Who gave Arsenal winger Gabriel Martinelli 4/10? He’s no James Maddison…

Gabriel Martinelli had a mare v Chelsea for Arsenal Credit: Alamy
Gabriel Martinelli had a mare v Chelsea for Arsenal Credit: Alamy

It’s a wonder that Brazil want Gabriel Martinelli after that disaster v Chelsea. Even Christian Pulisic was better…


Brazil nuts
Gabriel Martinelli did not score or assist a goal as Arsenal beat Chelsea 1-0 on Sunday to go top of the Premier League table again.

He should have assisted a goal of course, but Gabriel Jesus did not bury his header from the Brazilian’s sumptuous cross as he absolutely should have done.

So obviously The Sun gave him 4/10 as it was ‘not really his day’.

By contrast, Christian Pulisic got 5/10 and he touched the ball five times.


Nuts about Brazil
Obviously after that sh*tshow, Arsenal will not want to repeat their coup of Gabriel Martinelli but just in case they do, the Express website say they are on the cusp.

‘Arsenal ‘confident’ of sealing January transfer as Gunners seek Gabriel Martinelli repeat’

Apparently, signing Danilo from Palmeiras ‘would almost be a repeat of the deal which saw Gabriel Martinelli join the club in 2019’.

Yes, it’s absolutely uncanny. Apart from Danilo being a defensive midfielder, 21, already having swathes of top-flight experience and being likely to cost around five times the price of Martinelli.


Can we take a Trip down memory lane?
Garth Crooks has a radical idea for the England squad which will be named this Thursday in his BBC column:

‘The interception by Trippier followed by the pass for Joe Willock to score Newcastle’s third goal in their win at Southampton rather typified why the right-back must be a serious consideration for Gareth Southgate’s England squad.’

The 37-cap full-back who went to England’s last two major tournaments and plays in a position beset by injuries? ‘Serious consideration’, Garth? He is a sodding shoo-in.


Madd about the boy
Obviously, James Maddison is more of an outsider for the England squad, but the obsession with him in the media is bordering on the bizarre.

‘There’s a fine line between consistency and stubbornness and if Gareth Southgate does not select James Maddison he’ll have fallen the wrong side of it,’ is the headline on Ian Ladyman’s piece in the Daily Mail.

James Maddison is having a very good season for Leicester City but he has one England cap. Even Brendan Rodgers has called for perspective.

‘This week’s squad will be one comprising 26 players, rather than the usual 23. This is to give all competing nations a safeguard against issues with Covid.

‘With this in mind, it is actually harder to put together a squad without Maddison in it than it is to write down a list of 26 players that does include the Leicester player.’

It’s absolutely not. We did it here in September.

‘If Maddison does not get on the plane then who makes it ahead of him? His Leicester team-mate Harvey Barnes? Jarrod Bowen? James Ward-Prowse? On current form, it would be an absurd call from a man not prone to making many.’

We will stop you there and point out that you are naming three players who play three different positions, none of which are the same as Maddison, who plays off the right for Leicester but is given something of a free role.

We will also point out that Ward-Prowse in particularly plays in a position in which England are woefully short of options; Ladyman names his own squad that includes a grand total of four central midfielders, one of whom has played one minute of Premier League football all season. We feel like England might need some cover there.

If you want to talk about ‘absurd calls’, let’s discuss the inclusion of Dominic Calvert-Lewin after one goal in six appearances after returning from injury.

And the Daily Mail don’t stop there, with this headline elsewhere in the same newspaper: ‘How on earth has James Maddison won only ONE England cap? It’s crazy we should even be contemplating a situation in which he must brace himself for disappointment.’

Crazy? Absurd?

Mediawatch believes Maddison is perhaps now deserving of a squad place but that kind of language is ludicrous when we are talking about a player with one solitary England cap.

Oh and ask Youri Tielemans if he thinks he should go…


Can’t count, won’t count
‘Man Utd boss Ten Hag reveals Cristiano Ronaldo was only his FOURTH choice captain after ace took armband against Villa’ – The Sun website.

Putting something in CAPITALS does not make it actually correct. Clearly Ronaldo was Ten Hag’s THIRD choice as he was captain in the absence of Harry Maguire and Bruno Fernandes.

‘CRISTIANO RONALDO was Erik ten Hag’s FOURTH choice to be captain in Manchester United’s defeat at Aston Villa.’

You can keep saying it and keep CAPITALISING it but it’s still bollocks.

‘Ten Hag was quizzed about his decision to make Ronaldo captain.

‘And he revealed that summer signing Casemiro was going to get the honour instead of the legendary goalscorer.

‘However, the Brazilian’s lack of English led to him opting for Ronaldo instead.’

Which clearly makes him THIRD choice.


Know it Haal
Elsewhere on The Sun website

‘Man City announce best EVER financial results with £41m profit… despite splashing out on Haaland and Co’

Is that because splashing out on Haaland and Co is not included in last season’s accounts? Yes. Yes it is. FFS.

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