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Fulham prepared to wait for Guardiola

Fulham have announced that they are happy to wait for Pep Guardiola to leave Bayern Munich before appointing him as their new manager, according to reports from Craven Cottage.

Fulham have been without a manager for over a month, and the team’s form has suffered without a man in a suit telling them which way to shoot or what colour shirts to pass to. The club’s younger players have also taken advantage of the absence of an authority figure to stay up late playing video games, and some have reportedly been caught experimenting with rabonas.

Chairman Shahid Khan has rebuffed applications from Steve Clarke, Nigel Pearson and Alan Curbishley, the latter in a variety of wigs and fake moustaches, instead drawing up an shortlist appropriate for a club of Fulham’s stature.

No way Jose

“If you look at my track record at Craven Cottage over the past two-and-a-half years, it is obvious that I will only accept the very best,” said Khan. “I ruled out Jose Mourinho, obviously, and I’m not convinced by Laurent Blanc yet.

“I was prepared to consider Diego Simeone, Luis Enrique and Joachim Low, but they’re not quite at the level we expect at Fulham. In the end, it came down to Carlo Ancelotti or Pep Guardiola. Of course, Carlo is available now, but we’re going to wait a little bit longer for Pep to get back to us. I truly believe he would be an upgrade on Kit Symons.

“He’s not responded yet, which means he hasn’t said no. But he’ll make a decision on his future next week, so I naturally assume means he’ll be joining Fulham at the end of the season.”

Khan added that once Guardiola was on board, it would pave the way for Fulham to sign Lionel Messi, who he had identified as just the player to bring the most out of Cauley Woodrow.

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