Hot Football Transfer Gossip: Arsenal made ‘discreet inquiry’ for Lewandowski

July 2015. Arsene Wenger slides on a pair of sunglasses, dons his finest linen suit and takes a business class flight to Germany. He heads straight to the Bayern Munich training ground, where Pep Guardiola spots the Frenchman pacing towards him. As Wenger approaches his Spanish counterpart, he flips open one lapel to reveal a photograph in the lining of his linen suit. Guardiola thinks he recognises the face in the photo, but before he knows it the Arsenal manager has silently walked past him without so much as a glance of recognition. ‘Funny, that looked like a photo of Robert Lewandowski,’ thinks a puzzled Guardiola as he returns to his coaching duties. Wenger, his forehead now beaded with sweat from the summer heat, gets on the next flight back to London where he sits waiting by the phone. Nothing.

August 2015. Arsene Wenger impatiently shoves another photo of Robert Lewandowski into his lapel pocket, heads to Heathrow airport and goes through exactly the same process again.

At least, we’re assuming this is roughly what happened, in light of the Mail’s revelations today that Arsenal made “discreet inquiries” for Bayern’s five-goal-in-nine-minutes striker in the last transfer window. A “discreet” inquiry? What on earth is that and how is it going to land you one of Europe’s top strikers? Except it might just work, according to the Mail, who seem to think Lewandowski could soon be “surplus to requirements” at the Allianz Arena because he’s not Guardiola’s kind of player. Gunners fans better hope those five goals against Wolfsburg didn’t change Pep’s mind.

To complicate things even more, Spanish media outlet AS reckons Lewandowski wants to move to Spain, because the prolific Pole’s agent told reporters that “Madrid and Barcelona are nice places.” He also said that Manchester “always rains” and Munich is a “beautiful city”. So, basically, we’ve got nothing except some travel tips.

Meanwhile, there are some conflicting reports about Mesut Ozil’s future, with the Mirror tipping Arsenal to offer the German midfielder a new deal while Turkish media continue to link the 26-year-old with a move to Fenerbahce.

Sticking with the Gunners, Wenger is also apparently keen on Juventus defender Daniele Rugani, with the Independent claiming Arsenal will bid £13m for the 21-year-old in January. Sounds more effective than a discreet inquiry, at least.

There are some non-Arsenal stories in today’s papers too - well, one - which is the Mirror tipping Birmingham winger Demarai Gray to leave St Andrews in January, with Liverpool and Bournemouth apparently interested.

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