We started to collate the astonishing stats that made Erling Haaland’s start to life in the Premier League utterly extraordinary a while ago. He renders it woefully and embarrassingly out of date every game so let’s just keep this updated as best we can.

Bear in mind that he has done all this despite famously barely bothering to touch the ball the rest of the time, which means he is also the only player in history to score roughly a goal a game while also raising legitimate questions about whether he actually makes Man City worse.

Here are some of his Ridiculous Stats…

* Haaland has become the first Premier League player in history about whom formerly-good football website Football365.com has started doing a Ridiculous Stats piece and then realised to their horror is going to have to be updated once a week. At least.

* Erling Haaland has 36 goals in his first 35 Premier League appearances, claiming the record for most goals in a single season, previously held by Andy Cole and Alan Shearer (both in 42-game campaigns).

* No player has scored more goals in an English top-flight league season than Haaland’s 36 since Ron Davies netted 37 times for Southampton in 1966/67.

* With 52 goals, Erling Haaland has broken the record for most goals in one season in all competitions by a Premier League player, comfortably surpassing Mo Salah in 2017/18 and Ruud van Nistelrooy in 2002/03 (both 44).

* The only player in the history of top-flight English football to score more goals in all competitions in a single season than Haaland’s 52 in 2022/23 is Dixie Dean (63 for Everton in 1927/28).

* With 36 Premier League goals to his name, Haaland is six goals clear of his nearest ‘challenger’ for the Golden Boot, with Harry Kane having managed only a feeble 30 (albeit record-breaking) goals. Kane is the only player within 16 goals of Haaland’s tally, with Ivan Toney trailing in third on the list with 20. Haaland also finished second only to Kane on the list of top Premier League goalscorers for 2022 despite not making his debut in the competition until August.

* Those 36 goals Haaland’s plundered in his first nine months in Our League are more than the career totals of Florent Malouda, Jordan Henderson, Adam Lallana, Mesut Ozil, Jurgen Klinsmann, Nicky Butt, Juninho, Jesse Lingard, Savo Milosevic, Paul Rideout, Paul Pogba, Tammy Abraham, Nani, Victor Anichebe, Benjani, Roque Santa Cruz, Marcus Stewart, Mick Quinn, Stephane Sessegnon, Lomano Lua Lua, Tony Yeboah, Andrey Arshavin, Xherdan Shaqiri, Divock Origi, Mario Balotelli, Patrick Bamford, David Ginola, Michael Ricketts, Gianluca Vialli, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Michael Ballack, Erik Lamela, Alvaro Morata, Jose Antonio Reyes, Michy Batshuayi, Arjen Robben, Joe Allen, Fabio Borini, Demarai Gray, Odion Ighalo, Alex Iwobi, Robinho, Kai Havertz, Andre Schurrle, Luka Modric, David Platt, Gareth Southgate, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Edinson Cavani, Mousa Dembele, Samuel Eto’o, Dimitri Payet, Ademola Lookman, Harry Maguire, Emmanuel Petit, Granit Xhaka, Daniel Amokachi, Diego Forlan, Serhiy Rebrov, Andriy Shevchenko, Ronnie Rosenthal, Peter Beagrie, Gavin Peacock, Timo Werner, Jack Grealish, Luis Garcia and Alf-Inge Haaland.

* Everton and Wolves have scored fewer Premier League goals this season than Haaland; Southampton are level with the Norwegian. He trails the combined efforts of his teammates 58-36.

* By scoring nine goals in his first five Premier League games, Haaland finally knocked Micky Quinn’s name out of the record books. The former Coventry forward jointly held the previous record for most goals in his first five Premier League games with eight in the year football was invented. Sergio Aguero matched that in 2011/12.

* Haaland is already one of only six players to score back-to-back Premier League hat-tricks, but hasn’t yet matched Harry Kane in this particular field of excellence. Kane has not only done it twice, but did so in the same year (if not the same season) after scoring seven goals across the final two games of 2016/17 against Leicester and Hull before netting hat-tricks in successive games against Burnley and Southampton either side of Christmas Day seven months later. Hard as it is to credit, incidentally, that Boxing Day treble against Southampton in 2017 remains Kane’s most recent Premier League hat-trick.

* Four Premier League hat-tricks is already more than the career totals of Emmanuel Adebayor, Nicolas Anelka, Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, Romelu Lukaku, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Heung-min Son, Jamie Vardy, Gareth Bale, Roberto Firmino, Sadio Mane, Christian Benteke and Eden Hazard. He is now level with, deep breath, Yakubu, Kevin Campbell, Jermain Defoe, Les Ferdinand, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, Matt Le Tissier, Mohamed Salah, Teddy Sheringham, Chris Sutton, Carlos Tevez, Fernando Torres and Dwight Yorke.

* Four Premier League hat-tricks in a single season is more than any player has managed bar Alan Shearer, who scored five for Blackburn in 1995/96.

* Haaland has also surpassed Dion Dublin’s three Premier League hat-tricks. But how many episodes of Homes Under the Hammer has Haaland presented? Exactly.

* Haaland’s four hat-tricks take Norway fifth above Spain on the list of countries to have produced the most Premier League trebles with 14, Haaland standing on the shoulders of such giants as Solskjaer, Steffen Iversen and Joshua King (two each), John Carew, Tore Andre Flo and Jan Age Fjortoft (one each). Argentina and Holland are joint-second with 18 and France are on 17, which frankly shouldn’t take too long to topple, but even Haaland will have to hang around a few years to knock England’s 161 hat-tricks off top spot.

* Haaland is the first player in the Premier League to score hat-tricks in three successive home games, and the first Manchester City player to score a Manchester derby hat-trick since 1970.

* Haaland is unsurprisingly the quickest player ever to reach three Premier League hat-tricks after getting there in eight(!) games. The previous record holder was Michael Owen, who managed it in a sluggish 48 games. Next best are Ruud van Nistelrooy (59 games), Fernando Torres (64) and Andy Cole (65).

* Haaland is also by definition the quickest player ever to reach four Premier League hat-tricks after getting there in 19(!) games. The previous record holder was Ruud van Nistelrooy, who managed it in a laborious 65 games. Next best are Luis Suarez (81), Alan Shearer (86) and Robbie Fowler (89).

* Haaland’s 36 Premier League goals have come from 123 shots. That’s a shot conversion rate of 29%.

* The back-to-back hat-tricks against Palace and Forest came from a combined total of 32 touches.

* Haaland is the fastest player to ever score 25 goals under Pep Guardiola, doing so in 20 games to beat Lionel Messi (28), Samuel Eto’o (30), Sergio Aguero (35) and Thierry Henry (41).

* No player has scored more all-competition goals in a season for Manchester City than Haaland. Tommy Johnson’s mark of 38 goals stood since 1929 before Haaland broke it by mid-March of his debut campaign.

* Only 12 players have ever scored more goals under Pep Guardiola. Haaland’s 52 in 51 games is better than Arjen Robben (47 in 97) Xavi (36 in 208), Mario Gotze (36 in 114), Samuel Eto’o (36 in 52), David Villa (32 in 76) and Thierry Henry (30 in 74).

* Haaland was both the fastest and youngest player to reach 20 Champions League goals, obliterating Harry Kane’s really quite impressive previous benchmark of 24 games by 10 when reaching the landmark in just 14 games for Salzburg and Dortmund. At 20 years and 231 days old, Haaland was over a year younger than previous record-holder Kylian Mbappe as the youngest player to reach 20 Champions League goals.

* Haaland was also the fastest and youngest player to reach 30 Champions League goals, reaching the mark in 25 games and thus shattering Ruud van Nistelrooy’s previous 34-match haul, while beating Kylian Mbappe by 116 days.

* Only Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo (both 8), Robert Lewandowski (6), Karim Benzema (4), Mario Gomez, Filippo Inzaghi, Luiz Adriano and Neymar (3) have scored more career Champions League hat-tricks than Haaland’s two.

* Only 20 players have ever scored more European Cup goals than Haaland. In the Champions League, that number is reduced to just 17.

* Haaland has more European Cup goals than Fernando Morientes, Arjen Robben, Samuel Eto’o, Paco Gento, Antoine Griezmann, Kaka, Wayne Rooney, Patrick Kluivert, David Trezeguet, Ryan Giggs, Sadio Mane, Rivaldo, Luis Suarez and a couple of others.

* Haaland has 12 goals in Manchester City’s 2022/23 Champions League campaign – in only seven of 67 European Cup seasons has the highest scorer finished with more goals.

* That tally of 12 is already better than Haaland’s 10 when he won the competition’s Golden Boot in 2020/21. Only 12 players have ever finished multiple European Cup seasons as top scorer – and just Ronaldo, Messi, Van Nistelrooy, Raul and Andriy Shevchenko have done it in the Champions League era.

* Haaland has only played 12 games in the Champions League knockout stages but just 16 players have more goals in such matches.

* Haaland has more Champions League knockout stage goals (13) than Thierry Henry (12) managed in 36 games.

* Haaland has more Champions League knockout stage goals than Kaka, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Fernando Torres, Samuel Eto’o and Mo Salah, among others.

* Haaland and Lionel Messi are the only players to score a first-half hat-trick in a Champions League knockout game.

* Haaland, Messi and Luiz Adriano are the only players to score five goals in a Champions League game.

* After just 23 caps, Haaland is joint eighth on the list of leading goalscorers for the Norway men’s national team with 21 goals (level with 79-cap legend Steffen Iversen) and needs just 13 more to overhaul Jorgen Juve’s benchmark of 33 which has stood since before World War Two.

Erling Haaland honours
Austrian Bundesliga: 2018/19, 2019/20
DFB-Pokal: 2020/21
Bundesliga Player of the Season: 2020/21
Bundesliga Player of the Month: January 2020, November 2020, April 2021, August 2021
Bundesliga Team of the Season: 2020/21, 2021/22
UEFA Champions League Squad of the Season: 2020/21
UEFA Champions League Forward of the Season: 2020/21
UEFA Champions League Top Goalscorer: 2020/21
UEFA Nations League Top Goalscorer: 2020/21
FIFA FIFPro World 11: 2021
Premier League Player of the Month: August 2022, April 2023
Premier League: 2022/23

Erling Haaland top-flight league goals record
Molde (Eliteserien) 2017-2018: 39 games, 14 goals

Red Bull Salzburg (Austrian Bundesliga) 2018-2020: 16 games, 17 goals

Borussia Dortmund (Bundesliga) 2020-2022: 67 games, 62 goals

Manchester City (Premier League) 2022-23: 35 games, 36 goals

Total: 157 games, 129 goals

Erling Haaland Champions League record
Red Bull Salzburg 2019-20: 6 games, 8 goals

Borussia Dortmund 2019-22: 13 games, 15 goals

Manchester City 2022: 10 games, 12 goals

Total: 29 games, 35 goals

Erling Haaland international record
Norway 2019-22: 23 games, 21 goals

The article The ridiculous stats of Erling Haaland: First Premier League season ends on 36 goals appeared first on Football365.com.