Hot Transfer Window Football Gossip: Real Madrid 'plan Alli swoop', Payet 'to rejoin Marseille', Lampard 'to return'

Some things will never change: Chelsea have no history, Liverpool used to be good and Manchester United were once regarded as genuine title contenders.

Add to that list that Tottenham Hotspur are Real Madrid’s feeder club … if the Daily Mirror is to be believed.

Because after plundering White Hart Lane to create European Champions out of both Gareth Bale and Luke Modric it looks like Los Blancos now fancy ending the Dele Alli/Harry Kane bromance by luring Alli to the Spanish capital.

It won’t be this month of course because the Transfer Window is still firmly shut on the Champions League holders but once the season ends and Alli has to choose between Thursday nights travelling to Qarabag or a season travelling the world and only having two tough domestic matches a season… well, you work it out.

The bad news for the Lane faithful is that ‘Mirror Sport understands Alli would find it extremely hard to turn down a huge move to Spain.’

Either way, Zinedine Zidane is considering the ‘stunning summer swoop’ for the 20-year-old who signed a new six-year Spurs deal worth £60k a week just four months ago.

While Spurs have a few months to work out how they might spend the cash they get for the former MK Dons midfielder, North London rivals Arsenal are already planning their next signing as they maintain their quest to win nothing meaningful.

According to the Sun the Gunners have their eye on Juventus defender Miralem Pjanic and have set aside £28m to land the Bosnia & Herzegovina international.

Arsene Wenger is going to have some spare wages floating around if the Mirror’s story that he is furious that Mathieu Debuchy went public on him being denied a move to Manchester United is fact not fiction.

Mat Deb could be offloaded as soon as this month it seems meaning he will not be involved

in yet another Champions League exit to Bayern Munich unless he is snapped up by Carlo Ancelotti of course.

As West Ham’s bubble continues to deflate (if that’s technically possible), Irons fans will be alarmed by the Daily Express report that star man Dimitri Payet might just be about to resign then re-sign for Marseille.

They are ‘serious about landing Payet’ insists the Express and the 29-year-old’s verdict on his former club was: ‘Marseille have a new project which seems interesting – they know how attached I am to the club.’

Another London Stadium departure could be Simone Zaza, whom the Independent say is a target for doomed LaLiga club Valencia. [Sound of bubble being re-inflated…]

As Chelsea prepare to take possession of the Premier League trophy this week they are about to say goodbye to John Mikel Obi after 10 years at Stamford Bridge – he is going to join the Valencia revolution with Zaza apparently but the two of them combined will breach the Financial Fair restrictions so they might have to choose [sound of laughter from Gary Neville’s mansion].

As Obi leaves, in comes Switzerland left back Ricardo Rodriguez whom the Blues have seen off Arsenal to land – says the Sun who add that boss Antonio Conte ‘is confident of securing a £21m deal as he looks to bolster his squad.’

Chelsea legend Frank Lampard’s two-year stint in the MLS is over but he could be returning to the Premier League – or not – according the Croydon Advertiser.

Evergreen Frank will be snapped up by Crystal Palace or Brighton it seems as ‘he has a house in Surrey and would bring a guarantee of goals.’

That seems to be the entire basis of the speculation but the Croydon Ad hedges its bets but also suggesting that Lampard could even sign a short-term Chelsea contract to fill the Oscar-shaped midfield hole.

They stop short of suggesting of him adding to his 106 England caps though…

Finally, Manchester United might not want Morgan Schneiderlin but they are not going to let anyone else have him either it seems.

The France midfielder is out of favour at Old Trafford but the Reds have rejected a £19m bid from Everton (Daily Telegraph) – he is Ronald Koeman’s ‘prime January target’ and played for him at Southampton.

“We have not received one single offer that we are going to accept,” manager Jose Mourinho said. “I don’t want to sell players. The club and the board is totally with me but, if a player is not having lots of minutes and really wants to leave, we have no right to stop him if the conditions are our conditions.”

With the Toffees missing out at £19m, it seems rather odd that West Brom should offer £18m for the same player (Sky Sports) who cost United £25m in 2015 – but they now seem ready to up their bid