Gay man shares the bizarre, offensive things people have said to him since he became a daddy

Patrick Kelleher
·3-min read

A gay man has shared a list of the top 10 bizarre, offensive things people have said to him and his husband since they became dads.

Robin Morgan-Bentley shared the list on Twitter, highlighting the discriminatory attitudes queer parents often face in their everyday lives.

“Top 10 things actual people have said to me and my husband this year, as new gay dads,” Morgan-Bentley wrote.

Some of the points are hilarious, showing that people can be ignorant without meaning to be offensive – but others are truly shocking.

“Oh it’s lads’ day out today! So cute. Is mummy having the day off?” is the number one bizarre thing Morgan-Bentley has heard since becoming a dad.

Is the mum still involved? It must be so hard for her

But the list also reveals that people have questioned which of them is the “real dad”, while others have interrogated them on whether they worry about their son not being breast-fed.

Other questions include: “Is the mum still involved? It must be so hard for her,” and: “Do you reckon he’ll also be gay when he grows up?”

“What if his first word is mummy?” another person asked him, while another concerned straight person said: “Do you want me to help settle him?”

Gay dad was told: ‘I can be his mummy if you want’.

Perhaps most worryingly, one person actually said to him: “I can be his mummy if you want.”

Other people also alluded to the fact that their son was born in 2020 as COVID-19 began its rapid spread across the world.

“Oh he’s going to miss out on so much!” one person said to them. “Think of all the facial expressions he’s missing under these masks.”

Other Twitter users quickly shared their own horror stories of cis and straight people making bizarre, offensive, and sometimes hilarious faux-pas with their children.

Trans dad Freddy McConnell replied: “Solidarity! I’ve had many of these. Also virtually every one of my female friends/relatives has been assumed to be my kid’s mum more than once.”

Another gay dad replied: “We’ve had all of these and more. My particular fave: on seeing me choose a Fathers’ Day card with junior: ‘Oh your grandson is so adorable!’ (Though, maybe I just looked old).”

One woman added: “People are so intrusive to LGBTQ people’s lives. I’ve had a colleague ask me in a lift at work if I want kids, who will have them, how it will work… All in a one minute lift ride to the canteen (with other people in there…).”

But author CL Taylor perhaps summed it up best in her response to the thread, simply writing: “Woah. People are so rude.”