Arsene Wenger leaving Arsenal is a bit like Brexit, or the Trump election victory, or the time that woman threw a cat in the bin. Even as you can see it unfolding before your very eyes, there is something in your brain that prevents you from believing it will actually happen.
But by jove you better believe it, according to the Mirror, which confidently predicts that come the end of the season, Wenger’s gonna be gone like Donkey Kong.
The paper says the Frenchman is “preparing to leave Arsenal”, and it’s probably a good job he’s giving himself a three-month head start because it will take a long time to pack up 21 years’ worth of stuff.
Before Wednesday’s humiliating 5-1 defeat by Bayern Munich, Wenger was apparently “50/50” about whether to stick around at the Emirates, but the manner of that thrashing has helped him make up his mind – and he will definitely quit barring “a remarkable change of heart”. Or a 4-0 win in the second leg against Bayern, obviously. Imagine what Troopz on Arsenal Fan TV would think about that.
Alexis Sanchez is set to follow Wenger out of the Emirates exit door after being involved in a “furious dressing room row” at the Allianz Arena (Sun), during which “the fuming frontman let rip at team-mates” and then stormed off to Italy to let off some steam (Sporting News). Hopefully he was allowed to take his dogs with him.
Another man who is set to leave Arsenal, although in slightly less momentous fashion, is Lucas Perez. Goal reports that the rarely used striker is set to depart this summer in order “to fulfil his dream of playing for Spain in the 2018 World Cup” – an ambition that is unlikely to be realised while he sits on the Gunners bench.
Manchester United defender Eric Bailly has recommended his Ivorian international team-mate Frank Kessie to Jose Mourinho, reports the Sun. Bailly has apparently “flagged” to his manager that the Atalanta midfielder could be “the new Yaya Toure”, but Mourinho must surely already know that because Kessie has been described as “the new Yaya Toure” approximately 617 times a day for the past six months.
United have also apparently secured a “pre-contract agreement” with Benfica defender Victor Lindelof (Calciomercato), which presumably means the Swede can’t change his mind about moving to Old Trafford even if he wants to.
Elsewhere, Everton and Leicester are vying to sign Hamburg’s young Brazilian midfielder Walace (Mirror), Chelsea are interested in Torino forward and alleged Man Utd target Andrea Belotti (Express) and James Rodriguez has ruled out moves to the Blues and the Red Devils and reiterated his desire to remain with Real Madrid despite being a bit-part player for the past two seasons (Metro). That guy really can’t take a hint.