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A field that is ostensibly two sandbanks flanking a long trench
PITCH IMPERFECT
Having had their backsides gently braised and handed back to them by Manchester City on two occasions in the Premier League last season, Tottenham have unwittingly hatched upon a novel wheeze to try and put one over on Pep Guardiola’s men when they meet on Monday night. Their ongoing state of homelessness means they continue to pitch up at Wembley, which having hosted three NFL games in the past few weeks boasts a pitch that is more ploughed field than fairway; a preposterously bumpy track that could – ironically – prove a great leveller. Quite how this will affect the lightning-fast attacking and precision tippy-tappiness for which City’s superstars are renowned remains to be seen, but when they take the field a day after the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Jacksonville Barbillers, The Fiver won’t be the only one bristling with anticipation before finding out.
Of course Spurs aren’t exactly Pulis-era Stoke City either and will also have to contend with the Wembley morass, but in the run-up to Sunday’s NFL game their manager joked that facing City on a field that is ostensibly two sandbanks flanking a long trench may indeed work to his team’s advantage. “Maybe it is good for us because we are going to face one of the best teams in Europe and the world in Manchester City and maybe it will help us,” said Mauricio Pochettino. “It wasn’t a plan for us to play in that period at Wembley and now we cannot complain. We are a little bit unlucky that the stadium is not finished.”
Normally an exceptionally chipper fellow, Poch was in uncharacteristically sombre mood as he reflected on a mixed start to the season for his side. Despite their best start to a Premier League campaign in aeons, Spurs are as good as out of Big Cup, still haven’t won anything despite all other people’s talk of how great their manager is, and will continue their hobo existence until January at the earliest. “This season my feeling is the worst,” he told reporters, after a long lament about his side’s ongoing inability to shed their inner-Spursiness. “I don’t know why, it is so difficult to explain, because many things happened, [we are] disappointed because we are still waiting for the new stadium and the expectation was to be there.” With a rather large vacancy opening up at Real Madrid, the minor worry for more paranoid Spurs fans is that that their manager’s self-flagellation and disillusionment with life at the not-Lane could conceivably take him somewhere else.
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Join Nick Ames from 8pm BST for hot MBM coverage of Tottenham 2-2 Manchester City.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It is with the deepest regret and a collective broken heart that we confirm our chairman, Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha, was among those to have tragically lost their lives on Saturday evening when a helicopter carrying him and four other people crashed outside King Power Stadium. None of the five people on board survived. The primary thoughts of everyone at the club are with the Srivaddhanaprabha family and the families of all those on board at this time of unspeakable loss. In Khun Vichai, the world has lost a great man. A man of kindness, of generosity and a man whose life was defined by the love he devoted to his family and those he so successfully led. Leicester City was a family under his leadership. It is as a family that we will grieve his passing and maintain the pursuit of a vision for the club that is now his legacy” – a club statement pays tribute to the late Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha. Here’s Stuart James on the quiet man behind a sporting fairytale.
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FIVER LETTERS
“Over the weekend, I witnessed Bruno set up Glenn Murray for our winning goal against Wolves. A combined age of 73. I’m questioning if there has ever been a higher goal + assist combined age in the Premier League (modern era, not top flight of old where players could go on into into their 40s)? The internet hasn’t helped me as it’s quite an obscure statistic and I’d imagine someone like Teddy Sheringham might be involved in an older combination” – Naz Al-Ani.
“Reading Friday’s Fiver – not bad by the way – it was interesting to read the story of Perth Glory striker Andy Keogh’s disenchantment and the link to David Squires’s excellent Usain Bolt storyboard. The ‘touch like a trampoline’ line is a great one but perhaps better is Squires’s assertion that ‘being good at one thing automatically qualifies you to be good at another’. The BBC and Sky – but most importantly BT Sport and TalkSport – should take note when recruiting down-at-heel ex-footballers to be pundits and experts” – Mike Waring.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Mike Waring.
BITS AND BOBS
Florentino Pérez was the reason Cristiano Ronaldo left Real Madrid, according to, well, the player. ‘[Pérez] only ever looked at me as a business relationship,” he tooted.
In news that can only end well, José Mourinho will be handed a cool £100m to spend in January by Manchester United.
Neymar has called on Ligue 1 to take action after players were hit by projectiles during PSG’s 2-0 win in Marseille. “It’s a lack of respect,” he sniffed.
James McArthur has retired from Scotland duty to focus on charging around the Crystal Palace midfield.
Bristol Rovers forward Stefan Payne has been fined for making a rude gesture at Pirates fans during their 1-0 League One loss at Barnsley. “I accept that my actions on Saturday were wrong. I apologise,” he parped.
And in Chile, Antofagasta striker Eduard Bello celebrated a goal by climbing into the stands and proposing to his girlfriend – particularly bold, as his team were playing away from home. Naturally, Bello was booked for his romantic gesture.
STILL WANT MORE?
Luis Suárez celebrated two very different hat-tricks in the clásico. Sid Lowe explains why.
Silvio Berlusconi’s suggestion that Milan play Kaká behind a front two was preposterous but Gennaro Gattuso may just have stumbled upon an unlikely new pairing, reports Paolo Bandini.
Bayer Leverkusen’s 6-2 win at high-flying Werder Bremen was a stunning reminder of how far they have fallen, writes Andy Brassell.
On this day 35 years ago Ian Rush and Tony Woodcock hit five league goals each. Read more about those events here.
How good can Ross Barkley be, will Theo Walcott ever grow up and what is Slav Bingo? It’s this weekend’s Premier League talking points.
Rachel Brown-Finnis has the lowdown on another dramatic weekend in the Women’s Super League.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
FROM THE WEEKEND
