Groomsman faces backlash after ‘demanding’ to be paired with a different bridesmaid: ‘Stop making it about you’
A man doesn’t understand why asking to swap bridesmaids at his friend’s wedding is a big deal.
The groomsman went on Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum and was promptly called out. Before being paired with bridesmaid Brooke as a wedding party member, the two went on a date. He ended the evening earlier than planned because he is shorter than Brooke and didn’t think her job was a “legit career path.” Now, he doesn’t want to be paired with Brooke at their friends’ wedding because of their history.
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“AITA for demanding a different bridesmaid at my friends wedding? So my (26M) two best friends Adam and Whitney are getting married this fall,” he explained. “We have been tight since HS, with the three of us always running together. I was asked to be in the wedding party. Obviously I’m ecstatic for my friends. But here is the issue. They paired me up with the one bridesmaid I’m not a fan of. This girl named Brooke (27F). Me and Brooke met each other a few years ago. She was Whitney’s volleyball teammate in college. She moved into our area and we started hanging out. She seemed like a great person at first. Funny, down to earth and very athletic. Whitney is the one who set us up. I wasn’t all that confident in the situation.
“Because our height difference was a little extreme for me (I’m 5’8 and she’s 6 foot). But I decided to at least go on the date. We had a very nice time. But that is when I learned what Brooke did. She was a cashier at a tanning salon. I’m looking for someone who has a legit career path. I’m in financial planning and have always wanted someone who makes similar to me. So at the end of the date I told her that I didn’t think it would workout between us. And we should prolly just skip the movie we had planned. She asked why. I was polite and told her that I didn’t see our paths aligning. Well she kept badgering me and wanted to know what was the real reason. I told her that I just wanted someone who had a defined career path and made good money. I worded it very lightly.”
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“Over the next few weeks Whitney hardly responded to me. As did a few of my other friends. I find out that Brooke told them a totally different version of the events. That I abandoned her on our date because she was poor. Which isn’t at all what happened. She drove to the restaurant. We just didn’t go to the movie afterwards. She told everyone I was shallow and completely reworded what I said. I was able to explain my side of things and show Whitney the texts. And we made up. But I haven’t wanted anything to do with Brooke since.”
“Now I’m paired up with her for the wedding. Which wouldn’t be a big deal besides the fact we have a lot of responsibilities together. We have to form a dance and some other stuff. I just don’t want to do it with her. I asked Whitney to switch me to a different girl. And she refused. Saying she wants it this way. I’m halfway convinced they are doing it to mess with me. Adam understands my position but is telling me to just go along with it. I don’t want to cause a thing here. But I’m nervous they want to f*** with me because of the height difference or something. I’m thinking about asking to just be a guest and see if that changes things for Whitney. Because it’s really my only leverage here.”
Redditors thought the poster was being inconsiderate.
“This isn’t your wedding so stop making it about you. Suck it up,” a user wrote.
“If I set a friend up on a date with another friend and he treated her this way, I would lose his number,” another said.
“You’re not in any position to make demands at someone else’s wedding. Either deal with it or don’t go,” a person commented.
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