Ex-Derry City boss Ruaidhri Higgins opens up on grief and regret following brother's death

Ruaidhri Higgins has opened up about the death of his brother Kevin in a series of emotional interviews - and admitted that he should have taken time out in February 2023 to properly grieve his passing. Higgins stepped down as Derry City manager shortly after their recent FAI Cup final defeat to Drogheda United.

Reflecting on his three-and-a-half year spell in charge of the Candystripes, he spoke about the period around his brother’s death in Sweden, and how he dived straight back into work. Higgins’ older brother Kevin was working as a psychotherapist when he died suddenly from a heart attack at the age of 49.

He recalled how he attended a service in Sweden on Thursday and the following night was in the dugout in Tallaght Stadium for a game against Shamrock Rovers.

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“When I look back, no, it’s crazy what I did,” Higgins told derrynow.com ’s Gary Ferry. “I went to Sweden for his funeral service before we brought him home. That was on a Thursday and I was in Tallaght on the Friday.

“I missed the first night of the wake at home, which I shouldn’t have done; that really, really frustrated and annoys me.

“I met the squad at the hotel on Friday and Kevin’s coffin had just been carried into the house at about ten past six and Lisa rang me to say ‘Kevin has just been brought into the house’, and I became very emotional and I remember that feeling, going ‘What the f*** am I doing here? I should be at home’.

“We’re such a close-knit family and Kevin would obviously have wanted me to do what I did, but still.

“There were two nights of a wake at home and I missed one of them for a game of football. We won the game, brilliant, but I have no doubt the players went out that night for that reason and put their bodies on the line.

“But you do make strange decisions when you’re in that mindset. If I could flip it, I definitely wouldn’t have been in Tallaght anyway.”

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Higgins believes he should have taken time off to mourn the passing of his brother.

“Those things come back to bite you further on down the road, and that’s what it did,” he said.

“I should have taken a month to six weeks completely away from it and turned my phone off.

“Since coronavirus >Covid, I haven’t had a full week off, which is four and a half years. I had four days in the summer in Spain, but you still be taking calls.

“I thought I was being brave, being strong, thought I was showing leadership, but ultimately, you end up with delayed grief, and that’s basically what happened.

“It bit me a few times and they were really, really, really tough periods.

“From my own state of mind, in the last four or five months, I’m in a much better place, but I did have two periods where I found myself in a place which I never, ever experienced before and never want to experience again.

“I got up every day and I went into work, and I think now, ‘How did I do that?’.”

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