With horse names in 2017 Kentucky Derby, there's no match for Patch

Here are the best horse names in the 2017 Kentucky Derby, ranked from No. 20 to No. 1.

Simple is best when it comes to naming horses. Looking at the contenders in Saturday's 2017 Kentucky Derby (6:34 p.m. ET post time, NBC), it definitely applies to many of the entries in the crown jewel of horse racing's Triple Crown.

You've already seen how the horses in the race are ranked in terms of updated odds and post positions after Wednesday's draw at Churchill Downs. But if you're a picking a winner based on name alone, it all comes down to the sentimental favorite: Patch, the horse who lost his left eye last summer.

MORE DERBY: How to watch | Best names since 2000

That impairment could be significant Saturday in the Derby as Patch, starting from the No. 20 post position on the far right edge, quite literally won't be able to see his competition out of the gate.

Weaknesses aside, here are the strongest horse names in the 2017 Kentucky Derby, ranked from No. 20 to No. 1.

Kentucky Derby horses: Best names for 2017

20) Fast and Accurate

As the longest shot at 50-to-1, he should probably be called Slow and Last.

19) J Boys Echo

Sounds like a J. Geils Band tribute band. At 20-to-1, it will take a freeze-frame photo finish.

18) Always Dreaming

Sounds like a lost Debbie Gibson song. "Circle in the Sand" or "Electric Youth" would have been better.

17) Sonneteer

Tonight, the role of Hamlet will be played by the famous Mr. Ed.

16) Battle of Midway

It would be a better name, for you know, a battle.

15) Gormley

Not exactly Seabiscuit or Secretariat, is it?

14) State of Honor

State of Boring, amiright?

13) Irap

Not to be confused with Iran, Iraq or iPad.

12) Gunnevera

Arthurian legend has it he's named after a town in Spain.

11) Hence

If Hunter Pence was a horse....he would be Hence, of course.

10) Lookin at Lee

A horse named Lee walks into a bar and the bartender looks at Lee and says, "Why the long face?"

9) Practical Joke

We're partial to Impractical Riddle.

8) Irish War Cry

"Sir Whir Racy" would have been better.

7) Thunder Snow

Because that's totally an awesome thing.

6) Classic Empire

A classy favorite for a more classical, empirical age.

5) Girvin

"The Icehorse"

4) Tapwrit

Just fast forward to the stud farm, why don't we?

3) Untrapped

A treatise on the dichotomy of wanting to run wild and free while being reined in.

2) McCraken

Unleash it. Fill it. Laugh at it. Love it.

1) Patch

He's what you would call a beloved old faithful dog. And as the one-eyed 30-to-1 "dark horse" everyone loves from postilion No. 20, it's hard to find a sweeter name than that.

MORE: Fast facts before you pick a Derby winner


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