. Rotherham, not wanting to be left behind, grabbed their own pound shop version in the shape of Gijsbert Bos.

A beanpole striker with boy band blond-tipped hair and white boots, he was neither strong in the air (see white boots) nor showed any sense of knowing where the onion bag was (see blond tips). Bos summed up everything that was wrong with a club that had recently found themselves in the fourth tier.

He managed a paltry four goals in 18 games before being loaned out to Walsall, where he didn't manage a single appearance.

Enough was enough for both parties: Bos packed his bags and headed back to play for Dutch amateurs IJsselmeervogels, following a massive strop which led to him throwing his shirt at the dugout after being subbed.

Bos bags for Lincoln against Manchester City (00:26)

Scunthorpe (Rob Jones)

By Matt Blanchard (@Ironbru_net)

Honourable mentions must go to OAP carthorses Darius Henderson and ‘The Tree’ Chris Iwelumo, but the man whose time at the Iron is definitely best forgotten is also the club's record signing. Step forward centre-back Rob Jones.

He joined in the summer of 2009 following our return to the Championship after the famous Wembley win over Millwall, and was set to partner cult hero Kenny ‘Scunthorpe should be in the Premier League’ Milne at the heart of defence in our quest for survival.

The pair actually only managed 45 minutes on the pitch together, which was somewhat of a feat considering Milne mustered just eight games during his two-year stay with a dodgy knee, and captain Jones was rarely injury-free himself.

The lanky calamity had put in terrible performances against us before, most notably when we taught Grimsby a footballing lesson at Glanford Park in League Two some years earlier, so eyebrows were raised when we blew the budget on him despite rumoured interest from big clubs such as Forest and Derby that summer. Little did we know that his dreadful display in our 2-0 win over the Mariners wouldn't be his worst on the hallowed turf.

His worst performance in claret and blue came in a truly awful month where we managed to ship 12 goals in four games. The worst was a humiliating 4-0 defeat to Sheffield Wednesday, compounded by the fact they were managed by our ex-boss Brian Laws.

Jones was at fault for two goals inside the first 30 minutes, comically getting his legs tangled like a unsteady foal and tripping himself up in the process. He proceeded to throw himself against the foot of the post in what looked to many like an act of desperation to be take off.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Sheffield United (Dean Hammond)

By Ian Rands (@unitedite)

www.aunitedview.blogspot.com

When Hammond was linked with a move to Bramall Lane, it created a stir of excitement. An on-field leader and lynchpin at Brighton, Southampton and Leicester – just the experienced player we needed to start bossing central midfield and lead the team towards promotion.

Instead we signed a player whose legs had gone; Douglas Bader was more mobile on the ground. Nigel Adkins grimly defended his man week after week, as the criticism piled up: "The fans don't see the invisible work that he does and what he brings to the team.” All we could see was an immobile player desperately pointing at team-mates to cover his man and the space he was unable to fill.

In the summer, despite being one of our biggest earners and with new manager Chris Wilder stating he had no future at the club, Hammond took up the option on his loan contract of a further year, forcing the club into a hefty pay-off it could have done without.

We have had players so bad that their Blades career lasted 45 minutes. The fact Hammond’s somehow lasted 30 games will forever rankle.

Sheffield Wednesday (Jay Bothroyd)

By Laura Jones (@YICETOR)

Debate raged among Wednesday-ites about the definition of ‘worst player’ – is it lack of ability, or lack of application? The latter won the argument.

Jay Bothroyd wasn’t a permanent Owls player but he left a lasting impression on the fans of how not to conduct yourself when you join a new club. In his 14 appearances for Wednesday he become a byword of petulance and laziness – fined for arguments online with fans, sulks when he couldn’t play in his preferred position and a work ethic that would make a sloth blush.

The frustration for Wednesday fans still remains that he had talent but chose to believe he was above playing for, as he called us, “a League One club that got promoted”.

There are Owls players who would fit the bill better as less abled, but none who have been as hated in such a short period.

Shrewsbury (Matt Redmile)

By Andrew Greenway

Shrewsbury stumped up a £30k transfer fee for Redmile in 2001, the money raised via the Independent Supporters’ Club.

“There are oil tankers that turn quicker…” resembled the general theme of feedback from the terraces at Gay Meadow. In short, he was big and slow.

In 2003 we finished bottom of the old Third Division, having lost 23 games and conceded 92 goals. Redmile was always the first to be criticised down the pub after a game, but was at least consistent in his painful performances.

A particular lowlight was a 6-0 loss to Boston United in which Redmile gave away a penalty and continued to lose possession, get outrun, fall over and mistime challenges throughout the game.

Redmile was released the following summer and didn’t last long at any club he played for thereafter: he followed up with brief spells at Scarborough, Barnet, Tamworth, Hinckley United, Sutton Town and Goole before his retirement in 2008.

Southampton (Dani Osvaldo)

By Nick Illingsworth (@theuglyinside)

Many would claim that Ali Dia was Saints’ worst ever player, but the truth is that he was a trialist plunged into the team during an injury crisis. Instead when you weigh up cost, return and chaos caused, the runaway winner has to be Pablo "Dani" Osvaldo.

The Italian arrived as a marquee signing in August 2013 for then-chairman Nicola Cortese, but we soon wished we hadn't. Osvaldo certainly looked different, modelling his look on Captain Jack Sparrow – but sadly he’d turn out to be a pirate robbing us of our £15 million record transfer fee.

At first he looked the part, scoring in his fifth appearance and doing enough to suggest that he could replace cult hero Rickie Lambert. But little did we know there would only be two more goals to come.

He followed up a December wonderstrike against Manchester City by getting banned for three games following a touchline fracas at Newcastle, but even before that ended he’d been suspended by the club for an alleged headbutt on team captain Jose Fonte.

Osvaldo was shipped off to Juventus on loan for the rest of the season, but Saints couldn't offload him permanently thanks to his high wages. Another loan at Inter was terminated when he failed to turn up for training, so he spent the rest of the season at Boca Juniors. Saints paid him off in the summer of 2015, fingers burned. Osvaldo is now pursuing a music career. Obviously.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Southend (Jake Cassidy)

By Liam Ager (@AllAtSeaFanzine)

Striker Cassidy is ineptitude personified; to football what the UK is to Eurovision. Fans acknowledged his hard work in 17 goalless appearances for Southend, but conveniently ignored that he was being paid to work and that effort in the vacuum of ability is an absolute minimum requirement.

Through his career Cassidy averaged one goal every 505 minutes across five clubs in the Football League, though he never scored for three of them. If you ignore his record at Tranmere, his games-per-goal ratio exceeds 14.

Cassidy’s time at Southend fell foul of this particular statistic, but we still managed to achieve promotion with him at the club. He might be the worst player the club has ever seen, but he proved to all Shrimpers that miracles can happen.

Stevenage (Junior Lewis)

By @BoroGuide

Oddly, many of Stevenage’s standout stinkers seem to have believed they were central midfielders. We’ve had some misfiring strikers and some woeful defenders, but it seems Boro have overdosed on terrible men in the middle of the park.

Ray Houghton, for example, wasn’t much cop at all – he might still have been living off his goal against Italy when he joined us in 1999. Five games later he’d gone, citing “media commitments” for his premature departure if I remember rightly. But he wasn’t missed. There was Ian King too, who bumbled through 18 appearances.

But neither compare to Junior Lewis.

Lewis followed Peter Taylor wherever he went, so it was no surprise when he wound up at Boro in 2007. He only made eight excruciating outings for us, but that was enough.

We may as well have lined up with 10 men on those occasions – one lingering memory was the brief portrayal of a horse manoeuvring an oil slick at Rushden. It’s hard to recall exactly what he offered… if, indeed, anything. It’s almost comforting that Leicester fans feel the same way.

Stoke (Henrik Risom)

Marc Espley (@Marcespley)

Risom’s spell at Stoke stems from the time when an Icelandic consortium had control of the club. During that period the Potters were ‘blessed’ with a number of Scandinavian players who should have been playing pub football on a Sunday – but unfortunately for us, the likes of Dane Risom had arrived to try their hand in the old Second Division.

Risom had somehow managed nine international caps for Denmark from 1989-92 – once, as part of a team that dismantled Brazil 4-0 in 1989 – but that pedigree was not on show in his 25 dismal appearances for Stoke in the 2000/01 season.

"I think I'm good enough to start nearly every game and I can’t really understand why I haven't," he once groaned, wrongly. Risom left after one season for a return to Denmark with Aarhus.

Sunderland (Milton Nunez)

By Gavin Henderson (@RokerReport)

Sunderland’s lowest ebb came when we played in the third tier back in the mid-’80s, so while I never actually watched us play back then, I should probably be giving names like Steve Hetzke and Paul Lemon (who I’m told were absolutely awful footballers).

But since I’d rather talk about a player I saw with my own two eyes, I’m going to have to pick out Honduran midget Milton Nunez.

The real story behind how we actually came to sign him in 1999 isn’t actually known (one theory suggests Peter Reid got the wrong player by mistake), but what we do know is that the 5ft 5in mystery man was bloody awful. The furore over the his signing was perhaps the most hilarious thing – over 25,000 Sunderland fans flocked to the Stadium of Light for a reserve game to see his ‘debut’ against Manchester United.

After two embarrassing first-team substitute appearances, though, Reid soon realised his mistake and the Honduran was never seen again. Nunez has since became somewhat of a cult hero thanks to the manner in which he both arrived and left during what was a fairly successful time on the pitch for Sunderland.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Swansea (Aidan Newhouse)

By Steven Carroll (@StevenSOS1987)

Newhouse arrived from Fulham for £30,000 in October 1997 and failed to score in 17 appearances for the club. In fact, he only netted 21 in a 12-year career, which says it all.

One game stands out above all others. Carlisle visited the old Vetch Field in February 1999, and due to injuries and suspensions, Newhouse was awarded a rare start.

Early on he was put through on goal and fouled by the keeper inside the box – but while the referee looked set to award a penalty, with said goalkeeper on the floor and both Newhouse/the ball free, our hapless striker shot from close range and missed an open goal. No penalty.

In the second half, Stuart Roberts received the ball on the edge on the box and was about to shoot, only for Newhouse to kick him in the back of the leg. He never played again after that.

Swindon (Alberto Comazzi)

By @GWReds

Paolo Di Canio brought Comazzi to Swindon in 2011 as a supposed first-choice centre-back, but his time at the County Ground lasted only seven months and five appearances – one of which ending prematurely after he was sent off.

Comazzi, a former Milan academy graduate, left Swindon in January 2012 after deciding his style of play and lack of pace didn't suit League Two. The Robins went on to win the title without him.

But there’s more: Comazzi has yet to kick a ball since leaving Swindon, after being banned for four years for his a part in the 2011 Italian match-fixing scandal.

Tottenham (Paulinho)

By Tom Hayward (@tomfoins87)

In terms of outlay and return, Paulinho rises to the top of Tottenham’s very deep pool of expensive non-talent over the years. The £18m Brazilian started reasonably well, scoring a last-minute backheel winner against Cardiff, but very quickly his ‘new Lampard’ tag became laughable.

The overriding memory of Paulinho is his unforgettable ‘shot’ against Burnley in 2015, which caused scenes of sheer disbelief in the away end. In another game against Norwich, he trapped a pass so poorly that it bounced up and hit him in the face.

Some limited players at least put in the effort, but even that was beyond him; managers gave unsubtle nods towards him crying off injured before European games.

Thinking about Paulinho makes me physically angry, and I’m glad he’s in China where I no longer have to look at him.

Walsall (Andy Petterson)

By Rob Jones (@RobJNumber13)

There’s been no shortage of calamitous signings in my 22 years following the Saddlers, but none made a more disastrous impact on a season than veteran Australian goalkeeper Petterson.

Signed in 2004 as cover when club legend Jimmy Walker picked up a three-game ban for slapping Dennis Wise at the New Den (a bit daft, but who could blame him?), we were Petterson’s 16th club in English football.

If alarm bells weren’t ringing at Colin Lee signing a 35-year-old goalie with only 20 first-team appearances to his name in four years, they certainly were when he shipped six goals on his debut at home to Coventry. Two games later and a whopping total of 10 net-ripplers added to our Goals Against column, Petterson resumed his rightful position on the bench, presumably hoping his disastrous spell in goal wouldn’t prove too costly.

We ended up being relegated on the final day of the season by virtue of goal difference. Two goals.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Watford (Ramon Vega)

By Mike Parkin (@RookeryMike)

After years of relative poverty and making do with abject loanees (Kerry Dixon, Micky Quinn – we’re looking at you) it was when the Vicarage Road coffers actually contained some cash that the worst signings were made. Step forward Ramon Vega.

The news of his arrival could barely be heard through the howls of derision and mirth from every corner of the footballing world. There were some messages of consolation from Spurs and Celtic fans, but in the main the transfer was met with a heady mixture of hilarity and contempt.

Sadly it was all to prove founded, and the Switzerland international embarked on a spell of mistimed tackles and calamitous lapses in concentration. He cost Watford a fortune, literally and metaphorically.

A similarly expensive disaster was Nathan ‘Duke’ Ellington (picked by our Ipswich fan, FYI – Ed.). Signed for over £3m by a wide-eyed Aidy Boothroyd, the former Wigan striker blamed his abysmal showings on the Hornets’ style of play, claiming it was “like putting diesel in a high performance sports car”.

It was a nice line from the misfiring striker, but the Watford faithful saw straight through it. A sports car? Pah. Ellington wouldn’t have made it through a back alley MOT.

West Brom (Diego Lugano)

By Lewis Chapman (@LewisCChapman)

It’s August 2013, and West Brom announce the signing of Uruguay centre-back and captain Lugano on a free transfer from PSG. The more optimistic West Brom fan saw it as a coup, snaring a proven stopper who’d proved himself capable of playing in various leagues; the more cynical supporter recalled Pablo Ibanez's ill-fated stint at The Hawthorns.

Yet when a West Brom fan sees Lugano's name these days, they will instantly remember the 4-3 away loss to local rivals Aston Villa, where the Uruguayan conceded a penalty by headlocking Christian Benteke in the penalty area. Baggies will also look back in disgust at his lack of pace, and persistent fouling.

Lugano's stint in the West Midlands was originally set to last two years, but in May 2014 his contract was terminated to widespread relief in B71.

West Ham (John Radford)

By Gordon Thrower (@kumbdotcom)

http://kumb.com/

Worst players are always a generational thing – and for me, my O Level studies were blighted by the appearance of John Radford in claret and blue.

An integral part of Arsenal’s 1971 Double-winning side, and the Gunners’ fourth-top scorer of all-time, he had long since ceased to be any good by the time he pitched up at the Boleyn in 1976.

Radford made 30 utterly dispiriting appearances for the Hammers, during which he didn’t once appear interested in looking for a banjo, let alone utilising one for its allotted purpose of hitting a cow's backside.

So we shipped him off to a pre-Walker Blackburn. He scored on his debut for them. Predictably.

Wigan (Grant Holt)

By Alan Moore (@pieatnight)

http://thepieatnight.co.uk/

We’re running a Hall of Shame feature on Pie at Night to eventually give us an A-Z of the worst ever Wigan Athletic players. We’re only up to the letter K, but there’s been a couple of standout candidates already. As Don Cowie was more hapless than hopeless and didn’t cost £3.2m, though, we’ve just one option left.

Grant Holt may have been a legend at Norwich and Rochdale, and decent for a host of other clubs, but at Latics he was fat, feckless and seemingly more interested in pies and greyhounds than football and goals.

The poll on our letter H nominations for the Emporium of Sh**e saw Holt come in with almost 80% of the votes, smashing the more universally ill-thought of Fitz ‘one size’ Hall into a cocked hat. No matter who we encounter when we look through letters L to Z, it’s hard to see anyone beating that.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

Wolverhampton Wanderers (Robert Taylor)

By Nick Goff (@nickgoff79)

For most of the 1990s, if it was possible for Wolves to mess something up, they did. So it should come as no surprise to learn that during the decade there were no shortage of disaster signings.

But the winner of worst ever Wolves signing is Robert Taylor, a striker who came from Manchester City for what then was a hefty fee of £1.55m. Taylor managed things other professional footballers can only dream of, from fluffing completely open goals to attempting a diving header, missing the ball and injuring himself.

Mercifully, he spent most of his three years at Molineux on the treatment table, managing just nine appearances – but they were more than enough for the Molineux faithful to know they’d seen someone uniquely awful. Taylor recorded a grand total of zero goals in his Wolves career. None. Nada. Zip.

I’d like to report that after Molineux, Taylor’s career took a turn for the better – but the reality was that he only scored one more goal in his entire career. Many of us regulars on the South Bank in those days still wonder how he even managed that.

Wycombe (Carlos Lopez de Silanes)

By Phil Slatter (@phil_slatter)

There have been many bad players through the years for Wycombe Wanderers, from forgotten loan signings, to panic buys, to former stars in their career twilights. Yet for the few Wanderers fans at the Abbey Stadium on January 22, 2002, the name Carlos Lopez remains (in)famous.

A Mexican defender filling in for the reliable Chris Vinnicombe at left-back, Lopez’s first – and only – start in English football was as part of a side that lost 2-0 against 10-man Cambridge. Some fans even argued it would have benefitted Wanderers had Lopez been sent off instead of United keeper Lionel Perez.

With just a 94th-minute yellow card to show for his Wycombe career, Lopez reportedly played out the remainder of his undistinguished career in his homeland. Was he better than his single performance suggested? It’s debatable, but the Chairboys faithful who were there that night are grateful Lawrie Sanchez didn’t take the chance.

Yeovil Town (Flavien Belson)

By Ben Barrett (@benbarrett10)

Yeovil have used no fewer than 301 players in the 13-and-a-half seasons that the Glovers have been in the Football League. In that extortionate number, 117 have failed to make it into double figures for appearances, and 24 only ever played once.

I figure that Yeovil’s worst player should come from that hundred or so. By the time you eliminate anyone who has scored a goal, anyone who came on loan from another club on loan or anyone who had a decent career before or after us, you’re down to just a handful.

There was striker Craig Calver, who impressed on trial and then never again; Nicholas Mirza, whose main achievement in Yeovil green was hitting the crossbar on Soccer AM, and Flavien Belson.

Belson was a Guadeloupean midfielder who signed from the French fifth division, but was tipped as being a possible star (or maybe that’s just what everyone was hoping for). He started against Carlisle, misplaced some passes, made two pretty poor tackles, secured himself two yellow cards and that was that. Forty-six minutes in a Yeovil shirt.

He was released three months later and is now back in the fifth tier of French football. What a star.

Accrington-Barnet • Barnsley-Blackpool • Bolton-Brentford • Brighton-Burnley • Burton-Cardiff • Carlisle-Cheltenham • Chesterfield-Crawley • Crewe-Doncaster • Everton-Fulham • Gillingham-Huddersfield • Hull-Leicester • Leyton Orient-Man City • Man United-Millwall • MK Dons-Newport • Northampton-Notts County • Oldham-Plymouth • Portsmouth-QPR • Reading-Scunthorpe • Sheffield United-Southampton • Southend-Sunderland • Swansea-Walsall • Watford-Wigan • Wolves-Yeovil

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