The usual trigger warnings to longsuffering Manchester United supporters apply.
First up, it looks as though they’ve finally taken the hint and withdrawn from the race to sign Frenkie de Jong. Good news for Chelsea, and perhaps even Barcelona if they see sense. United have shifted their attention to another Barça player, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, 33, as well as the 35-year-old Jamie Vardy.
Veteran strikers have done the business for United in the past, from Billy Meredith to Teddy Sheringham to Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Cristia … but let’s not push our luck with this argument. They are after some fresh meat, though, in the shape of Atlético Madrid’s 23-year-old Brazilian forward Matheus Cunha.
Elsewhere, money continues to pop out of Todd Boehly’s wallet like a broken toaster. Chelsea have already upped an initial £40m offer for the 21-year-old Everton attacker Anthony Gordon to £45m, with Frank Lampard holding out for a cash-plus-unnamed-player deal, and they fancy Internazionale’s equally box-fresh midfielder Cesare Casadei, 19, as well.
Chelsea have to trim their ever-expanding squad at some point, so Marcos Alonso is off to Barcelona, while Emerson Palmieri will head to West Ham in express fashion. The Hammers are also interested in the defender Eric Bailly, who is surplus to requirements at Old Trafford despite what happened three days ago, as well as Paris Saint-Germain defender Thilo Kehrer.
Tottenham midfielder Tanguy Ndombele is off to Napoli on loan.
Finally, Newcastle want Watford’s Joāo Pedro, but the Hornets don’t fancy getting rid. Good luck holding out, with the richest club in the world happy to raise their initial £20m bid, and more than a fortnight to go before the window slams shut.