FA Cup and Premier League bingo: Mark your card for this weekend's fixtures - how many points will you get?

Dan Zeqiri
The Telegraph
Arsenal take on Man City and Chelsea face Tottenham in the FA Cup - 2017 Getty Images
Arsenal take on Man City and Chelsea face Tottenham in the FA Cup - 2017 Getty Images

It's a massive weekend of football action with both Premier League and FA Cup fixtures to feast on.

See how many points you can accumulate from this weekend's clashes which include two FA Cup semi-finals as Chelsea tackle Tottenham and Arsenal take on Man City.

Premier League


Bournemouth vs Middlesbrough (3pm)

5 points: Another defeat leaves the toothless Teessiders condemned to relegation.  

15 points: Graeme Souness leaves the Vitality Stadium after 25 minutes, disappointed by the lack of players 'smashing into' their opposite numbers. 

25 points: Boro caretaker manager and 2026 pub quiz answer Steve Agnew remains utterly anonymous: his oratory makes Avram Grant sound like Peter Ustinov.

Hull vs Watford (3pm)

5 points: Marco Silva extends his Mourinho-like unbeaten home league run which keeps him in the hunt for a summer job offer. 

15 points: Troy Deeney starts on the bench after Walter Mazzarri's insisted this week that he does not want to sell his captain. 

25 points: The footballing public falls into existential crisis when they realise a dire Watford side are good enough to be a top-half Premier League team. 

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Swansea City vs Stoke City (3pm)

5 points: Both teams score in the Wilfried Bony derby. 

15 points: Fernando Llorente manages to get beyond the top speed of your average sloth. 

25 points: Both sides are lined with a summer move for departing Chelsea captain John Terry in the Sunday papers. 

West Ham United vs Everton (5.30pm)

5 points: West Ham's first season at the London Stadium limps on with another ignominious home defeat. 

15 points: Davids Gold and Sullivan fancy themselves as scouts once again, and take to Twitter to tell us they have their eye on Romelu Lukaku. 

25 points: Ross Barkley treats us to a Wayne Rooney-style 'knockout' celebration after his goal in Stratford. 

All-time Premier League table


Burnley vs Manchester United (2.15pm)

5 points: Jose Mourinho mentions the physical toll of Thursday's extra-time win over Anderlecht in the Europa League. 

15 points: We see at least six replays of the volley Robbie Blake scored in this fixture in August, 2009. 

25 points: 'Jose's got us playing the way United should' rings around the away end as the visitors labour to a 1-1 draw. 

Liverpool vs Crystal Palace (4.30pm)

5 points: Crystal Palace score from a corner at some stage of the game.

15 points: 2014's 3-3 draw at Selhurst Park, dubbed 'Crystanbul', is mentioned at least six times by Sky. 

25 points: Sam Allardyce calls Jurgen Klopp a 'soft German' again, leaving us in no doubt which way he voted in the EU referendum. 

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FA Cup 


Chelsea vs Tottenham Hotspur (5.15pm)

5 points: Chelsea beat Spurs in extra-time in a bad tempered encounter. 

15 points:  Antonio Conte sees sense and ditches the baseball cap for his first visit to Wembley as Chelsea manager. 

25 points: It's all sweetness and light between both sets of fans as they make their way back to Wembley Park tube station and a rendition of Kumbaya breaks out. 

Tottenham's results at Wembley | Since 2007


Arsenal vs Manchester City (3pm)

5 points: City carve Arsenal open on countless occasions but somehow Arsene Wenger's side sneak through to the final. 

15 points: Wenger's 'sleeping bag' coat now has a few dozen pockets sewn in now he is a master tactician playing three at the back. 

25 points: Alexis Sanchez and Pep Guardiola are pictured deep in conversation on the hallowed turf long after the final whistle.

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