Come on Arsenal fans, cheer up – it’s not so bad really. In Wenger Kroenke we trust. You got what you wanted after all: Arsene is going and you don’t have to play in that stupid Europa League anymore. At least not until the next qualifying round in August.

Plus, look at all the new players you’re going to sign. There’s Caglar Soyuncu, a 21-year-old Turkish centre-back who the Standard says will be on his way to the Emirates in the summer. Bayern Munich wanted him, apparently. See, you can beat Bayern Munich sometimes.

News of the defender’s move was revealed by Seyit Mehmet Ozkan, the president of Turkish second division side Altinordu. Caglar Soyuncu doesn’t actually play for them – he plays for Freiburg – but he used to. So Seyit Mehmet Ozkan must be broadly in the loop on this, probably.

Then there’s Sokratis Papastathopoulos. He’s Greek, he’s 29, he plays for Borussia Dortmund and the Mirror says he has a “big fan” in Gunners head of recruitment Sven Mislintat. The German is targeting Papastathopoulos (but, fortunately for him, not typing it twice in one paragraph) as part of a “defensive overhaul” that could see another four other players arrive.

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Among them, genuinely excitingly, could be Eric Bailly. That’s from the Mirror again – going big on this story after picking up on a tiny throwaway remark that appeared in an earlier article on ESPN.

The tabloid says the Gunners – along with Chelsea – are ready to swoop for the Manchester United centre-back after he was mysteriously “frozen out” by Red Devils manager Jose Mourinho. (Although Jose said this is just because he wants to help Chris Smalling make it to the World Cup, because he’s nice like that.)

Double defensive swoop for Spurs

Tottenham are being far less imaginative with their defensive signings by targeting players that everyone has heard of. The Express reports that Spurs are planning a “£65m DOUBLE swoop” (not sure why the capital letters are necessary really) for Alfie Mawson and Ryan Bertrand.

Mauricio Pochettino is tipped to splash out £40m on Swansea centre-back Mawson and another £25m on Southampton left-back Bertrand, although they could get the duo cheaper if they both get relegated.

That could only happen though if Stoke (and yes, if you want to be pedantic, West Brom) stay up, which Potters boss Paul Lambert evidently thinks they will (Stoke, not West Brom) judging by his current jovial manner. Responding to transfer speculation that Jack Butland could leave the club for £35m (Sky Sports), he quipped: “Is that for one glove?” Keep smiling Lambo and the wins will surely follow.

Elsewhere, highly-rated Dutch youngster Justin Kluivert is ready to snub a huge new deal at Ajax to sign for Manchester United (Mirror), Liverpool have “re-emerged” as contenders to sign £55m-rated Borussia Dortmund forward Christian Pulisic despite the Bundesliga club saying they “know nothing” of the Reds’ interest (Mail) and Everton are weighing up an approach for Marco Silva as a replacement for manager Sam Allardyce (Goal). Now watch Watford lose 12 games in a row.

@darlingkevin